emo

Generation next

It occured to me tonight that the Wiggles have been gracing Australia’s screens and partronising our children for about 16 years. Wikipedia confirmed this – the Wiggles began their careers in 1991 – which means that the first generation of 2 year olds weened on the Wiggles will now be coming of age.

This brings me to a worrying connection between the playful, colourful “entertainers” (and I use that term loosely) and the youth of today.

As we know, children notoriously rebel against their children in the most extreme methods available. The antithesis to the primary colours wearing musos popular with a generation of Australian children is of course the emo:

That’s right – the emo epidemic sweeping the nation is directly attributable to the Wiggles and their massive popularity with parents who have imposed their happy, fun-filled, rhythmic form of control on unruly children over the last 16 years. It’s time to take stock of the impact modern parenting could have on tomorrow’s children.

And now for something completely different…

Finding Emo

What is the deal with Emo? This is a blog by request for Joel. He doesn’t understand emo people. Neither do I. Emo used to be a classification of a branch of punk music. Apparently now it’s so much more. Some people (Jon Ray) debate emo’s right to hold its own place in the spectrum of musical genres. Some people love email. Some spell checks don’t like the word emo. These people wear black make up, have crap hair and wear clothes at least 4 sizes too small. Apparently they like self harm and stuff now too. Back when I was a young lad, well back in the 90s anyway, people who cut themselves and wore funny black clothing were called goths. As far as I can tell the only difference between emo people and goths is taste in music. For a complete guide to being emo check out this site here. It’ll create an emo identity just for you.

Emo used to be a label for any emotional rock. Weezer are an oft mentioned example of this first wave of emo acts. Weezer are cool. Just because Weezer are emo, and Weezer are cool doesn’t make all emo bands cool. That is a fallacious syllogism. Syllogism is a cool word. I just wanted to use it in my blog.

The new wave of emo is darker… edgier… according to wikipedia common elements include dark colored hair (often dyed either black or an unnatural dark hue), males wearing pants tailored for females, lots of piercings, and dark make-up on males and females. In short, emo people are weird. Wikipedia also notes they may have a tendency towards self harm. They also like fringes. What’s with that?

Now that you all know how to identify an emo there are certain rules for approaching them in social situations. The first principle of approaching an “emo” is that you should never expect any form of response or interaction from said emo. Unless you’re talking about how wonderful AFI is. Emo’s love AFI, or My Chemical Romance, or any of those punk bands who write emotional songs. Emo is just a category for people who aren’t hardcore enough to be goth and are too stupid to be normal. There’s something sad about a group of non-conformists who all dress the same.

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