Appendix A – World Map
Appendix B – List of insignificant countries (or landmasses)
A hard squeeze on that trigger and you’ll have sauce flying all over the room, it’ll make home movies featuring tomato sauce fueled bloodbaths easier to produce – taking out one of the editing steps between gun shot and gaping wound.
Speaks for itself really. Particularly if you harness its awesome powers to write words with your sauce.
One of the lesser known perks of my job is the number of promotional pens I receive – I’m not at med student levels – but I certainly receive enough to keep me jotting down notes all year round.
Or at least I would, if people weren’t always stealing them from my desk. It’s enough to give one a dash of pen rage. This set will stop them… They’re designed by World Wide Fred – and available from Perpetual Kid.
Some clever little cookie decided that “spam” was a label too ubiquitous to be applied to all junk email, and so bacn was born. It’s like bacon and is a lunchmeat enthused pun. Of sorts. It’s a catchall label used to describe solicited advertisements, newsletters and well targetted email campaigns.
Microsoft this week announced that something like 97% of all email traffic is spam. They don’t make the bacn distinction as far as I’m aware. But I do. So I’m choosing to allow spam comments that fit into the bacn category – like two shirt sites that commented on my last post about SnorgTees – that’s nice. It shows initiative. And NerdyShirts even offered a 10% discount.
You could buy this topical masterpiece…
Or an Eastery theme – this one’s called “The Last Supper“…
Rizzo Tees offered no discount – but proferred a link to their site claiming Snorg was an “inspiration”… here are some of their shirts. Starting with one particularly on topic…
I can relate. I lost 20 subscribers yesterday. Gone. Who knows where… not that I’m checking.
And a ninja shirt….
And one about coffee for good measure (provided you get the size right…boom boom…)
See… not only will a well placed and relevant spam comment get noticed – it’ll earn you a post in these parts.
When things go wrong
Responding to a crisis as a leader is a three-step process. You need to blame shift, punish and move on, and you need to do it fast. As a ruler you need to maintain the appearance of infallibility. To do this you always need to have a scapegoat handy, preferably a willing, dedicated scapegoat, preferably a goat. Appoint a goat as your undersecretary and whenever anything goes wrong you can have a ritual goat sacrifice, hire a new goat and get back to the business of running your empire. It’s always a good idea to hire a mute goat, you don’t want them bleating out all your secrets in a bid to get their head off the chopping block. That way forging written confessions is easy. The goat can’t verify anything, and you’re in the clear.
If crises are occurring too regularly it may be that you aren’t delegating enough, be prepared to let go of a little control, it will make blame shifting easier in the long run, and if an underling makes a grab for too much power you can easily crush them using the blame shift, punish and move on method.
What now?
So, you’ve conquered all, you’re at the pinnacle of human civilisation. You’ve erected statues to honour your achievements. You’ve named cities after yourself. Rock stars make an effort to perform at your charity bashes, for free. What do you do now? It’s like buying a birthday present for a man who has everything, you spend ages agonising about what to get him and then you capitulate and buy him something that he’s already got lots of, like hankies. When it comes to taking over the world your options are much the same, you can, if the thought grabs you, try to take over other planets, stake your claim there, try to be the human master of the universe. Or you can give in to the one great truth. Everyone, sooner or later, dies. So spend the rest of your life trying to come to terms with that. No matter how much you achieve your going to die, and you can’t take it with you. Now if you’re anything like Attila the Hun, you’re going to want to eat your children because they sure don’t deserve your empire, but lets face it, no one deserves your empire. My advice is, write a book about how you managed to achieve what you achieved, sell everything and go and live in a cave somewhere as a hermit. Or try to return to normal life in normal society and when people come running up to you for autographs be polite and sign them, it doesn’t take too much effort, and who knows, maybe one day they’ll be the ruler of the world and you’ll need a favour.
Interesting interview with an atheist by the Centre for Public Christianity published on the ABC website.
You can put a USB connection on just about anything – even an amputated finger – and there are so many USB devices around that the “universal” is becoming a literal description rather than an indication of ubiquity. Here’s ten USB devices that should never have been made. Let alone sold.And where to buy them.
WowWee™ Chatterbots are fantastically fun animated computer accessories to have on your desktop. These collectable, highly stylized character figurines always have something to say about what you are up to — and it’s not always appropriate! Each Chatterbot™ features a unique personality and a signature animation. Connect directly to your Mac or PC using the included USB cable, then listen and watch as your Chatterbot entertains you with its unpredictable stream of jokes, dialog, and comments about your virtual life.
And an image…
I like good bus stop ads. I admit it. I think they’re great. Especially when they take the form of novel installation art. Like this bus stop ad with a fish tank featuring live fish, advertising an aquarium product manufacturer…
It’s nice when online T-Shirt vendors like SnorgTees keep up with modern pop culture references – like Flight of the Conchords songs.
Also cool, and also from SnorgTees is this ninja shirt.
When you make a long awaited purchasing decision only to have the thing you bought immediately superseded. It used to happen to me all the time when musicians put out bonus CDs after the original release of their new work, and it could well happen in coming months with the iPhone.
It has happened with Facebank. And I am heartbroken.
Post modernity spawned a bunch of meta art – art about art, books about books, pizzas featuring mini pizzas…
It’s the room full of mirrors effect where your image stretches out to eternity being repeated an infinite number of times… A celebration of infinite recursion. And it’s epitomised by this mouse. A mouse mouse. Found here. From instructables.
If yesterday’s crazy PUMA was a Segway on steroids then today’s variation on the theme is a Segway on Tetrahydrogestrinone. It’s a wearable Segway. Essentially. And it’s designed for amputees or the very lazy. It’s called “the Chariot”… original nomenclature.
This one is mostly for those of you reading here in Townsville. Although little sister number 3 has already put her hand up for some hand delivered service on our next southern sojourn.
I have a few kilos worth of green beans, a new breadmaker, a new heatgun and four days of “leisure” time coming up – if anybody would like to purchase some roasted coffee for a fraction of the price you’ll pay in stores – let me know in the comments.
I’ll sell roasted beans for $5 per 250 grams (including a fancy zip lock bag) – and I’m happy to offer this as a regular service if you like them.
I will grind it for you if you like – but suggest if you want coffee pre-ground you get them in much smaller batches.