cool inventions

Coming soon to bad sports coverage near you: Ball Cam

We’re not there yet – and this is quite a nifty little concept – but I can see this new technology going bad. Innovative camera work at sporting events is one of my pet peeves. I want to see the action from a good angle, not from on the ground behind the in goal, or on some floating camera hovering at odd points in the stadium. And videos coming from within the ball are obviously the next logical progression now that we have a panoramic ball camera containing 36 lenses.

CoffeeTalkies: For driving in convoy in Europe

Did I mention that I just got back from two and a half weeks in Greece and Turkey on an, ahem, study tour. I learned two things. Driving in convoys (difficult, but essential) is better with walkie talkies, and the coffee is terrible.

So I give you the perfect solution. CoffeeTalkies. A real product1, brought to you by the Onion.

1 The box is real. The product is not.

How to “humanely” kill an animal

Right. It seems people didn’t like the idea that you can’t “humanely” kill anything you’re going to eat.

Perhaps this is what the soldiers from Townsville should have used. A photocopier shaped “taser” that stuns lobsters so that you can then kill them without them feeling the pain… except the pain of 110 volts passing through their exoskeletons.

The application of a stun (110 Volts – 2-5 amps) causes an immediate interruption in the functioning of the nervous system of the shellfish. By interrupting the nerve function, the shellfish (be it Crab. Lobster or other) is unable to receive stimuli and thus by definition, cannot feel pain or suffer distress (Dr. Dave Robb 2000 – Bristol University – paper on sentience in Crustacea, Baker 1975, Jane Smith 1991, Bateson 2000, Sherwin 2000 & Gregory & Lumsden 2000). The prolonged application of the stun causes a permanent disruption which kills the shellfish.

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