Foxtel’s Football commentator Simon Hill, in a piece assessing Luis Suarez’s goal line handball, suggests that the “communist” mechanism by which we assess and participate in sport is at the root of our misunderstanding of the game, and our failure to embrace it. Seems a little heavy handed really… I reckon our failure to embrace the game is linked to our failure to master it.
Many in Australia loathe football’s unpredictable nature – it plays havoc with their established order. In their sports – more communist by nature – only the strongest win by imposing their power on the weak. Sportsmen like Suarez wouldn’t get near their team – he is too small, too renegade, too individual.
In their communist world, draft picks and salary caps ensure everyone remains equal. Even bottom place on the ladder is rewarded by the party comrades, and of course, there is no promotion or relegation….everything must stay the same.
To them, toughness is a mantra. An indoctrination akin to political brainwashing, where the ability to give (or take) a punch is the sole measure of manliness. Not individual thought, nor creativity – just sheer brute force. It’s how communist regimes work.
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Is he talking about cricket? Oh no, he means rigby, or something. My personal theory – Australians haven’t embraced soccer as a spectator sport because it’s boring, no-one ever scores. Who wants to watch a gladiatorial contest in which the combatants never actually hit each other? But they embrace it as a sport to play in huge numbers, because its fun and you’re less likely to get killed playing it.