cremation

Get yourself in the groove. Literally.

You can get a bin full of your ashes in a 45… that’s the best intro I could come up with for this post, and if you remember a Cornershop song from the late 90s (possibly), and know that the 45 refers to the 45rpms a conventional 7 inch record had to be played at to produce music as intended, then you’ll think it’s brilliant.

I’ve posted, in the past, some creative way to ensure your ashes stay on in a really novel way. You can become a set of pencils, or a diamond ring, or an urn shaped like your head, if that’s not your cup of tea (though it might be Keith Richards’), you can get ashes mixed with tattoo ink, and now, thanks to “And Vinyly” you can become a final vinyl. They’ll cast your ashes into the mix, and cut you a bunch of records of your favourite song to be distributed to your friends and loved ones. Or perhaps your enemies.

You can even record a message. Backmasking is a real possibility. I’d get the Beatles Revolution 9 recorded backwards on my album – so that you’d hear “turn me on deadman” in the normal direction, and atonal LSD inspired experimental music (it’s not my favourite Beatles song) in reverse. You can set the record straight on any long running family feuds. You can dig the needle in just one last time… the puns, and possibilities, are endless.

Wired has a story. Here’s a quote about the process.

“How does it work? The process of setting human ashes into vinyl involves a very understanding pressing plant. Basically the ashes must be sprinkled onto the raw piece of vinyl (known as a “biscuit” or “puck”) before it is pressed by the plates. This means that when the plates exert their pressure on the vinyl in order to create the grooves, the ashes are pressed into the record.”

What songs would you pick?

Death becomes you

I probably don’t write enough about death. Mostly because it’s one of those topics you don’t talk about in polite company.

But I can’t let these advances in post mortem technology go by without comment.

Finding the right, dignified, treatment for your loved ones is an important choice…

Firstly, you could turn your loved one’s ashes into a rather smart casual diamond… from LifeGem. Here’s a testimonial…

Dear Mr. VandenBiesen,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. The Archie Life Gem is so beautiful. I received it on Wednesday last week, had it mounted into a ring the same day, and have been wearing it ever since. The color is so amazing.(so is the size-Thank you) I am thrilled. What a wonderful service your company performs. Thank you for making my heart smile again.
Angie McKinnon”

If that’s not your thing, you could always choose to keep your loved one’s ashes in a purpose built urn – reproduced in the image of the recently departed. From PersonalUrns.

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