Townsville’s streets are being overtaken by nefarious ne’er do wells who make life unpleasant for the common citizen. That’s a bit dramatic – but you’d be equally disgusted if you’d spent the morning cleaning human excrement of your fiance’s car. That’s right. Some scum of the earth, low life, intellectually impaired, inebriated (one can only assume) excuse for a human decided it would be entirely appropriate to rub their faeces all over a car parked innocently by the side of the road in one of Townsville’s more desirable housing estates. Why? Well, that’s anybody’s guess. People are stupid. People this stupid should be shot.
On an unrelated note, with 96 days to go I’ve decided to start diarising/documenting the wedding planning process for your enjoyment – or to highlight ours…
Invitation lists are a nightmare – how can you fit a lifetime’s worth of friends into one small group, in one small setting? Where do you draw the line? These questions are made all the more difficult when you throw family dynamics and differing philosophies into the mix. How important is it to be invited to a wedding? I’m always slightly offended if I don’t get that coveted invite to the best party in town – it’s stupid. I’d just like to invite everyone I know – but reality is starting to set in. Finding a venue for the ceremony and reception was a process in itself.
So far these are the decisions we’ve made regarding our wedding:
1. We’re marrying each other
2. My dad will conduct the ceremony
3. We’re getting married “on the farm” in Dalby (well technically just outside of Dalby).
4. Our bridal party will consist of 4 people – Robyn’s 2 sisters and two of my friends. I had been keen to produce my side of the bridal party by lotto – I figure any of the guys on the list are good enough to be my lackeys for the day… but that was voted down. Instead I went with “representatives” – my longest friendship and longest serving housemate will represent all my former housemates and all of my friends.
Today’s topic though is the fun part – gifts. Obviously the more people you invite to a wedding the more bounty you come away with at the end. An abundance of toasters, cheese platters and photo frames awaits the disorganised couple. Gift registries were born out of the desire not to have to sort through the piles of toasters to find gems. They’re practical. But they suck. I hate them. I’ve never bought anyone anything of a registry. I now give my Christian friends subscriptions to the Briefing and haven’t really figured out a substitute for non Christians.
Wishing Wells are even worse – they’re essentially an even more practical step than the registry – don’t give us gifts, just give us the cash. It’s impersonal to the extreme but also extremely practical which has some benefits. The pressure to come up with a witty or insightful poem or verse on why someone should give you money is also too much of a cross to bear in the lead up to impending nuptials.
In response to my aversion to both registries and wishing wells I’ve come up with what I believe is the ultimate response – the anti-registry. We’re going to list all the things we already own and people can fill in the gaps. I’ve made the initial web page using google’s page creator – it’s that easy. Now it’s a matter of getting the idea by mums and dads.