I probably won’t post much here in the next 24 hours. I’m trying to cut 2,000 words out of my essay on the wisdom literature. I got a bit carried away.
Here’s a paragraph that didn’t make the grade.
“The assumption that the permeation of foreign theology into Israel was a one-way osmosis is untenable in the light of the Biblical account. This idea, that foreign wisdom, and religious practices, seeped readily across Israel’s borders, but did not go both ways is not consistent either with the biblical account, especially the account of Solomon’s reign – our suggested key to unlocking the purpose of the wisdom literature.”
And by “our” I mean “my”…
And another off-cut:
“It seems that Israel was a participant in an international wisdom conversation, engaging in rich theological discourse both at home and abroad. This conversation was analogous to the conversation occurring in the pages of today’s peer-reviewed journals, serving to keep the nation of Israel focused on Yahweh despite the distractions of foreign gods, and offering a wisdom grounded firmly in the fear of the Lord to surrounding nations.”
Comments
I keep a document called “leftovers” so I can save all the parts that are unnecessary but I can’t bring myself to delete …
I’m glad osmaosis didn’t make it in because it is the incorrect word.
Osmosis is word when describing the diffusion of water, and only water. The word to describe everything else that moves from a high concentration to a low concentration, be it sodium, chloride, a fart or wisdom is DIFFUSION.
Wouldn’t want you to get marked down for bad semantics Nath (leigh would/should know what osmosis is).
Gav,
Osmosis must certainly have a metaphorical sense too, not just a technical sense. My use was an analogy.
Anika,
I would say that it’s a case of trying to fit an elephant into a mini, rather than verbosity. The only rhetorical flourish I use is a reference to the joke about the hunters who come across a pile of manure in the woods…
I dislike fourth week of semester because it is when one actually has to produce work rather than just basking in the glories of sitting and obtaining knowledge by osmosis…or diffusion or whatever.
I have a problem with verbosity in my essays too…but I must admit that 2000 words over is jaw-droppingly impressive. That must take almost bloody-minded verbosity.