Star Trek

How to plot a blockbuster movie

We were all outraged when we figured out that Avatar was Pocahontas – but not so many of us have complained that so many of our favourite blockbusters are essentially exactly the same story. Star Wars, Star Trek, the Matrix and Harry Potter are all just about exactly the same. The full plot outline is here… below is an abstract.

Once upon a time,

Luke | Kirk | Neo | Harry

was living a miserable life. Feeling disconnected from his friends and family, he dreams about how his life could be different. One day, he is greeted by

Obi Wan | Captain Pike | Trinity | Hagrid

and told that his life is not what it seems, and that due to some circumstances surrounding his

birth | birth | birth | infancy

he was meant for something greater. Deciding to leave with

him | him | her | him,

Luke | Kirk | Neo | Harry

is taken to

Mos Eisley | Starfleet Academy | the real world | Hogwarts

where he meets lots of new, fascinating people. For the first time in a very long time, life is exciting, and

Luke | Kirk | Neo | Harry

explores the new life that has opened up for him. With his new friends, he starts to work hard to become the sort of man that

Obi Wan | Captain Pike | Trinity | Hagrid

said he could be. Although

Han | Spock | the Oracle | Draco

challenges his abilities, things go relatively well until suddenly,

Alderaan is destroyed | Vulcan is attacked | Morpheus is captured | Voldemort returns.

What this post doesn’t include is the obligatory montage that occurs in the bit where the main character is learning his mad skillz.

How to really mess up your kid

d’Armond Speers is obviously a bit angry at the name his parents gave him. So he decided to seriously mess up his son’s life by speaking to him exclusively in Klingon for the first three years of his life.

“I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language,” Speers told the Minnesota Daily. “He was definitely starting to learn it.”

Luckily for the kid, it seems is all turned out ok…

As for Speers, who still gets nostalgic when he recalls singing the Klingon lullaby “May the Empire Endure” with his son at bedtime, the experiment was a dud. His son is now in high school and doesn’t speak a word of Klingon.

Although some of the things he’s done lead people to believe he’s a “Star Trek” fanatic, Speers said it’s actually a passion for language that attracts him to Klingon.

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