There are plenty of services for pet care post rapture that you can google. But what do we do about people? Well. For posterity’s sake – this guy recorded a survival guide for the dirt/paper eaters who want to survive post rapture.
Gary is a bad landlord. Apparently. One of his tenants has a blog documenting the badness of his landlordness – called Landlord of the Flies. If I was a Landlord I can imagine perpetuating this sort of thing as a joke – but it seems genuine.
“June 30: Oil Leak
My car has been leaking oil for a little while, and I have been trying to get it fixed.
Email from Gary concerning this:
YOUR CAR IS STILL LEAKING OIL LIKE A SIEVE….
GET IT FIXED NOW…..
STRONG LETTER TO FOLLOW,
Strong letter that followed:
get your oil leak fixed NOW……MORON
June 17: The Arrest
Upon returning from work on Wednesday, I find 2 cop cars parked in the driveway. The police inform me that when James returned from the hospital, he discovered his TV, laptop, and iPhone were all missing. When asked about this, Gary claimed he had no idea where they were. The police then found the TV in Gary’s garage. He admitted to having stole the TV, but said he had no idea where the laptop or phone was. They found the laptop under his bed. “Alright, I also stole the laptop, but I have no idea where the iPhone is.” The iPhone was then found in his desk drawer.
This is the first, and a prime example, of Gary’s inability to plan for future events. One could assume that after finding the TV, they would likely continue to search. Unless you have thought of a really unique hiding place, just fess up, because they’re probably going to check your desk and under your bed.
Gary was handcuffed and I was asked if I would be posting bail for Gary. Having lived in the house for just about 2 weeks, I didn’t feel that me and Gary were at that “posting bail” level of our relationship. Gary then spent the night in Kane County lock-up on charges of felony theft.
And we thought our landlord was crazy… there’s a bit of strong language if you want to read the whole account.