Author: Nathan Campbell

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the pastor of City South Presbyterian Church, a church in Brisbane, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus. If you'd like to support his writing financially you can do that by giving to his church.

The Living Hills

What do you get if you recut the Sound of Music as a thriller?

If you want more Julie Andrews mashups – check out Scary Mary.

Via 22 Words.

A biblical guide to picking up girls…

Step 1. Hold around the waist.
Step 2. Lift.

No. That was a bad joke. This is a video promoting Song of Songs pick up lines. It looks like it features Ben Witherington IV (which I assume is what Ben Witherington III would name his son?). I really have no idea if it is. I made that up.

Bad Christian Rap…

Eww.

Double eww.

And umm. Again. Bad.

Found these on White People Rapping Poorly. Enjoy is probably the wrong word.

10 tips for hot Christian evangelism: A guide to missionary dating from a “hot Christian”

Oh. My. I hope this is satirical. I really do. From a website called Date to Save comes this list of tips for using your looks for the gospel.

From the site:

“Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.”

“So, I created this web page for information regarding the calling of Missionary Dating. First of all, it helps that you’re good looking. Romans 12:1 says “to offer your bodies as living sacrifices.” Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name, the Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He’s in our body, right? That’s the best position to be in!

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!”

Ten Tips for Hot Christian Evangelism
1. If he tells you that you are hot…
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand…
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer…
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you…
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you…
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you’re not ready to “speak in tongues”)

7. If he asks to come inside…
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you…
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won’t put out…
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean “Who would Jesus Do.”

10. After you dump him…
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

A collection of web 2.0 bits and bobs…

Mikey posted a bunch of reflections on the web and ministry the other day in a stream of consciousness bullet point diatribe. They’re tips that are worth reading – and a good perspective from somebody who is in ministry and thinking about how technology can be used as a platform for the gospel and for building relationships.

Blogs are definitely different now Part 1

Blogs are definitely changing now Part 2

Blogs are definitely changing Part 3

Blogs are definitely changing Part 4

Blogs are definitely changing Part 5

Once you’ve finished reading those and you’re all depressed about the internet and stuff…

I’ve recently started using Twitter heaps more. It seemed all I needed was a better app on my iPhone and the new Mac app. You can follow me @nm_campbell if you like. Let me know if you’re a Twit too.

I’m also getting close to having 100 fans on Facebook. Which is cool. I’ve started using that Facebook page to share links that I maybe once upon a time would have posted here (and possibly eventually will). These links appear on the top right of the blog proper, so if you’re a feed reader I suggest you join the masses and “like” St. Eutychus.

If you are a feed reader you might have noticed a bunch of new links on the bottom of feed items – these come courtesy of feedburner – you can now click a few different links to share stuff you like where you like. Isn’t that exciting. I like it when people share the stuff I’ve found. It somehow legitimises the time I waste on the Internet. So please do it.

And, I’ve installed a theme that I paid for (called Standard Theme) on my coffee blog and Venn Theology. I’m trying to decide whether or not to install it here too. Check them out. Especially my coffee blog – thebeanstalker.com. I’m pretty happy with it.

That is all.

Lyrical Flowcharts

I’ve posted a couple of lyrical flow charts before. There’s a Hey Jude one I’m quite fond of, and 22 words posted one for Total Eclipse of the Heart today. And XKCD put this one together recently…

But these video versions take them to a whole new level.

Cello v Cello: Smooth Criminal on strings

This is cool.

Fun on the farm

We spent the weekend helping out on the farm. For those who missed it – my in-laws are on a property outside Dalby that flooded twice in the last month. The flood destroyed a crop – and a bunch of stuff that was kept in storage around the place, some electrical bits and pieces in the sheds, but mercifully spared one crop and the house.

The crop that didn’t fare so well presented a problem – it doesn’t really have any value, and is now in the way. The good side of the flooding is that all the soil on the farm has a full water profile (which means it’s wet to about ten inches or something and great for growing stuff). Farmers these days like to plant on top of the stubble of the old harvest because that provides nutrients for the new crop. To cut a long story short – the decision was made to burn the old crop (which actually didn’t go so well – it didn’t want to burn) before it turned out that it was actually fairly easy to take the planter through the ruined canary, planting new stuff over the top of it. The canary should shed its seeds on the field – which will then grow next winter…

Our biggest job while we were there was moving the massive centre pivot irrigator from one field to another.

Your Weekly Facebook Infographic: Facebook v Twitter

This is a little old. But it’s an interesting comparison. At one point Farmville had more users on Facebook than the entire Twitterverse.

Via Walyou.

Clean water for India + Free Indian Coffee = Good equation

Hey. Dave Miers has almost raised $2,000 to give clean water to Indian children. Which is a fantastic use of an online platform.

There’s about $190 to go for him to hit that target – so why don’t you help. My dear readers. And here’s an extra special deal which I announced here yesterday. If you give more than $30 to this cause I will give you some Indian Coffee. Roasted with love.

I just ordered 6kg of the beans – and I’d be more than happy to up that order if the threshold is well and truly cleared.

These beans are exceptional (and a little bit scary to roast – I don’t do them often because they’re extra dry and I almost burned the house down once).

Here’s a little about the beans I’m roasting from ministrygrounds:

“Gregory Joseph Coelho, the patriarch of the Coelho family, founded the Silver Cloud Estates in The Nilgiris in the early 20th Century and made coffee growing a family tradition.

The legacy is now carried on by his son V.G. Coelho who set up Coelho Coffee Exports to export monsooned coffee, after The Coffee Board had formally liberalized its hold on speciality coffee exports.

The coffee beans are sourced from the Coelho plantations which are situated in a hilly range called the Western Ghats with ideal conditions for the growth of coffee. The beans are of the finest quality.

During processing, they are exposed to monsoon winds where they develop a pale golden color and acquire a distinctive taste. Monsooned Malabar has a low acidity and is exceptionally smooth, full bodied with pleasant Chocolate under tones.”

Wikipedia has more about the monsoon processing:

“Whole crop cherry coffee are selected and sun-dried in expansive barbecues. The dried beans are cured and sorted into ‘AA’ and ‘A’ grades, after which, they are stored in warehouses till the onset of monsoon. From June through September, the selected beans are exposed to moisture-laden monsoon winds in well-ventilated warehouses (12 to 16 weeks time). The monsooning process involves careful handling, repeated spreading, raking and turning around in regular intervals. The beans absorb moisture and get significantly large, turning into pale golden in colour. Further micro-sorting is done to separate fully monsooned beans, and then the world gets to taste the finest monsooned coffees. Absolutely pure and mellow to the core.”

Want to try them? Give generously to help more Indian children to grow up so that more awesome coffee can be produced (not to mention all the love you’ll be showing to people you’ve never met across the world). It’s classic win/win.

Hey guess what. I started another blog

I figured it was time to put all my blogging talk into action. This one even has ads. I’ve picked a niche (coffee) and I’m out there to see just how much free stuff running a coffee blog can score me (I heard Izaac’s Pixar blog scored him free DVDs).

Plus it’s fun having a purpose when you go to cafes. And it makes all that time spent reading about coffee seem worthwhile.

Here it is. It’s called thebeanstalker.com. Add it to your feed reader. Tell your friends. Tell them to tell their friends. There has been a little bit of original content over there already – but expect to see some of my coffee posts from here posted there, and good stuff from there occasionally posted here.

Money for something, and your kicks for free

Dave Miers is raising money so that kids can drink clean water in India. You should help him meet his target of $2,000. He’s got $600 left. For one day only – if you donate money to his fundraising cause and tell me (I’ll check) I’ll send you 250gm of freshly roasted coffee for every donation of $30 or more. I’ll even buy and roast some Indian Coffee for the occasion.

Here’s the direct link to the donation page. Here’s the link to a post on his blog.

I think it’s a good cause, and I’m happy to support it. I do like the poetry of supporting clean water in India by offering to dirty yours.

How Facebook Works

It’s true.

From Tastefully Offensive.

Crying over cheap milk

A long long time ago I posted about milk prices. I suggested they were too high. Or that people should complain about them, rather than about the price of petrol. Milk, is, afterall, completely renewable.

Pure Milk
Image Credit: Flickr

Now. I know farmers work hard to earn a living. And I hate that their prices are essentially controlled by our retail duopoly. And I know the margins are pretty low in milk farming because they are being, no pardoning of this pun, milked for every drop.

But I don’t share the dairy lobby’s angst when it comes to the price of milk (see another story where they call price drops “un-Australian”) in Coles and Woolworths (Update: Franklins and Aldi have joined the price war).

The supermarkets are having a price war. So what. This happens all the time in retail. But when it comes to milk, and the price of milk, this is a useful pawn in an economic game. Milk prices are determined by a contractual arrangement. And the contracts are up for renegotiation soon. That’s all these calls to boycott Coles and Woolies milk are. And they’re a little dumb.

Using milk as a loss leader to attract customers (and promising that they’ll wear the costs of dropping the price, rather than the farmers). Now, I am all for lobby groups looking to protect their interests. That’s how capitalism works. So I think it’s great that the dairy guys are out their suggesting Coles and Woolworths won’t wear the cost of a price drop for long. But this argument kind of misses the point of loss leading.

I’m sure the big two would love to have the farmers making no profit on their labours at all – but what they wouldn’t like – is for all the milk farmers to go out of business at once. Leaving them with no supply. Loss leading is essentially a marketing tactic, and I’d hope (perhaps naively) that the cost of dropping the price of milk to $1 a litre, is coming from the marketing side of the supermarket budget, rather than the procurement side. Choosing a staple product like milk to fight with a competitor who in just about every sense offers an identical product is a great move.

Unless there are farmers out there who like selling their milk at below cost (and already the lobby groups seem to be making noise about that being unsustainable) – I’d say the big two will wear the costs for so long as it is making them money to do so. There is no benefit to them if the milk industry dries up. There is benefit to them if they steal market share off one another. They’re targeting each other. Not the farmers. Obviously they want to cut down their overheads as much as possible – but it’s not a particularly sustainable business practice to be running your suppliers out of business in a price war. The whole idea of a loss leader is that they lose money there because nobody just goes to the Supermarket to buy milk, but they might pick one supermarket above the other if their milk is cheaper. It’s marketing. The money to do this probably comes out of a marketing budget.

If they figure out how much they’ll lose selling milk at below cost for a year (say 30c a bottle) and how much profit they’ll make per customer gained, across their whole basket or trolley of goods (say $50) then it’s a pretty simple question to answer… the idea that this will be passed on down the chain is a bit odd – especially since it’s only on their branded lines and the prices of the other, no doubt more popular milk (based on observation at the fridge in the supermarket) have not changed (as far as I know). This is just two companies trying to one up each other to get customers through the door. It’s marketing.

How to fight this battle
Calling giving the average Australian a bargain “un-Australian” is not a winsome PR strategy. It looks like whinging and whining. If the milk lobby really wants to fight against these chains, if they really want to hurt the supermarkets, they should team up with butchers and greengrocers and urge people not to boycott Coles and Woolies milk, but rather to embrace this as a chance to hit them in the hip pocket. If you want to punish them for being “Un-Australian” you should be encouraging people to snap up the cheap milk and buy nothing else from them in protest. The milk industry should embrace this as an opportunity for people to rediscover the joy of drinking milk. Start promoting making milkshakes at home. And then encourage people to get their veggies from a fruit market and their meat from a butcher – and see how long this lasts.

Coffee Out the Nose Funny: David Thorne’s American snow trip adventure

There are very few things in this world that are genuinely laugh out loud funny when you’re reading them in your head. David Thorne’s delightfully nasty bits of revenge, posted online for the world to see, are up there with the best of them.

David went to a ski shop in the US. The service was less than adequate. The gloves he purchased, that he was assured were waterproof, were not. They got wet, and the black ink that provided their ebony colour ran. And it ran all over his jumper. And when he went back to exchange them the staff abused him. So this is what he did:

The store received 5,000 calls enquiring about the free snowboard. And this email exchange ensued.

It was at this point in the exchange that coffee shot through my nostrils:

“I should probably be thankful that your staff were too occupied with having their earlobes stretched by Tonka-truck tyres and wearing pants around their knees to sell me a snowsurfingboard made of sugar or goggles made of bees.”

Or perhaps this point:

“Also, I apologise. While the average male height of 5″9 statistically means anything under is considered short, my question was without diminutive intention. I’m sure there are many advantages to being so small. Target carries an excellent range of boys clothing at competitive prices and a lower centre of gravity should, once helped up onto the ski-lift, allow you to snowboardsurf with greater stability. If I were small, I would buy a cat and ride it.”

There is, as is often the case with Thorne’s work, a language warning attached. It didn’t end all that well. Thorne punctuated the exchange with this: