Archives For Cricket

My Cricket Clearance List

Nathan Campbell —  December 28, 2010

This is, in order, who I’d get rid of from the Australian cricket scene if I could.

1. Ricky Ponting. Can’t bat (anymore). Can’t captain.
2. Bill Lawry. The most annoying commentator in the world.
3. Mark Taylor. Only just beaten by Bill Lawry. These two have ruined my summer almost more than Ponting.
4. The selectors. Seriously. Get some new material.
5. Mitchell Johnson. Bowls well sometimes. Doesn’t know what he’s bowling the rest of the time.
6. Michael Clarke. Doesn’t seem to be able to see the ball most of the time.
7. Phillip Hughes. Needs some time to get his head right.
8. Peter Siddle. Hard worker, gets wickets eventually, but seems to lull opposition batsmen into form with his boringness and stupid goatee.
9. Ben Hilfenhaus. How long can we carry this guy? Has done so little that I almost forgot that he was in the team.

It’s a steel…

Nathan Campbell —  November 8, 2009

Watching Australia play the West Indies is one of the only cricketing experiences that isn’t better in a comfortable couch with a big screen.

It’s better live. And it’s better live for one reason, and one reason alone. Steel drums.

But now you can watch the cricket from the comfort of your lounge with your own set of finger drums to keep things dialed to “chillaxed mon”…

Feeling the burn

Nathan Campbell —  August 23, 2009

The Ashes are, without a doubt, the single most important piece of post colonial national pride. There is no other contest so closely fought between Australia and England. It’s important. People who don’t understand sport can’t see the influence that cricket has on the national psyche. But our sporting dominance over the Poms is important because they’re better at other stuff – like comedy – than us.

Now that we’re going to lose the Ashes again, in all probability, from a seemingly unlosable position, I’m going to go on the record (again) with my statement that Ricky Ponting is the worst captain of Australia in my lifetime.

I can’t speak for previous generations – but he’s not a patch on Waugh, Border, or Taylor (listed in order of captaincy nouse from least to greatest). He is a great batsmen – but if he can’t get his players to keep their heads, and their wickets, when the pressure is on, then he absolutely should not be leading the team.

He’s also terrible at managing his players, setting attacking fields, using his bowlers, and all the other rudimentary elements of captaincy. Unfortunately, like the Liberal Party, there doesn’t seem to be an obviously palatable replacement.

You may have noticed a lack of posts today. I have an excuse – scroll to the bottom of the page and check out the new, improved, footer.

I’ll be playing with it a little more as time allows (and I’m still trying to get archived pages to actually work).

I’m watching the cricket tonight. It’s the first night of cricket that I haven’t had something on the next day. It’s nice. Robyn’s asleep on the couch, the fish tank is bubbling away… so much serenity.

  1. I organised the Willows Presbyterian Church Calvin 500 Conference.
  2. I spoke at said conference about Calvin v Servetus
  3. I organised the dinner part of said conference (and made coffee) where Mike Raiter talked about the New Calvinism.
  4. I attended the Townsville 400 V8 Supercar Event
  5. When I wasn’t doing those things I was cleaning out my big fish tank after a mishap with the filtration killed three of my pet fish and endangered the life of a pet turtle.
  6. I was telling the national director of MTS why I like MTS but don’t think it’s for me.
  7. Or I was watching The Ashes and Robyn was using the laptop.

I love cricket. And I love the Ashes. I was surprised that it started so early last night, I thought it would all begin an hour later and I’d have to go to bed before lunch. But I managed to see a little bit of Hauritz bowling and couldn’t have been less impressed.

This article would be defamation if truth wasn’t a defence:

“And that is why when Nathan Hauritz bowls his right-arm spinners Australia is effectively one man down. Hauritz may as well pull a hamstring and sit the match out in the sheds. Such is the modern disregard for balls that spin into a right-hand batman, that only when pitches spit and scream can Hauritz rise above mediocrity.”

Important news

Nathan Campbell —  March 24, 2009

Threadless has extended the $5 sale until the end of March.

Three posts ago I hit 1,000 posts. I’ll do some sort of best of those 1,000 posts to celebrate in the next day or so. To me, every one of them is like a wicket for Glenn McGrath – I remember them all. Maybe.

Speaking of Cricket. Australia has an all rounder. A bowling all rounder. Mitchell Johnson. He’s from Townsville you know.

Here’s Roebuck’s view on Johnson’s all round credentials:

“Several of the batsman had fallen foul of Harris’s Disease, the name nowadays given to batsmen who suddenly play boneheaded shots against apparently innocuous spinners. Hereabouts the main topic on spectators’ tongues concerned the tourists’ ability to take the match into a fifth day.

The next hour was startling as the Australian’s launched a two-pronged attack. Johnson’s innings is etched in the memory. After a quite start, he hurried to 50 in 51 balls whereupon he raised the tempo sufficiently to reach three figures in 86 balls. He did not swipe. He did not depend on luck. Instead he produced a stream of swashbuckling strokes all around the wicket, executed with a free and full swing of the bat.

Some of his strokes stirred the cricketing soul. Johnson took the ball on the rise and dispatched it through extra-cover or he stayed still and smote lifters into the 10th row at deep mid-wicket. Without exception his pulls and hooks went forward of square. Some of them dashed past mid-on. Moving in for the kill, the South Africans tossed the ball to Makhaya Ntini and Dale Steyn. Even Jacques Kallis had a crack and he, too, was swiftly swamped.”

The other day I ran a little comparison of the writing styles of Peter Roebuck and Will Swanton. The Herald has gone one better. They’ve got them head to head in a debate on the referral system.

“Batsmen growling about referrals ought to be taken as seriously as bankers complaining about bankruptcy. Now, suddenly, the poor dears fear they might occasionally be given out leg before wicket. Not the least attraction of referrals is that it will reduce the blight of pad play, a negative tactic introduced by Poms incapable of reading Sonny Ramadhin. For decades pads have been used as a second line of defence. Gentlemen, the game is up. Now these blokes will have to use their bats.” – Roebuck

Day three had howlers everywhere. By the players, mostly. South African captain Graeme Smith and wicketkeeper Mark Boucher did not have the faintest clue what they were doing. Boucher kept crossing his arms in front of his face – let’s go to the video – but he kept getting it wrong. He ended up looking like an A-grade, card-carrying twit. Rules that make great players look like A-grade, card-carrying twits should be avoided. The players are the game, not the ICC. – Swanton

Gimmicks Pay

Nathan Campbell —  March 2, 2009

I”ve mentioned my feelings on Hawkeye in tennis umpiring – now technology is encroaching on cricket – for good or for not-so-good who can tell… in the meantime the failure of the system in South Africa has been a nice little earner for Channel Nine.

“On the controversial video umpire front, the Herald understands the South African Broadcasting Corporation will agree to pay a seven-figure sum to purchase the hot spot and snickometer technology – as used in Australia by Channel 9 – for the remaining two Tests.”

Roebuck v Swanton

Nathan Campbell —  February 28, 2009

The SMH’s two best cricket columnists go head to head today with accounts from the first test in South Africa. I’ve always been a fan of Roebuck – but I think Swanton is gaining the ascendancy as the Herald’s best cricket scribe. 

Sportswriting remains the one place in the English language where a penchant for wordplay, particularly for cliche, simile, metaphor and analogy delivered without apology – is not a curse but a blessing. 

Here are some examples from today:
Swanton:

“The overnight total was sneakily strong on a ground where you could bowl an apple and get swing and seam.”

“Michael Clarke came in, full of pep. Then again, Clarke could be stabbed in a dark Johannesburg alley and remain full of pep.”

Roebuck

“Despite encountering the daunting combination of Dale Steyn in full flight, a shaky score on the board and the sort of light featured in the more disreputable discos, North looked confident as he took guard. “

“From the outset the new man’s work on the leg-side was efficient. Anything heading towards his pads was neatly tucked with a bat as straight as a Roman road.”

“Given the chance to drive through the covers, he does so with an unexpected flash. Bending, he pushes his hands at the ball and dispatches with a bat as loose as a drunkard’s tie. It’s the only shot he does not control and the ball hurries away, sometimes off the meat, sometimes off the grizzle.”

On cricket

Nathan Campbell —  February 8, 2009

There have been a whole lot of posts around the internet about the predicament facing the Australian Cricket Team. Australia’s pre-eminent cultural institution. I have, until now, resisted throwing in my two cents. 

Much has been made over the departure of past heroes. The Gilchrists, Warnes, McGraths and now Haydens of this world are irreplacable. What makes me sad is that Australia has arguably the strongest domestic competition worldwide with imports kept to a minimum (they’re pretty much non existant – unlike county cricket in England) and young players being developed through government funded programs.

We really should be doing better at bringing young players into the national fold. Michael Hussey should have been in the national team years before the selectors got the balls to pick him. Same goes for Phil Jacques. Brad Hodge must surely feel like the unluckiest man in Australian cricket. Simon Katich has done what few have managed to do and resurrected his career from selector induced oblivion. 

Australia is blooding players too late. Debutants are often aged over 30 (eg 36 going on 37 year old spinner Bryce McGain) and longevity isn’t a possibility. Longevity and tenure has also been a problem. Half of these players retiring now are players I’ve watched my entire cricket watching life. The selectors need to be a little bold and courageous. Tenure needs to be an attitude of the past. Domestic players need to feel like they’ve got a real chance of breaking into the test team on the basis of performance. Underperforming veterans should be axed. We can’t afford to be sentimental about selections – any more than we are when voting for politicians. If there’s a better option there they need to be in the team.  

Michael Clarke’s decision to forego the big bucks in India to have some rest and focus on his international career is laudable. It’s a pattern that needs to be established on a wider level. Australian cricket will not survive at a test and 50 overs level if IPL dollars are the holy grail for up and coming cricketers.

Ricky Ponting is a terrible captain, but a terrific batsmen. This presents a terrible problem. How do you remove the captaincy mantle without slapping him in the face and having some effect on his batting.

That’s the batting side of things covered – our bowlers are in dire straits. They can not take a wicket. The lower echelons seem incapable of doing any better. We’ve seen about 6 no name players make inauspicious debuts this season. Who’d ever heard of Bollinger, Siddle or Hilfenhaus before they got a crack? And don’t get me started on spinners. How can there be such a scarcity of bowlers in the ranks? The quest for the perfect one day all rounder because of England’s ashes triumph on the back of Andy Flintoff has filtered down to the state level. Other than those players who made their test debuts this year can anyone name a bowler at state level? Didn’t think so.  How is Nathan Bracken, rated the world’s best one day player because of his economy rate, not suitable for a test berth? 

I also blame 20/20 cricket for the downfall.  But that’s another post for another time. End of rant.

Hit for headline writers

Nathan Campbell —  January 29, 2009

There’s a set formula for writing hackneyed cricket headlines that goes as follows:

“{Subject} hits {players name} for {six} or {actual figure based on the story}.”

You can alternate that with a passive voice format for variety. But very rarely should you ever leave that trusty formula completely. Unless you want to be interesting and engaging.

Case in point: CA hits Symonds for $4000

Ok, so I may be exaggerating- the SMH to its credit doesn’t have a whole lot of those. At the moment. But it’s such cliched headline writing.

Bird’s eye view

Nathan Campbell —  January 25, 2009

We’ve been watching a lot of tennis lately. Tennis is one of those games that you watch and find yourself thinking “it doesn’t look that hard” which progresses to “we should do that for a job.” The answer to those statements is “it is” and “we shouldn’t”. 

I did have tennis lessons as a child. I spent more time running punishment laps of the tennis court than holding a racquet – and subsequently don’t know my forehand from my forehead. Robyn is much more proficient when it comes to the skills involved but I’ve got the edge on brute strength and am prone to hitting the ball as hard as I can male, so we’re pretty evenly matched when we play. The Australian Open inspires a renewed vigour for the game every year – last year we bought racquets so maybe this year we’ll buy some sweat bands or something.

But I digress. I wanted to mention Hawkeye – which is an interesting case of technology driven by television companies being integrated into sport. Traditionally television companies interactions with sport have been to the detriment of tradition – eg World Series Cricket, Super League and 20/20 cricket.

Progress is not always good. Especially when it comes to eliminating human error in judicial administration of the rules of the game.

Cricket coverage lead the way in terms of calling umpire’s decisions into question – snicko, cricket’s hawkeye for LBWs, and hotspot – not to mention ultra slow motion repetitions of run out decisions.

The bane of Rugby League watching in recent years has been the time taken for video referee decisions.  

The desire for accuracy is in my mind an imperative based not on ensuring the players get a fair go – but insuring that the punters do. I mean punters in the literal “gambling” sense – not just fans. The amount of money riding on every game of professional sport could fund the bailout of a small financial institution so it’s increasingly important to get things right.

Robyn is all for Hawkeye in tennis – she says it encourages players to boldly aim for the lines – knowing they can make a challenge if a call doesn’t go the right way. I’m not sold, and neither it seems are the players. Particularly after hawkeye was thawrted by a bit of shade today.

Two final comments on this long post – firstly – did you know Hawkeye was invented by a man named Hawkins? I always thought the name was based on hawk’s legendary optic capacity and the fact that you’re getting a “birds eye view”. 

Secondly, I think Birdseye’s decision to sponsor Hawkeye was a brilliant piece of product endorsement. 

Here endeth the lesson.

I spy

Nathan Campbell —  January 3, 2009
Spy vs Spy

Spy vs Spy

This cartoon reminded me of a scene from NCIS the other night. It’s one of those TV shows I’ve probably under appreciated- the other being Bones. This post is largely about the things that I’ve been occupying my time with so far these holidays. I really like xkcd. I find their blend of stick figures and humour quite appealing.

I’ve been on holidays for a week now – or just over a week. My holidays thus far have consisted of time spent with family celebrating Christmas and having idiosyncratic family “moments” and the inevitable resolutions that follow. I’ve been filling the time reading books, and watching some cricket, and some Prison Break (series 3).

The cricket has been largely frustrating. Honestly, how our bowling attack seemingly duel handedly rested on the shoulders (how’s that for mixed metaphors) of Warne and McGrath for so long without our esteemed selectors doing any succession planning is beyond me. How can we be so devoid of bowling talent in a nation that prides itself on the depth of our domestic competition. I blame twenty20 or however they write the name of that abomination that causes desolation… anyway, I digress.

I’ve also managed to plow through a David Baldacci thriller. I don’t know about you – but I like my holiday reading to be pretty mindless. So “The Whole Truth” appealed to me much more than it did to the reviewer quoted on the Amazon page:

“Usually a sophisticated plotter, bestseller Baldacci (Absolute Power) offers a story line and villain on a par with an average James Bond film in what’s billed as his first international thriller. Nicholas Creel, the head of the Ares Corporation, a huge defense contractor, hires a perception management firm to start a second cold war by planting fake news stories on the Internet about Russian atrocities.”

Really it’s Wag the Dog for the Web 2.0 generation. Where once movie studios were used to create conflict for political gains – the protagonist in this novel employs blogs and youtube. I enjoyed it.

Not quite so mindless was the next holiday read – Final Theory. It’s like science fiction – only fiction about science, rather than the traditional sci-fi.

I find injustice in books slightly frustrating. When the central character is under unwarranted scrutiny or being mistreated by the “good guys” – the authorities. Which is what happens at the start Final Theory.

I watched the Get Smart movie last night for the first time. It was funny, and it’s the common thread that links the title with these other ramblings – other than the fact that they’re what I’ve been “spying” in the last few days. I enjoyed Get Smart.

I am in a little trouble though – I’m now almost at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the books I have to read during the holidays (and we’ve got a bit of flying and driving ahead of us with our New Zealand jaunt just around the corner). I walked around Angus and Robertson yesterday and was pretty uninspired. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Now I know my ABC

Nathan Campbell —  November 23, 2008

Sesame Street references aside – I happened to catch the end of the Australia v New Zealand test match this morning in the car. The hapless Chris Martin – the cricketer, not the Coldplay singer – is celebrated as one of the worst tail end batsmen ever to grace the game of cricket. Kerry O’Keefe is one of my favourite commentators in any sport, and he came up with this gem when addressing what Martin could do to fix his game:

“He should chisel a grip out of a surfboard. That’d increase his chance of getting a hit.”

Martin was clean bowled a ball later. Kerry O’Keefe also has the most annoying laugh on radio – and he often laughs at his own jokes. He’s still the only commentator, in my opinion, who approaches the greatness of Navjot Singh Sidhu – so popular in India his one liners are collated and known as Sidhuisms. One of my favourites was his description of a shot Tendulkar played off his tip toes:

“He played that like a dwarf at a urinal.”

It’s a shame today’s cricket was over so soon – I was looking forward to it occupying my until at least mid afternoon.