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A beginner's guide to bad writing

Posted by: Nathan Campbell | Tuesday, 10 November 2009, 22:35 | Category : Communication

There are mil­lions of tips for good writ­ing online — but what if you want to be the next Dan Brown?

You need bad writ­ing tips — and this web­site is here to help — replete with sam­ple passages.

Here are my favourite tips — click the link for the posts (includ­ing samples)…

  1. Replace con­crete nouns with abstract ones
  2. Always use a thesaurus
  3. Describe every char­ac­ter in minute detail, tak­ing no account of nar­ra­tive pacing
  4. Use as many adjec­tives as you can
  5. Cre­ate sub­plots which bear no rela­tion to the main story

If you invert the tips you also get a pretty good guide to good writing.

Related posts:
  1. How Twilight Works
  2. Six questions that make you a better writer
  3. Stuff that happens in one minute
  4. Style guide
  5. LaRouche is on fire
Author: Nathan Campbell

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He is currently a student at the Queensland Theological College. In a previous professional life he worked in public relations for an economic development and tourism marketing organisation. He is married to Robyn. He likes coffee and the internet.

Read Nathan's 3799 articles.

  1. 1
    Amy
    wrote on 10 November 2009 at 23:09

    Excel­lent. I should try this for NaNoRiMo…


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Eutychus was a young man who fell to his death because the Apostle Paul preached for too long (Acts 20). I've decided to canonise Eutychus and make him the patron saint of my dalliances around the Internet.

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Jeff K : I ask people how their Bible reading is going if I get into an awkward convo at church. works a treat.
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KIM : *like* or am i not supposed to put words in stars?? i like it anyway!
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Ben McLaughlin : Heh! That's cool that they were such good sports about it.
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Al Bain : It was your comment that all actions should tick at least one that got me wondering. I think the three categories we have been talking about are helpful. And probably the easiest way to thi
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Nathan Campbell : I don't know that I'm restricting all actions to this trichotomy - because I think "worship" is probably another element that could be added to the Venn diagram (that would overlap heavily with the ot
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al bain : On what scriptural basis are you restricting all actions to this trichotomy?
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Nathan Campbell : How are these, for definitions... Work = Activities for bringing order. Rest = Activities for rejuvenation. Play = Activities for pleasure. I still think the best actions tick two or more of
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