stupid inventions

A shirt to wear in Hamsterdam

This is an actual invention. It is subject to a patent in the US.

It is guaranteed to get you beaten up – or at least protested against by PETA.

“Gerbil Shirt
US Patent Issued In 1999

Hey, are you tired of leaving your small pets at home when you are out and about? Could you use a little more quality time with your gerbils, mice, hamsters or snakes? Well now your dreams have come true with the Gerbil Shirt! The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.”

Via Gizmodo.

Cherry Chomper: Chomps cherries

And who knew that Cherry pitting was such a modern culinary dilemma? Not me. But thankfully Cherry Chomper is here.

Turns out it’s a real problem. Or so the retailer would have you believe

“Cherry chomper provides a safe, quick and clean way to pit cherries.”

“A fun tool for kids in the kitchen and a big help for those who suffer from arthritis.”

Yours for just $US14.98. If you dare..

Pen(t) up aggression

Sick of people stealing your pen? Me too. I hate it. My pens go missing from my desk at an alarming rate. The worst bit is when you see the aforementioned writing device in someone else’s mouth. get the pen back complete with fresh teeth marks. Your troubles will be a distant memory if you invest the $US1.69 to purchase this pen.

Found here. I can’t believe someone made this – and worse, I can’t believe I posted it… or maybe I can.

Cheque your emotions

My hatred of emoticons knows no bounds and has been documented previously. They are bad. They are for lazy writers – they are an exclamation mark taken to a new low. So the idea of a USB keyboard dedicated to emoticons just makes me feel empty inside. Those who are interested may like to know that they can be removed from the keyboard and worn as jewelry.

Bajca’s (the company) designer says:

Bajca’s idea arise from connecting deeply the virtual with the real life. Bajca is the instrument that ” make real” the emotion- a digital translation of every sensation- telling the story of everyday life; spoken, touched and wearn every day.

I say :(. No word yet on how much these will set you back financially – socially they’ll be crippling.

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