I posted the all time best ever joke in the world here some time ago. We’re talking June 2006.
Today I got a comment on that post from someone I don’t know rewriting the tractor joke to make it longer and slightly more awesome.
Kudos to you Michael Edwards.
“Ok so there was this man who was fascinated by tractors he liked tractors so much he changed his name to tractor. He brought his own land and called it tractor and then changed his house to tractor and his road to tractor so his address was tractor, tractor, tractor, and tractor. He even reshaped his own to a tractor design he woke up one day in his tractor shaped bed and wearing his tractor print pyjamas and went down his stairs which had tractor carpet on and then he sat down on his tractor shaped chair at his tractor shaped table eating his tractor shaped toast reading the tractor times. When he read in the tractor times that there was a tractor convention in the local fields near his house in tractor. He was so excited he changed from his tractor pyjamas to his tractor outfit and put on his tractor shoes. He left his tractor house in tractor, tractor and got onto his tractor he had lots of tractors almost every tractor he could find… when he got to the tractor convention he saw the most amazing tractor. He thought it was the best. No he knew it was the best tractor he had ever seen… he went up to the guy who owned it and said. “Excuse me How much is your tractor?”… The guy who owned it thought “hmm I could get a lot of money for this” so he said, ” how much are you willing to pay?” now Tractor being the joker he is said “will a tenner cover it?”, the man who owned the tractor didn’t find this very funny, he thought he was insulting his tractor so he punched him and knocked out Tractor for a few hours. When he woke up he realised he was in a tractor convention and without knowing what had happened he saw this most amazing tractor and asked the guy how much he would sell it for so the owner thought “hmm I could make some money here” so he says, how much are you willing to pay. So Tractor being the joker that he is and not knowing what had happened previously said “will a tenner cover it?” so the man who owned it was very angry he thought he was insulting his tractor, so he hit him hard on the nose and he was knocked out. He woke up the next day and had no idea what had happened but realise he was in a tractor convention and he saw best tractor he had ever seen… he went up to the guy who owned it and said. “Excuse me How much is your tractor?”… The guy who owned it thought “hmm I could get a lot of money for this if he jokes again I will kill him, so he says “how much are you willing to pay for it” so Tractor being the joker that he is and not knowing what had happened previously said “will a tenner cover it? The man was Furious, he punched Tractor so hard he was out cold for a week… when he woke up he hadn’t remembered a thing the convention had gone and all he knew was that he didn’t like tractors anymore. So he changed everything back so he lived in an ordinary house number in an ordinary road in an ordinary town with an ordinary name. He woke up and got out of his ordinary bed in his ordinary pyjamas and wearing his ordinary slippers he goes down his ordinary stairs to his ordinary table eating his ordinary toast reading his ordinary newspaper. And he is very bored so he decides to go to an ordinary pub to order an ordinary beer. He goes into a pub and it is so Smokey he can’t even see his hand In front of his face so he leaves and goes out to find another pub buy he cant find one so he decides the last pub would have to do… he goes into the pub and breathes in all the smoke and breathes it out the door… the barman goes up to him and says, “how did you do that? I’ve been trying to get rid of that smoke for weeks”. The ordinary man says “oh That’s easy I’m an Extractor Fan!”