That’s not the worse pun I could have made here… but keep this as a spare in your reading basket to solve a puzzling predicament… what are you to do when you use the last square of toilet paper in the house? Never find yourself in that dilemma again. Buy this now…
Bacon toilet paper*. I’m not sure there’s anywhere I can go with this. Except to say that if you’re going to print something on your toilet paper it may as well be something awesome.
If you’re trying to understand why I talk about bacon so much perhaps you should read point four from this Slate article.
*not made from bacon.
Toxic warning tape would probably be a more appropriate addition to most bathrooms – but in the case of literal “silent but deadlies” this crime scene toilet paper will do the job.
A while back I posted a bunch of novelty toilet paper designs. You should check out that post – and these other fantastic bathroom fillers.
Sometimes you just really have to go at night. And finding the light switch is hard. Glow in the dark toilet paper is there in case of emergency.
Some people like to read while sitting on the toilet. My mum always warned me about hemorrhoids that occur as a result. You can take that warning, or leave it. If you leave it perhaps you’d like to have some brainteasers at hand (which reminds me of the one about the constipated mathematician – he worked it out with a pencil*).
Other people like to jot down thoughts and journal ideas on notepads. Artist Michael Gondry turned his notepad doodlings into toilet paper – I assume only the bad ideas made it.
*Not even my favourite toilet humour joke – which is “a doctor was walking the corridors of the hospital when a pharmacist approached and said “doctor, doctor, there’s a suppository behind you ear,” the doctor paused, checked his ear and said “oh no, some bum has got my pen.”
Some are folders, some are scrunchers, some are readers…
Here’s one for the folders out there (via bookofjoe)…
And one for the readers (also from bookofjoe)
A horror novella printed on toilet paper… a few times over, so that you can pick up where you leave off…
Then there’s one for the “artistic”… from an Australian company called Crumpler… also via bookofjoe…
If none of these excite you you can always print your own (also from bookofjoe).
Scrunchers are no doubt less sophisticated and should be ostracised with much pointing and name calling. Folders are the superior breed. As demonstrated by this new line of toilet paper…
