Listen up nerds. Westboro Baptist says God hates you

Nathan Campbell —  July 16, 2010

Everybody’s least favourite protest church is getting contempervant. First up, they’re targeting a comic convention. Because God apparently hates nerds, and super heroes are idols.


Picture credit: Kotaku’s coverage

“It is time to put away the silly vanities and turn to God like you mean it. The destruction of this nation is imminent – so start calling on Batman and Superman now, see if they can pull you from the mess that you have created with all your silly idolatry.”

The proof text on that sign, Romans 9:13, is a little bit odd. Apparently Esau was a nerd.

“Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”

This just shows a bizarre disregard for any description of Jacob (a mummy’s boy) and Esau from the Bible (Genesis 25).

Here’s a description of the two from Genesis:

“27 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. 28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”

Esau is an anti-nerd. It seems more likely that God loves nerds who stay at home quietly with their mothers. I’d go a step further and suggest that the Westboro Baptist crew, in their militant and confrontational approach to spreading the gospel, have embrace an Esau like approach to life. And thus they are damned by their own proof text.

I sent Westboro a letter to let them know. I’d hate for them to fall foul of accusations that they don’t know their Bibles very well…

“Hi guys,

I noticed your protest of the Comic Convention featured a sign “God Hates Nerds” citing Romans 9:13 as a text.

Romans 9:13 “Jacob I loved, Esau I hated” doesn’t really work when applied to nerds.

Esau was the least nerdy of the pair – in fact, Genesis’ description of the brothers (25:27-28) suggests that it was, in fact, Jacob who was the nerd. Jacob stays at home with mum (typical nerd behaviour) while Esau goes outside and hunts like a man.

“27 And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents.

28 And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.”

If you’re going to use scripture to back up your arguments at least do it properly.

Regards,

Nathan Campbell”

Other events that Westboro Baptist will be protesting in the near future include a Baseball game (God hates sport), and a Lady Gaga concert (God hates gender ambiguous costumed pop stars).

There schedule comes complete with this little parody of Hallelujah, perhaps Westboro’s attempt at contextualisation:

“Your God has seen what you have done. There’s nothing new beneath the sun. He’s sent a lying spirit down to fool you. We’ve seen your flags on your crumbling arch. Your filth is not a victory march. God hates your feasts and faithless Hallelujahs.”

On Gaga…

“Now what type of wicked hypocrites would we be if we did not warn this little false prophetess and all of her over-indulged sycophants that they are each one, individually heading straight to hell in a gender-confused, self-loathing, tone-deaf hand basket and that a gift from the God they hate?”

Thanks to my friend Mika for the tip.

Nathan Campbell

Posts

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His Daughter. Coffee. And the Internet. He is currently a student at the Queensland Theological College and a mercenary PR Consultant.

4 responses to Listen up nerds. Westboro Baptist says God hates you

  1. And Jacob may be the first biblical reference to a cosplayer.
    (Jacob’s action figure collection would have totally rocked, but imagine keeping them away from all his boys.)

  2. Damien Carson July 18, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Lucky for them that God loves vicious slanderers who objectify and judge outsiders (Num 31:34).

  3. It is so sad to see Christians completely going against Jesus’ philosophy of giving love and forgiveness to sinners in order to bring them back to God rather than accusing them.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. What do you get when you mix nerds and heretics? → St. Eutychus - July 24, 2010

    [...] ear­lier reported, the West­boro Bap­tists pick­eted a comic con­ven­tion this week. Which is pretty [...]