This is brilliant in so many ways, and on so many levels, starting with the gardening by power tool, finishing with one loon telling off another loon for being a loon. William Tapley v Harold Campling. Gold.
Category: Christianity
Things are better in κοινη
One of the great things about being a Bible college student is Bible college jokes make sense. Apologies to all my non Bible College readers for this one…
My friend Canadian Mitch sent me this. He has a photo blog, you should check it out.
Also. If you are a college student (particularly a first year at QTC) starting to stress about exams – check out my college resources page, I posted heaps of exam prep stuff last year.
A trillion dollar tip
To say I’m not a fan of the Way of the Master evangelism methodology is an understatement. The name is misleading – unless by “Master” they mean Kirk Cameron or Ray Comfort. Because Jesus didn’t evangelise the way they suggest you evangelise. I share their enthusiasm for the great commission, and for looking for opportunities to evangelise, but to suggest that all proclamations of the gospel should begin with a proclamation of the predicament that requires the gospel is a little misleading (check out their “how to botch an altar call” article.
I don’t like their methodology. I’d say that for every one person they lead to the cross they’ve turned away significantly more by the way they present the message. They’re seasoned with hot chilli, rather than salt.
And perhaps the bit I don’t like most of all is their money tract. Used by cheap Christians instead of tipping all over the US. It’s products like this trillion dollar bill that make me glad I don’t live in the states, because I can’t imagine having to try explaining the lack of monetary tip to the waitress who has done a great job of serving a customer only to be left one of these in the place of actual money:


You can’t pay for your groceries with one of these – and yet there are bozos out there (and I’ve spoken to a few Christian waitstaff who have been given these) who leave these as a substitute for a tip. Perhaps because they’ve actually bought each Trillion Dollar Bill for $5. Here. Buy some of my fake money for $5. That’s a get rich quick scheme.
Ray Comfort suggests that this note is actually a “light hearted way to get the message across” – which it could potentially be, if the message on the back was an invitation to start building a relationship with a church that teaches about Jesus. Instead the blurb on the back reads:
“The trillion-dollar question: Will you go to Heaven when you die? Here’s a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God’s name in vain? Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell.”
That’s the opening. Now. It’s all true. And they do get to Jesus. Eventually – but who is going to keep reading? I know one guy who was converted reading some tracts, but only after he’d spent so much time with the lady who gave them to him that he thought “maybe I should read that stuff she gave me”…
Here’s where the blurb goes next.
“God, who the Bible says is “rich in mercy” sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for guilty sinners. We broke God’s Law, but Jesus paid our fine. That means He can legally dismiss our case. He can commute our death sentence: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Then He rose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and God will grant everlasting life to all who trust in Jesus. Then read your Bible daily and obey it.”
God loves you. He paid the price. Turn to Jesus. Trust and obey. Great. That’s the gospel. (though it does have huge potential to become pretty legalistic, doesn’t it? Is daily Bible reading really required for those who trust in Jesus?).
There is just so much wrong with the strategy behind this. It completely fails to understand the importance of medium in presenting a message. It’s just awful. How any Christian can not see how important and related medium and message are when we worship the Lord Jesus, God’s word become flesh, is beyond me. If that’s not a case of medium and message being all wrapped up together I don’t know what is.
The problem isn’t just “strategic” – in reacting against something bad (sloppy presentations of an “all loving God”) these guys have gone to the other extreme. And I’d like to see a passage in the Bible where Jesus deals with an outsider by treating them as an outsider. I’m writing an exegesis paper on the story of Zacchaeus today, where a corrupt outcast meets Jesus, who doesn’t turn to him and say “Zacc, you’re a horrible sinner and you must repent before I’ll have anything to do with you.” No. He says: “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” And then Zacchaeus responds by repenting. I just don’t get the “way of the master” part of the act of handing out fake money that tells people they’re going to Hell.
A fishy Sunday School lesson
There are no words to describe just how bad this idea is.

It’s as bad as that joke that goes:
Joker: Did you hear about the guy who killed all the [disliked minority group] and one clown?
Other person: Why the clown?
Joker: See, nobody cares about [disliked minority group]
Via Reddit.
Godly music v ungodly music…
It’s important to know the difference. Apparently. Saxophone jazz is out. Saxophone muzak is in. Because it’s important that church sounds like an elevator.
You know the song “Heart and Soul” that every kid plays on the piano – it’s out. It’s a “Boogie-woogie” song, and thus unsuitable for gospel/worship music. Because it makes the body want to dance.
Arguing with Strawmen: Literally, not figuratively
I am aware of the danger of arguing with strawmen. But these guys have silly noses, and the idea that you get sick if you don’t pray enough is so stupid that they’ve earned their place in the St. Eutychus hall of YouTube Shame.
The origins of a fake Martin Luther King Quote
One day post the demise of OBL and the social media streams are still flooding with reactions. It’s pretty amazing to sit back and watch. My own contributions to the discussion was to question the merits of the “burial at sea” and to suggest that I would be using the responses of my friends to place them on some sort of political spectrum.
Oh. And. I posted this clip from Four Lions.
The “Christian” response to the death of the globe’s most infamous terrorist has been pretty startling and interesting, and probably more to do with one’s political persuasions than convictions about human life. A concern for human life, and its dignity, is what drives the fight against terrorism (or the “war against an abstract noun”) – so it is not necessarily anti-life to celebrate the demise of one committed to ending other lives.
I’ve enjoyed some of the more moderate responses too – Kevin De Young and Doug Wilson’s in particular…
I do sometimes yearn for more crazy friends with crazy conspiracy theories. I have a couple. Hey guys. Thanks. If you’re reading. But on the whole my newsfeed was leaning conservative on Facebook and lefty on Twitter. Odd. There’s not a huge overlap between who I follow on each. Anyway. One of the quotes that started springing up from my less gung-ho friends was this quote attributed to Martin Luther King.
“”I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.” – Martin Luther King, Jr”
That’s the abridged version. The full version is here…
“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Now, the excerpt is completely bogus. It’s not anything MLK ever said. See this story from The Atlantic. The second half is legit. It’s an actual quote. So how did the first bit get tacked on? It seems it was a case of Facebook Whispers. Here is the thread that apparently started the viral ball going (according to Reddit).

Here’s the legit bit:
“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that” – MLK Jr, Where Do We Go from Here : Chaos or Community?
Somebody missed the quotation marks in the middle when transmitting the quote, and the rest, as they say, is fake history.
“The problem with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they’re attributed correctly.” – Abraham Lincoln
Let the social media fun continue, slightly abated…
“Yoof” Videos that don’t suck
I just spent the weekend at Y-Net – a great camp for Queensland Christians interested and involved in youth and children’s ministry. It reminded me (when I wasn’t cooking or making coffee) that finding good videos on YouTube is probably just as important as finding the dross I normally dig up.
I quite enjoyed this one – though I’m not sure how well it translates to the Australian market.
Also good, and powerfully compelling, is this Brian Head Welch testimony, he’s the ex-guitarist of the band Korn.
We need more grungy Australian Christians with sordid pasts.
Anybody got a good video I should add to my collection of good videos? Snakes in the bathtub and Friday parodies won’t cut it this time… (though if you have something like that, send it to me…)
The Dr Seuss Gospel
There’s some space in this concept for this to actually be quite clever. I can’t tell if it’s made by an irreverent Christian or some comedy show.
The Back from the Dead Intruder
One can only hope this was produced for some sort of “make a parody of a YouTube hit with a Christian message” competition. And not because these people thought “hey, you know what the world needs – a Christian version of the Bed Intruder song”…
That’s the danger of parodies. It’s really hard to interpret them in context if none is provided. But enough people thought this was a good idea that they volunteered to be part of it…
Via Scotteriology.
Thou shalt not listen to rock’n’roll
It’s almost a year since I discovered the wonders of Jacob Aranza’s Backwards Masking Unmasked. If you’ve missed the anti-rock paranoia of those heady days, here’s a “sermon” for you.
It’s Good Friday, Good Friday, kicken back on Good Friday
I may or may not have internet access between now and Sunday. So in the meantime. Enjoy Easter. Send me chocolate.
An Easter stunt I won’t be pulling tomorrow…
Ahh. Good Friday. The day, unlike all the other days of the Christian life, where we pay attention to the death of Jesus. Oh. Wait.
I am preaching. Preaching on the cross is interesting, because finding a new angle is hard.
This guy, in his pre-Easter sermon, decided to have a rant about how people who visit church just at Easter time dress. And then he decided to climb in a baby pool to keep preaching.
Skip through to 4 minutes 40 for the pool bit. He stays there for the rest of his sermon.
For more interesting reasons, from the Greek, that this guy is an idiot. Read this Scotteriology post.
