An answer on baptism

Anyone following my current scammer saga will know I’ve been pressing friend Michel on his position on baptism. Today he answered, but it wasn’t enough. I am seeking clarification for your edification. Here is his response:

Dearest Daddy Nathan,
 
How are you doing today. I am still really dont understand what you mean by baptism but I beleive baptism is a sign of forgiveness of sin. Everything I told you about me and my inheritance is truth and nothing but the truth, god is my witness. As I said earlier, I do not have any money with me now and that was why I am very worried to make sure we claim the consignment from the security company so that you will send me some money immediately you receive the consignment and deposit the money into your account. I will provide you the pictures holding a card bearing the words “John 3:16 as a sign of my trust and confidence in you but that should be when you receive the consignment and send me some money because at the moment, I dont have money to pay a photographer considering the fact my present situation here. Please be rest assured that the consignment will delivered to you as soon as the change of ownership are made in your name as my foreign trustee.

No money to pay a photographer. This is unacceptable to me. I am very concerned. Perhaps friend Michel is trying to, how do you say, “take me for a ride…”

Michel, 

Thankyou for responding. I was starting to worry. So much that I did a little research on the internet after my friend’s warnings. 
I am a little concerned. I would hate to be caught up in some sort of plot to steal my money. But I believe that you, a Christian, and my son in Christ Jesus, would not lie to me. This is why I ask for this photo. If I know that you are prepared to find a photographer to produce a photo on my request I will know that you are legitimate. 
Thank you for answering my question about baptism – I’m sorry it confused you. I was asking about your view on whether children should be baptised – I believe this is a key theological issue. It will be easier for me to trust you if I know you are a true believer. So can you tell me what you think on that matter? And can you also tell me what is your favourite verse from the Bible. 
I know you’ve said you don’t have any money at the moment – but I have an idea. I will write to the security company to organise a viewing for you of the box (on my behalf). When you are there you should be able to remove some cash. 
My accountant monitors my spendings closely and I do not think I can send you any spare money at this stage. I will need to find some excuse to withdraw a significant amount to help you out. 
I will contact the security company – who have also asked me to contact a lawyer – and wait for your answers and the photo. I can’t stress how important this photo is to me. I don’t want to leave you in danger – but equally I don’t want to be caught out in some sort of international fraud. I need this photo.
Now, I must go, I have a letter to write to the security company.

May 28, 2009

Mixed metaphors

May 28, 2009

ClosedID

Ok, I have heard your feedback (or lack thereof) and turned off the OpenID plugin. I assume that’s what’s stopping all of you commenting. Go crazy. Go nuts. Go crazygonuts. Comment away. To your heart’s content. All barriers to you sharing your feedback (except my scathing critical wit) have been removed.

May 28, 2009

Common sense prevails

The ISP filter has been scaled back from any black listed items to just Refused Classification content – which some people have argued was their policy all along (particularly one debate on Craig’s blog. It may well have been – but that was poorly communicated. Here’s the SMH story.

“Communications Minister Stephen Conroy has long said his policy would introduce compulsory ISP-level filters of the Australian Communications and Media Authority’s blacklist of prohibited websites.

But he has since backtracked, saying the mandatory filters would only block content that has been “refused classification” (RC) – a subset of the ACMA blacklist – amid widespread concerns that ACMA’s list contains a slew of R18+ and X18+ sites, such as regular gay and straight pornography and other legal content.”

I’m a lot less worried about that – it seems to be much more transparent than the previously stated policy. I’m sure my freedom loving friends will still have problems, as do the Australian Christian Lobby. Nice work guys…

“The lobby’s managing director, Jim Wallace, wants the Government to introduce legislation forcing internet providers to block adult and pornography material on a mandatory basis, in addition to illegal content. Australians would then have to opt in to receive legal adult material.”

That sounds nice. It really does. Pornography is a blight on society. And it would be nice to protect vulnerable people (particularly vulnerable Christians) from its insidiousness. But. It isn’t really up to Christians to make the laws in a country where we are in the minority (despite the number of people ticking the Christian box on the census). Why should we expect those given over to sinful desires (which is surely how the Bible describes the state of non-Christians) to conform to a Christian standard of living?

May 28, 2009

Daddy-O

Friend Michel wrote a second email overnight – advising me that I am to contact the security company that holds his secret stash. So secret that even his potential killers – apparently his uncles – do not know about it.

Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Please I want you to know that the consignment is still with the security company where my late father deposited it. The security company does not know that the box contains money because when my late father was depositing the trunk box that contains the money with Security Company, he makes it look like the trunk box contains Art Craft / Family Valuables. He did this to protect the money from his greedy business partners and wicked relatives in case anything happens to him. Now they have sucided to poison him to death, I become an orphan and since the sudden death of my father, my uncles have seized all my father’s properties including my father’s only personal account where I get money for my daily upbringings.

Lying to a bank? That can only end in tears. But his uncles do sound nasty. He also wants me to visit him in his home country.

I would also want to know if you will be available to come here in my country cote d’ivoire to meet me in person so that both of us will go to the ministry to get the legal documents and submit to the security company for processing of the change of ownership in your name for easy delivery of the consignment to you. Pls If your work will not permit you to come here, I will negotiate with an attorney to know how we can get those documents on our behalf and submit them to the security company.

But first, I must contact the security company and introduce myself – but by no means should I reveal the box contains money.

I think maybe, just maybe, I will let that little tidbit slip, and then try to cut a deal with the banker for a 20% cut of the contents.

Anyway, I wrote to Mr Duke, the security company manager.

Dear Mr Duke,

I am writing to inform you that I am the legal guardian of an account holder within your institution.

Michel has urged me to call you on the telephone – unfortunately I would prefer my dealings with him, and you, to be treated under the strictest confidence. As I’m sure you understand. I will not be calling you by phone. This is not possible. But please understand that I am who I say I am.

I have attached a copy of the deposit certificate for a collection of family trinkets you have in your secure deposit facility. The item is a metal trunk. I will be organising the withdrawal of this deposit box on behalf of my son, Michel.

Please, can you advise me what documents I must fill in in order to change the ownership of this deposit from the name of my charge to my name.

May 28, 2009

My new son?

Things are progressing nicely with my friend Michel. In his latest missive he has adopted me as a surrogate father. He writes:

Dearest Daddy,

Word alone cannot tell how happy I am to hear that you are born again christian and I am proud to call you daddy. According to your mail, I was born and brought out from a christian family and my late father was one the founders of Catholic Charismatic Renewal Ministry Cocody and it was due to how good my late father are to his people that made his business partners to poisoned him to death.

A Catholic Charismatic? Shock horror. We are doctrinally incompatible. However will we overcome this barrier – we are as two star crossed lovers destined ne’er to meet due to our bitter family feud… if there’s one thing I learned from Shakespeare in highschool (and through having his entire library of works on my iPhone – how cool is that) it’s that insurmountable odds can be overcome, but they often end in death. The next passage gave rise to new hope.

Please be rest assured that the money is my inheritance from my late father because my late father made his money in my country cote d’Ivoire as an exporter / import of Cocoa / caffee and it was out of wickedness and jealousyness his business associates poisoned him to death, I become an orphan, helpless at this age. Please I want you to know that I contact you to help me because I beleive you are capable to assist me live the type of live my late parents earlier planned for me and I want you to know that I never contact you to help me in other to put you in any kind of troubles

His father was a coffee trader. We are joined forever by the fellowship of the bean. I may try to purchase his family’s coffee interests with my generous 15% share of the deal. Which is currently valued at $7.5 million.

He signed out in a manner which was no doubt designed to establish his spiritual bona fides.

Thanks and god bless you for your kind and sincere promises to help me. May our almighty god in heaven reward you and your family aboundantly for the help you are rendering to an orphan like me.

He possibly wasn’t expecting my response:

Thank you for your email – I am glad to hear your father was a believer – that surely makes his passing an easier burden for you to bear.

I hope that you too are a believer – it pays to be right with our maker, especially if there are dangerous people trying to kill you!

I do notice that you haven’t answered my question about baptism. My friends, who are much better with technology, are advising me that you may be trying to commit an act of fraud against me. I tell them that that is not true. I have not given them any information about our transaction. I have simply told them that I will not be available during this week as I seek to conclude our business. I trust you – I believe that you are in all honesty a God fearing man who knows that to act dishonestly will lead to God’s fiery judgment.

My children have made me slightly concerned – what sort of father would I be were I not to listen to my friends – I hope to soon count you as a friend too.

Could you, my son, do three things to verify that you are indeed who you say you are – could you provide a picture of yourself holding a card bearing the words “John 3:16”. Which I think will be an appropriate proof that you are who you say you are – both as a person, and as a Christian.

Could you also tell me what you believe about baptism. This is more important to me than you will understand at your age. When you get to an age like mine you will understand that some issues become important and defining.

And can you tell me what your favourite part of the Bible is – this will, indeed, help to develop the trust between us.

Any photo will of course be shared here.

May 28, 2009

A bunch of links – May 27, 2009

May 27, 2009

Humble pie co

I subscribed to an atheist blog recently – just to see how the other side thinks. It’s called “the friendly atheist” and if this guy and his commenters are the “friendly” side of atheism I’m not looking forward to the unfriendly side. They’re generally sneeringly intolerant and arrogant – probably just what they say about most “Christians” (I put that in inverted commas because I’m talking about anybody who calls themselves a Christian)…

But this post is all about “questions which stump atheists” – the answer, from about 70 comments is “not much, we know everything”… and “Christians are dumb”… my favourite bit is where one commenter suggests his fellows eat some humble pie.

So, atheists (and I know at least two of you read), do you ever have doubts? I’m humble enough to admit that I don’t and can’t know everything. Are you?

May 27, 2009

Nobody framed Roger Rabbit

Movies go too long. About 90 minutes too long in some cases. At least according to this site – which condenses movies into four frames. Unfortunately there’s no framing of Roger Rabbit there – which is a shame, because it would have worked nicely with my heading. Oh well. Here’s four movies in 16 frames.



Any guesses on the movies featured here? First one to get all four gets a great intangible prize.

May 27, 2009

Advanced Origami

This is quite incredible – a series of pictures essentially folded into sheets of paper.

May 27, 2009

Giant tool

That’s what I’d call anyone who carries this Swiss Army Knife featuring 110 “tools”. It doesn’t even fit in your pocket. Pretty much missing the whole “pocket knife” concept. I suspect you have to put the knife on the ground and throw whatever you want to chop at the blade.

May 27, 2009

Hitting the right note

If you’re more advanced than those who consider beans the musical fruit – but still not above a little bit of an orchestral performance in the bathroom then these toilet seats (priced at about $US169 each) are for you…

May 27, 2009

A salt and battery

This is a beautiful, hopefully pun inspired, piece of kitchen design. From this Turkish designer.

Found here.

May 27, 2009

My New Friend part 2

Michel Roberts just rang me on the telephone at work. Which surprised me somewhat. He’s definitely a man.

He rang to see if I’d read his latest email. And to tell me that his life is in danger. I did read his email, and I don’t really care. Here are some highlights from the email.

“I want you to understand that I had bestowed my hope in you believing that you will not cheat me or seat on my fund once the security company deliver the consignment to your care. Therefore,you are to impose love, trust and confidence in me so that we shall achieve our aim. Mostly is trust because without trust that’s mean we are not making any progress,I have the believe that you are a God sent to me and also a God fearing person, and I think it will be nice for us to handle this by both of us because I don’t want someone else to know about the consignment in the security company.Please my dear lets keep the secret between us.”

“Remember that you promised to help me and you also said that you will stand by me. Note that our relationship can not only be built on money but it has got a lot to do with trust and love for people. How can we build this trust? Should we be binded by a contract bond which will be legally signed and sealed in the law court here in this country to avoid cheats from the both of us before we proceed? I need your opinion on this. And bear in mind that I can never do anything that will hurt your heart. It’s a promise. I assure you that this project is 100% risk free and legal, you will not have any problem in assisting me in this project as everything is legal and risk free.”

And here’s my response.

Thank you once again for your timely response. I feel they would be quicker if you wrote slightly shorter emails.

I notice that you did not answer my question from my last email. As I said, the biggest reason I have for continuing to do business with you is your religion. I have a personal rule about not doing business with anybody who does not fear the Lord. You did not answer my question about baptism. Does this mean you are in favour of baptising children?

I was writing this when you made your phone call. Please do not call me by phone in the future – I can not talk about this matter in front of my colleagues. We will have to conduct our communication by email or I will not be continuing our transaction.

I would like you to send me the details for the security company.

Thank you for your call. It is nice to know you are a real person – I have heard of people having money stolen in situations like this – so I believe it is important that we establish this trust.

I have another question for you to answer to help me trust you. Do you love Jesus?

My goal is to preach the gospel to this scammer. Lets see how far I get.

May 27, 2009

New friend

I have a new friend. His/her name is Michel(le). (S)he is from Cote d’ Ivoire. I’m helping him/her out with a little inheritance problem. Apparently his/her late father didn’t trust his countrymen.

Here are some of the details:

l am Michelle Robert, the only child of late Chief and Mrs Benjamin Robert, My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business meeting. My mother died on the 20th January 1988 and my father took me so special because l am motherless.

Poor kid. Sounds so sad.

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisioned by his business associates , that l should seek for a GOD fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where l will transfer this money and use it for proper investment purpose ,that I must finish my university education by the help of a business partner abroad,that he or she should help me obtain a resident permit in his or her country.

That was from the first email – signed off by Michelle. The second, after I indicated a willingness to continue discussions contained the following:

Hope you are fine today and your family , Happiness to hear that you will be willing to assist me retrieve this consignment deposited by my late father in the security company here in this country as you know I really appreciate the time you made out to reply to my mail to you. God in his infinite mercy will richly reward you for your concern and honesty towards me in this my difficult moment in life. God bless you abundantly.

This one was signed off by a “Michel” – and included a decidedly male photo.

I will question him/her about it in future emails. I had much more important questions to ask before pursuing any sort of business deal…

Here’s my response.

I am a very wealthy business man – and I didn’t get to that stage without being cautious about who I do business with. I’m very glad to say that you sound trustworthy – I too am a believer in God, and his mercy. Were we not on the same page theologically I would find it hard to continue in this matter.

Can you tell me – what are your thoughts on baptism?

I googled “Business Man” and used this picture – I hope the virtual me doesn’t mind.

May 27, 2009