Dear parents. Please smack your children, keep them disciplined, train them to respond to a series of whistles (no joke – Robyn’s uncle has done this, it’s fantastic), think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, drive them from one extra-curricular activity to the next, feed them good stuff, feed them bad stuff, breast feed them until they can walk, talk or run… well, maybe not that one – and feel free to overshare about their toilet training as much as you like… just please, please don’t post a video of their drug induced stupor on the Internet – or do anything that may come back to haunt them as an adult… like making them use this dummy (found here):
Yes, it may look hilarious. At first. You may want to show all your friends how cute your little angel is with big buck teeth… but they won’t thank you for it later. Trust me.
Nathan runs St Eutychus. He is currently a student at the Queensland Theological College. In a previous professional life he worked in public relations for an economic development and tourism marketing organisation. He is married to Robyn. He likes coffee and the internet.
Nathan has produced 3161 articles.
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1queenstuss
wrote on 29 March 2009 at 13:48
Are you giving this advice based on experience?
2Amy
wrote on 29 March 2009 at 13:56
Hey, I used to do the brochures for those guys. They have WAY MORE far far worse than that particular one.
Yokel anyone?
3queenstuss
wrote on 29 March 2009 at 14:35
I love the fact that according to the packet it would be perfectly acceptable for me to wear one of these.
My teeth do a good enough job on their own, but I could wear one if I wanted to.
4Nathan
wrote on 29 March 2009 at 14:50
I admit I spent much of yesterday reviewing Campbell family home video and I may have been embarrassed about some of the things my parents not only encouraged us to do – but filmed us doing…
5queenstuss
wrote on 30 March 2009 at 10:35
Nathan, don’t you understand that it is a parent’s primary role to make record of cute, but potentially embarrassing, things their children do?