Oh crappy day

Townsville’s streets are being overtaken by nefarious ne’er do wells who make life unpleasant for the common citizen. That’s a bit dramatic – but you’d be equally disgusted if you’d spent the morning cleaning human excrement of your fiance’s car. That’s right. Some scum of the earth, low life, intellectually impaired, inebriated (one can only assume) excuse for a human decided it would be entirely appropriate to rub their faeces all over a car parked innocently by the side of the road in one of Townsville’s more desirable housing estates. Why? Well, that’s anybody’s guess. People are stupid. People this stupid should be shot.

On an unrelated note, with 96 days to go I’ve decided to start diarising/documenting the wedding planning process for your enjoyment – or to highlight ours…

Invitation lists are a nightmare – how can you fit a lifetime’s worth of friends into one small group, in one small setting? Where do you draw the line? These questions are made all the more difficult when you throw family dynamics and differing philosophies into the mix. How important is it to be invited to a wedding? I’m always slightly offended if I don’t get that coveted invite to the best party in town – it’s stupid. I’d just like to invite everyone I know – but reality is starting to set in. Finding a venue for the ceremony and reception was a process in itself.

So far these are the decisions we’ve made regarding our wedding:
1. We’re marrying each other
2. My dad will conduct the ceremony
3. We’re getting married “on the farm” in Dalby (well technically just outside of Dalby).
4. Our bridal party will consist of 4 people – Robyn’s 2 sisters and two of my friends. I had been keen to produce my side of the bridal party by lotto – I figure any of the guys on the list are good enough to be my lackeys for the day… but that was voted down. Instead I went with “representatives” – my longest friendship and longest serving housemate will represent all my former housemates and all of my friends.

5. Robyn has made arrangements to have her dress made. She’s seeing the dressmaker today.
6. We had a look at some wedding ring options.
7. Our reception will be for somewhere between 50 and 130 people. This is where we’re currently up to. Fun, fun, fun…

Today’s topic though is the fun part – gifts. Obviously the more people you invite to a wedding the more bounty you come away with at the end. An abundance of toasters, cheese platters and photo frames awaits the disorganised couple. Gift registries were born out of the desire not to have to sort through the piles of toasters to find gems. They’re practical. But they suck. I hate them. I’ve never bought anyone anything of a registry. I now give my Christian friends subscriptions to the Briefing and haven’t really figured out a substitute for non Christians.

Wishing Wells are even worse – they’re essentially an even more practical step than the registry – don’t give us gifts, just give us the cash. It’s impersonal to the extreme but also extremely practical which has some benefits. The pressure to come up with a witty or insightful poem or verse on why someone should give you money is also too much of a cross to bear in the lead up to impending nuptials.

In response to my aversion to both registries and wishing wells I’ve come up with what I believe is the ultimate response – the anti-registry. We’re going to list all the things we already own and people can fill in the gaps. I’ve made the initial web page using google’s page creator – it’s that easy. Now it’s a matter of getting the idea by mums and dads.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

3 thoughts on “Oh crappy day”

  1. * Unless you provide “guests” with the ability to anonymously “vote” as to the item(s) they will provide you may end up with 30 of any item not on the list, rather than 2 or three of the item you already have.

    Sometimes multiples are nice – they make good pass-on wedding gifts if there’s a few more on the horizon.

    * The more people invited, the less time you have to talk with everyone . This can be a positive or negative.

    * Did you know that two spaces after a period/full stop is incorrect when using proportional fonts?

  2. Gift registries are one of the greatest inventions ever for mankind (or at least Daniel-kind).

    I really dislike buying gifts. It’s a frustrating process at best. However with a gift registry, you can go to a shop with a budget and walk out within 10 minutes knowing that you’ve bought something that someone wants. It’s “win-win-win” for the gift giver, the gift receiver and particularly for large department stores.

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