I love read­ing pro­fes­sion­als giv­ing tips for every­day liv­ing. This inter­view with a butcher is fas­ci­nat­ing. He gives five tips (in detail) that I’ll sum­marise here on how not to cut yourself.

1. Keep the knife in your hand
   

   “You should hold your knife like the butt of a pis­tol, fin­gers wrapped tightly around the grip “like some­one was try­ing to take it away from you.” Some peo­ple hold a bon­ing knife like a conductor’s baton dur­ing a par­tic­u­larly slow part of Pachelbel’s Canon. This is wrong. You will either drop your knife through your fin­gers, caus­ing you to cut your knife hand with your knife, or, more likely, lose track of it in your brain’s motor con­trol cen­ter and cut the hand hold­ing the meat.”

2. Don’t cut towards your­self
   

   Putting all your strength into a brazen “take it to the board” type of cut is a sure way to bury a knife in your chest, belly, femoral artery or … gen­i­tals. We’re not talk­ing stitches here, we’re talk­ing surgery at best and cof­fin at worst.

3. Keep every­thing clean.
   

   We take care to avoid fat buildup on our knife han­dles to pre­vent what I like to call “the knife hand­shake,” which con­sists of hav­ing your lubri­cated fist slip over the grip and onto the length of the blade. Wash your hands. Wash your knives. Thor­oughly. Often.

4. Do not leave knives on the table, ever.
   

   This applies mainly in a butcher shop. The rea­son we wear some­what gar­ish knife scab­bards on our hips is to avoid ever set­ting a knife on the table. Why? Our pieces of meat are large and heavy, and knives can be well hid­den. Add force and weight, and you can imag­ine what might hap­pen to your hand or fore­arm. Gross.

5. Bones can be really sharp.
   

   Bones, par­tic­u­larly the chine and feather bones along the spinal col­umn, become extremely sharp and dan­ger­ous when cut by a car­cass splitter.

Speak­ing of knives — I’ve been look­ing for an oppor­tu­nity to plug a bunch of knives I bought online recently that have turned out to be incred­i­bly awe­some and very sharp. They’re also cheap. They are Thai restau­rant style chef’s knives and cleavers and they’re the sharpest knives I’ve ever played with (not that play­ing with knives is a good idea).

Author: Nathan Campbell

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He is currently a student at the Queensland Theological College. In a previous professional life he worked in public relations for an economic development and tourism marketing organisation. He is married to Robyn. He likes coffee and the internet.

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