Tag: Bad bad bad theology

CD Burners

When I was trawling through old posts to pick my favourites for that last post – I came across this site that I linked to a while back – it’s the “God Hates Fags” music blacklist. I can’t pick a favourite part of the text on the site to quote – so I’ll include it verbatim (that’s a little play on my title too).

One of the most dangerous ways Homosexuality invades family life is through popular music.  Parents, please keep careful watch over your children’s listening habits.  Especially in this age of Internet mp3 piracy.

There are multiple levels of Gay Music.  Some bands are what we like to call Gateway Bands.  They lure children in with Pop Grooves and Salacious Melodies leaving them wanting more.  They’ll move on to more dangerous bands and the next thing you know you’ve got a homosexual for a child.
We’ve taken the time to highlight the bands that are particularly Gay.  Please take the time and dissect your child’s CD / iTunes catalog. If you find 3 or more of these bands in their collection it is time to take action.
We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs.  Make sure your child is watching.  Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds. They need to know that if they continue to listen to these bands they may Burn eternally as well.

I’m thrilled to see the Jonas Brothers in the list – but there are many bands there that are in my CD collection or iTunes library. Definitely more than 3.

Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a parody…

Dirty deed – done dirt cheap

warninglabel

Label generated here. Make your own. Go on. Do it.

Ahh… some “Christians” give the rest of us a bad name. Choosing to make one verse of the bible a point of distinction for your ministry is almost always a bad idea. The badness increases based on the obscurity of the verse – the prayer of Jabez is a case in point. As is the building of a massive cross shaped conference centre in Nazareth.

If your verse is this:

And he said, so is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; And should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knoweth not how

You’re likely to be in a bit of trouble. Especially if you use that verse to justify a ministry of literally “seeding” the ground in the Holy Land. Because the ground is nicer there. More sanctified.

Seed of prayer is a service that enables believers all over the world to cast a seed of prayer in the Holy Land.
Casting a seed is a spiritual ceremony in which your prayer or heartfelt personal memory (which might be represented by anything that symbolizes your hopes and dreams, such as a photograph, a token, a greeting card, or a piece of jewelry) is cast as a seed of prayer upon the soil of the Holy land.

And what’s in it for you – if you choose to partake in their service. For a $12 fee (plus extras).

Apart of course from the feeling of spiritual wellbeing. This. Holy soil.

If you use it for your tomatoes they’ll no doubt be blessed. And taste better.

You can also get a DVD of your casting ceremony. To relive the moment no doubt. Over and over again.

How to lose friends and alienate people

Catch the Fire Ministries have a knack for getting in trouble. The Christian orthodoxy, myself included, were right behind them in their muslim bashing court case. Religious groups must be free to criticise other religious beliefs – provided we afford those other beliefs the same right to criticise us. That’s true freedom of religious expression.

Perhaps in a most appalling case of nominal determinism “Catch the Fire Ministries” have inflamed the Victorian bush fire situation with the most ideologically inappropriate piece of third party commentary ever released. From the SMH. And here’s their own media release.

“The Catch the Fire Ministries has tried to blame the bushfires disaster on laws decriminalising abortion in Victoria.”

But that’s just editorial from a left of centre anti Christian rag you argue. No. That’s pretty much the sentiment of what Pastor Danny Nalliah had to say.

“Pastor Danny Nalliah, claimed he had a dream about raging fires on October 21 last year and that he woke with “a flash from the Spirit of God: that His conditional protection has been removed from the nation of Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of innocent children in the womb”.”

I’ve mentioned before that I’m anti-abortion. I think God is anti-abortion too. But I don’t think the fires are his judgment on the state for its abortion stance. I think that judgment will come later.

I think the fires are an example of the pain and suffering we’re told we’ll all experience in a world frustrated by sin. Biblically we should expect natural disasters. We certainly shouldn’t run around ascribing God’s judgment to situations like this where everybody, Christian and non-Christian, has been hit.

Here’s some more from Mr Nalliah:

“Asked by the Herald if he did not believe most Australians would regard his remarks as being in appallingly bad taste, he said today: “I must tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.”

He said it was no use “molly-coddling” Australians.

Asked if he believed in a God who would take vengeance by killing so many people indiscriminately – even those who opposed abortion, Mr Nalliah referred to 2 Chronicles 7:14 to vouch for his assertion that God could withdraw his protection from a nation.

“The Bible is very clear,” he said. “If you walk out of God’s protection and turn your back on Him, you are an open target for the devil to destroy.”

In the New King James version of the Bible, 2 Chronicles 7:14 states that: “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

He quoted a headline describing the fires as “The Darkest hour for Victoria”. “A few months ago the news media should have reported `the darkest hour for the unborn’, but unfortunately the `Decriminalisation of Abortion bill’ went through parliament and was passed, thus making many people call Victoria `the baby killing state of Australia,’ ” Mr Nalliah said.

Pastor Nalliah said there may be criticism. But he said he did not send out his media statement thoughtlessly. “We spend two days working on it.”

He had previously said drought and the world financial crisis could be partly blamed on human sin.”

I’m sorry Danny Nalliah, you’ve lost my vote. This is terrible PR and it’s terrible theology. It’s just bad. The Herald does mention that Nalliah is putting a large whack of resources in to fighting the fires and helping those affected. And lest you think my problem is purely that it’s bad PR and he should be out there calling a spade a spade and a bushfire the “judgment of God”… here’s what Jesus had to say about natural disasters and loss of life (in Luke 13:1-5)

“1Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? 3I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Death hits us all. We all need to be ready. But those who are hit by disaster are no more deserving of it than the rest of us. Nalliah is making a leap of logic that Jesus himself rejected. Funnily enough, just before this bit, in Luke 12, Jesus has a dig at people who use the obvious situations around them to justify particular arguments or beliefs, like say picking an economic crisis or fires to say something profound about God’s judgment…

54He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. 55And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. 56Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?

The crux of it

How is it that some people can so comprehensively miss the point? Sometimes you discover things that you can only hope are some elaborate hoax, satire or cheap parody. LarkNews is one of my favourite websites – it harmlessly pokes fun at church culture with articles like this one, or this one. So when I clicked on a banner ad on their main page taking me through to this site – I expected to be met with more merciless parody. Unfortunately this seems genuine. How is it that these “Christians” can completely and utterly miss the point of the cross.

This is prosperity doctrine gone mad. For those who haven’t clicked the link:

“The Nazareth Cross Project aims to build the world’s largest and most impressive cross, standing at 60 meters tall, housing a magnificent church in its center. The cross will be decorated by some 7.2 million brilliant mosaic tiles of varying sizes, each one with a personal engraving. These tiles will be made of stone from Nazareth, or platinum, silver or gold.”

But that’s not all – you too can be part of this monumental project.

“7.2 million tiles will cover this majestic structure, each one engraved with a name. The purchaser will be able to choose both the material and location of the tile on the cross. By acquiring a tile with your inscription, you are connecting to the Holy Land in a most unique and profound manner. In the very heart of Nazareth, where the Virgin Mary heard that she had found favor with God, you will declare your belief in God’s mercy towards you or a loved one for generations to come.”

But wait, there’s more.


“The breathtaking Church with its panoramic view will be located at the intersection of the arms of the cross, 15 stories high, and will contain over 4500 square feet of floor space.In the 2.5 square miles (5 km2) surrounding this monumental cross, a visitor center will be built to offer a unique inspirational experience as well as a world-class educational and leisure center.”


“The central location of the church together with a circular monorail transportation system will provide pilgrims easy access to and from the historic Christian churches, the Fountain of Mary and the city’s central bazaars.”

Once you’ve paid up for your platinum tile it’d be a shame not to visit this spectacular eyesore, and they’ve thought it out so that those unable to travel can enjoy the decadence and “inspiration” on offer…

“This church will provide a stunning 360° panorama and an inspirational worship setting… This Church will serve Christian groups, both pilgrims and locals, with a setting for special services, such as Baptism, Dedications, and Matrimony. The services within the Church can be arranged to be broadcast over the Internet so that family and friends who are unable to attend can share in the experience of Nazareth.”

Sounds just as humble and austere as Jesus wanted people to be when he told us to “take up the cross and follow him.”