fart jokes

I fart in your general direction: Luther and the Pope

I’m writing an essay at the moment about Luther. This explains the relative paucity of posts this week, and other essays are to blame for the last two weeks’ relative absence.

I’m going to look at Luther’s approach to communication throughout his life. And in the process of my research I came across this pamphlet that Luther distributed during the Reformation. In 1545, in his Depiction of the Papacy


Image Credit: Wikifiles

The Latin reads:

“The Pope speaks: Our sentences are to be feared, even if unjust. Response: Be damned! Behold, o furious race, our bared buttocks. Here, Pope, is my ‘belvedere'”

Your gas life now

This is just bizarre. Watch this video.

Whoopee Cushion Life Teaser from North Point Church on Vimeo.

That, friends, is a video trailer for a sermon series. At North Point Church.

It’s called Whoopee Cushion Life.

Honestly. Whoever had that idea should be fired. Or Dutch ovened. Or Dutch ovened then fired.

Here, if you can stomach the intro again, is the first sermon from the series.

Whoopee Cushion Life: Pull My Finger from North Point Church on Vimeo.

Chair woman for the bored

No – this isn’t another story about the Cronulla Sharks…

Designer Alice Wang has produced a series of “chairs for the dysfunctional“. They’re interesting and clever, sometimes both.

The “Silent Farter”

“Those with excess gas in their abdomen can find it difficult to hold it in sometimes, even at important times such as formal dinner gatherings or meetings. Quietly letting the gas out may be the solution, but although the sound may be muted, the scent is still present. It can often cause misunderstanding and unnecessary embarrassment for the innocent others.This chair announces who the gas is from by amplifying the silent fart exhausted.”

You could probably integrate some sort of twitter functionality by copying the office chair guy…

There’s also “The Constant Shaker” which helps fidgeters justify their wiggling – providing a calorie counter that monitors your every on chair movement.

“Researchers believe these unconscious muscle movements may be caused by a chemical produced in our brain to trigger additional calories to be burnt. This chair calculates the amount of calories burnt when one fidgets or shakes their leg when sitting down.”

In fact, you could probably have this send information to Twitter too…

This last one though is for those who like the concept of Twitter without the technology – the Status Announcer…

“More and more people are reliant on online social communities such as Facebook and Twitter, leading to possible technology related anti-social behaviours. Those who are used to regularly publishing their personal life online may have difficulty adjusting to public scenarios in real life and may loose the ability to speak or interact with others face to face.This chair allows one to update their status like they usually do on their online profiles byputting up various signs that shows their current status.”

Philosophical flatulence

If a man passes wind in his office chair and Twitter is there to hear it – would you listen?

One of the things I was taught at uni was that a lot of technological innovation is driven by the adult entertainment industry. Video cassettes, the Internet, and glossy magazine printing technology have all benefited from hundreds of millions (perhaps billions) of dollars of investment from the industry. I thought that was interesting.

I also think it’s interesting that in the “open source” era so many applications of new technology are being driven by toilet humour. Particularly a fascination with flatulence. One of the most downloaded iPhone applications (and I don’t have it) is iFart – it’s basically a portable whoopie cushion with the full natural gas sound spectrum available at the push of a button. Enlightening. Really. It says so much about the human condition.

I’m delighted today to have discovered an all new low in the use of technology for the purposes of toilet humour… Here’s a description:

The Twittering office chair “tweets” (posts a Twitter update) upon the detection of natural gas such as that produced by human flatulence. This is part of my commitment to accurately document and share my life as it happens.

Here’s the detailed instructions for how to build your own… and here’s the OfficeChair’s Twitter account so you can follow the farts in real time. Hooray.

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