kids say the darndest things

Tumblrweed: Bad Jokes for/from kids

I couldn’t figure out where the apostrophe should go in bad kid’s jokes. It’s ambiguous. Some of them are from bad kids. Some are bad jokes. Some are bad jokes for kids.

Here’s the premise of this pretty fun site.

“I moderate jokes on a Kids Jokes website. A lot of joke submissions can’t be published because they’re offensive (to kids, or to parents who would hear them repeated at home), or they don’t make sense… so I publish them here instead. I have not edited or made up any of these jokes.”

Here are some samples from the front page.

Peas

WHAT DOES PEAS EAT?

TOAST

Black and White

Q.what do you call black and white, black and white, black and white ,grey, red????
A.A penguin rolling down a hill, hit a rock and DIED!!!!!!

Girls

why are girls freaky?

beacuse they have long hair and there stupid.

Chickens Stop

why did all the chickens stop?
because a fat cow was about to put her bum on them

Zombe

what do you get if you cros a zombe and a persen?

dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flight of the Conchords do fun charity song with kids, for kids

Love this. It’s been doing the rounds so you’ve probably seen it… but essay writing duties are killing my ability to post things in a timely manner. It’s also sucked out any ability I have to write a good heading.

Flight of the Conchords teamed up with some other Kiwis, and some kids, to write a charity song to raise money for sick children.

It’s nice. I especially love this confession from a young girl:

“I ate bubble mixture because I wanted to turn into a bubble”

Here’s the song if you want to skip the fun interviews with the kids.

Preacher kids say the darndest things…

Think it’s cool that Spurgeon started preaching when he was 16. Check out Elijah Kaneshiro. Possibly the world’s cutest child preacher. Much less shouty than that kid from last week. Here he is in a video with embedding disabled.

Here’s a four year old preaching on predestination (well, not really). I never expected to see something like that (unless there’s an autocue this is some pretty impressive memory work). He starts preaching at about 3.30 (I did skip backwards and forwards a little bit).

And look. You can buy his DVD. 1 minute in is where the fun begins. He tells a story about a boat, reunited with its creator and owner.

Not sure how I feel about this. What do you reckon?

Here are a couple more kid preachers…

Not much difference between this and most tongues preaching is there (and I don’t think the audience can discern the difference).

This is Elijah’s little sister…

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