My question – if the smurfs are satanic – then what is Gargamel? My second question – how do these people get their own TV show?
How to get off a speeding ticket in NZ: Write a completely honest complaint letter
Ahh. New Zealand. Home of the long white cloud, Fergburger, and other holiday memories…
Also, home to this ingenious bloke who wrote a letter that humourously told the department of issuing stupid fines that their infringement notice was riddled with factual errors. Letters of note has the exchange.
Firstly, the ‘date of offence’ is listed as the 23rd of June 1974 with the time being at or around half past six in the evening. This is of grave concern to me because I was not issued a drivers license until sometime in 1990 and I have no desire to be charged with driving while not legally licensed. I do not have a clear recollection of very much at all before I was three and a half years old, so I rang Mum to see if she remembered what I was doing that day. She said that – coincidentally – I was born that day!!
He goes on (and you should read the whole thing).
“This is where it starts to get really strange. The car that I must have crawled into had the same license plate number as the one I have now – AEH924 (according to the infringment notice). However, my car is a dark gray Nissan Bluebird SSS, with dual cup holders, 1800cc’s of grunt, air-conditioning and electric windows.
You will notice that a time-travel option is not included on this model, so that rules out any ‘Back to the Future’ issues and the car I was driving back then could not have been the the one I drive today.
This is clarifed by the infringement notice which states that the vehicle was a Honda saloon. How this relates to my Nissan Bluebird, I cannot fathom. I can only hypothesise that, back in 1974, the first range of proto-type Hondas had an automated number plate changing mechanism (like on the A-Team) which were used to avoid parking tickets and facilitate safer getaways from burglaries, armed hold-ups and the like.”
Clear cut biology: Amazing transparent animal specimens
These are cool. A Japanese designer/scientist is turning science into art with these transparent animal skeletons. They are amazing.
Here’s a little synopsis of his project. The site is in Japanese, but the magic of google translate should fix that for you.
“Originally, the method of making transparent specimens – enzymatically turning the protein transparent, dyeing the bones magenta and dyeing the cartilages blue – was established for scientific purposes to study the skeletal system. Taking this a step further to refine the form and coloration of the specimens requires time and experience.
I create transparent specimens as pieces of work that help people feel closer to the wonders of life.
People may look at my specimens as an academic material, a piece of art, or even an entrance to philosophy. There is no limitation to how you interpret their meaning. I hope you will find my work as a “lens” to project a new image, a new world that you’ve never seen before.”
Here’s some of his work.
Hitman fail…
If you’re a hitman. The rules are simple. Don’t fall in love with your target. And if you do, don’t try to cover it up with a photo mock up featuring tomato sauce and the old machete in the arm pit trick. And, failing that, definitely don’t get caught canoodling with your would be victim, especially don’t let the person who paid you catch you…
This, sadly, is not a hypothetical set of happenings.
Only in Brazil…
Get Locusts…
So apparently there’s a world out there still consisting of people who design text based adventure games. Which is cool. I played through this one the other day – a game based on getting Jesus to turn water into wine at the wedding of Cana. Here’s the opening scene.
>look
Kitchen
The kitchen is dim and smoky and cluttered, the result of the chaos of preparing for the wedding, currently underway in the courtyard to the south. In the northeast corner, the door to the garden stands wide open, in the hopes of letting in some cool air. Down some steps to the west is the winery.All the actual food has been served, except for a plate of honeyed locusts that sits untemptingly nearby, unsurprisingly untouched.
>get locusts
Taken.
It’s by a guy with “Rev” in his name, and is pretty biblically literate. It’s full of vaguely amusing Bible jokes and with some rudimentary problem solving, and a quick recourse to the hints, I was able to finish the story, there are apparently a few endings based on whether you want to be a nice guy or a nasty guy.
“As you turn to leave, you hear what sounds like a lion’s roar, followed by a slight rustle of leaves. It takes you a few moments to recognise the roar as merely the rumble of an empty stomach. Be that as it may, there’s clearly someone hiding here.
>offer locusts to intruder
You wave the plate in the direction from which you last heard the rustling. After a moment, John, the Rabbi’s son, emerges warily and takes the plate from you. “Thanks,” he says, “now if you don’t mind, I’d like to be left alone.” Given that he’s also clutching the missing wine jug to himself, you don’t think that’s an option.”
It was fun. Took me back a little bit. And sucked up some valuable hours of time I should have spent writing essays.
Zombies attack Queensland…
The Queensland Government is launching a new disaster management web portal, to do so, they’ve run a trial on the basis of a zombie invasion. Inadvertently causing a bunch of chainsaw wielding vigilantes to run around hacking up teenagers in hoodies with their vacant stares and dribbling propensity for gibberish. Well. That’s not true.
Getting the deputy commissioner of police to talk about a zombie attack is pretty brilliant.
In case you are interested in psychologically preparing your children for the upcoming zombie apocalypse – here’s a book for kids.
Perhaps you also want to ward zombies off from your door. This door stopper might help.
If you want some zompocalypse survival tips you can find some previous posts on the subject here.
Food fun from around the interwebs…
Rather than posting all of these separately, here are some food related stories I currently have in my queue of stuff to blog.
Peel garlic in 10 seconds
I want to try this. It’s amazing.
How to Peel a Head of Garlic in Less Than 10 Seconds from SAVEUR.com on Vimeo.
Make your own marshmallows
Serious Eats has a quick run down on making marshmallows.
I had no idea it was this easy. I probably should have. I know plenty of people who have made marshmallows – but the home made version has never really struck me as being as good for toasting, or putting in hot chocolate.
Make a biscuit bowl
This has been doing the rounds – but it seems so much smarter than trying to make a bowl in the inside side of a muffin tray…
Wilton.com has a recipe for biscuit bowl success.
Cheeseburgers at home
Maybe it was self discipline, maybe I just forgot – but I didn’t take advantage of the amazing $1 cheeseburger happy hour deal that McDonalds was running as a birthday celebration.
Lifehacker tried to figure out how much it would cost to make a cheeseburger at home. They calculated the cost at $1.38. That’s a cheap lunch.
Some “Babushka” knives
These don’t just look cool – they’re conceptually cool in their use of Fibonacci ratios.
Details on Design Sojourn. You can buy ’em for millions (well, hundreds) on Amazon.com
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How to stay famous forever: Make your name a noun
A long legacy amongst the broadest number of people requires a reductionism that turns your name into some representation of a particular achievement.
We remember and continue to honour very few people from the past in daily conversation. Sure, if you had to come up with a particular person when answering a question it’s possible that you “remember” them, but often that requires research. Charles Babbage. For example. Invented the computer. Some of you no doubt remember that – but we don’t have any great reminder about his work. If computers were called babbages, then we’d never forget him. Anyway, here’s a song that better explains the aim for anybody who wants to be remembered. Become a noun.
Wanna Live Forever? Become A Noun from NPR on Vimeo.
Stop motion Ninja
Contains violence. Ninja violence. Featuring toy ninjas.
Ninja from Olivier Trudeau on Vimeo.
A Twitter tribute to Steve Jobs
People are saying that Steve Jobs is our John Lennon. Or something. I can sort of see it. But cancer isn’t a gunpoint assassination. And technology isn’t music. Anyway. Watching the outpouring of grief on social networks surrounding the death of this admittedly pretty amazing guy has been pretty culturally revealing. Christians fall into a few camps – some have expressed hope that Jobs found Jesus, some have pointed out that a life lived for success on this earth is hollow, I did both. Some have thanked Jobs for the impact his products had on their ability to do ministry. I don’t think the Westboro Baptists are Christians. But they announced via iPhone on Twitter, that they’d be protesting Jobs’ funeral because he had a man made platform and didn’t acknowledge God, and he promoted immorality. Or some rubbish like that, pretty much ignoring any positive moral contribution Jobs may have been responsible for with his long term opposition to pornography.
Anyway. Those reactions are neither here nor there, so far as this post is concerned. Apparently more people tweeted about Jobs than about any other celebrity who has died in the Internet age. The tweets came faster, and lasted longer… Twitter made this graphic, posted on Flickr, using tweets about Jobs from yesterday, as their tribute. And I think it’s an interesting use of data.
If you check it out in its original size you can read the tweets.
Amazing timelapse video of amazing places in our amazing world…
Wow.
Landscapes: Volume Two from Dustin Farrell on Vimeo.
So much beauty. I don’t normally go for proofs of God’s existence from the natural world, because I think Jesus is a better starting point, and that while the world is meant to reveal a creator Romans suggests its almost human nature to suppress that knowledge… But it’s hard to watch this and not believe in a designer.
Smurfs in real life…
Not quite so cute now. Are they. When you think about it, Smurfs are more likely to be anthropomorphised rodents than little hominoids.
The artist, Nate Hallinan explains his approach…
“The Smurf is actually the result of a symbiotic relationship between two organisms. We believe that Smurfs put their ’embryos’ in the button of a developing mushroom. From a distance, Smurfs seem like they are wearing a hat and pants but as you can see this is a fallacy. The fungus provides camouflage and protective epidermal layers for the creature, while the creature provides nutrients and mobility for the spreading of spores.”
Free PR Advice: Don’t cry over consumed milk
Image Credit: Robbie’s Photo Art, Flickr
One of the big rules of the internet age, especially when emails can be circulated and become viral in, well, seconds, is never put anything in writing that you don’t want going viral.
PR companies should know this. Which is what makes this email from the boss of a PR consulting firm to his staff particularly special.
“So, I am gravely serious when I write this – if I catch someone not replacing the milk, or at least, in the case where the downstairs store has close already, not sending an email to the office so the first person that arrives (usually Christa or me) can pick one up upon arrival – then I am going to fire you. Im not joking. You will be fired for not replacing the milk, and have fun explaining that one to your next employer. This is not a empty threat so PLEASE don’t test me.”
Now he’s saying it’s all a big hyperbolic joke, and there’s been a misunderstanding… but that’s trying to shut the gate after the horse has bolted. Here’s the story on Business Insider.
Tumblrweed: Bad Lip Reading
Bad Lip Reading makes me laugh every time. Here they take on Michelle Bachmann.
And a music video…
And who can forget their take on Rebecca Black’s Friday…