Tag: youtube

The children sing “row, row, row, your boat…” the bus approaches a road work induced traffic jam. Someone in another car is arming a bomb. They mow down the lollipop man. And all the witches hats. They plant the bomb on the bus. It beeps. The timer says 182. Chuck is in the traffic jam. He takes the same route as the bad guys. Missing the lollipop men. The timer says 90. The timer says 75. The timer says 29. Chuck grabs it. No. He misses it. He grabs it. It’s beeping in his cab. He drives up beside the bad guy’s car. He says “did you lose this?” The car explodes.

Chuck is walking through an abandoned sideshow alley. We see a destroyed merry-go-round. He looks sad. The upturned carriages (it’s not a horse one) are a stark reminder of the trouble gripping the nation. The not very sneaky government offical comes up to Chuck for a dialogue. They argue. Chuck gives him a mission. He wants to refuse.

We’re now at a military base. The news anchor mentions martial law. Both Chuck and Blondie are in their hotel rooms watching space ships crash into buildings in some d-grade movie. Chuck wears jeans, army boots and a denim vest to bed. Special agents are running towards one of the rooms with the spaceships on television. We’re not sure which one. The spaceship crashes into the White House. It’s Chuck’s room. The police arrive. They tell Chuck that nobody is beyond the law.

Critics are on television denying that the coverage of terrorism is having an impact. Blondie watches the news – Chuck’s arrest for “vigilante behaviour” is in the bulletin.

There are lots of army men. It’s day time. Chuck is paraded – buttons open – through a mob of journalists. At least one calls out “would you like to make a statement” – I would have thought wearing an unbuttoned denim shirt to court was statement enough.

The pesky journalist is reading a pamphlet – dropped by helicopters – about a new curfew. She runs up to a cordon of soldiers – who block her path until she shows her press credentials. She’s in the court room. Chuck says “see you round” after they engage in some flirting. Churck addresses the media. He speaks directly to Blondie. “I’d like you to close your eyes, when they open, I’ll be there. And it will be time to die”. Blondie calls in all his troops for a final showdown with Chuck.

Incompetent security personnel are taken by surprise by a marauding army of Russians – who jump back into their fleet of armoured cars and trucks. The bad guys drive towards Chuck. They take pot shots at army men as they go. Blondie takes a helicopter. He arrives at his destination just before his infantry. They fire their weapons in random directions. Now some tanks are on the move. We can’t tell if they’re good guys or bad guys. Chuck appears next to Blondie’s (now vacant) helicopter. The pilot tries to take off but Chuck shoots the chopper with a rocket launcher.

The horde of bad guys enter an office building – they shoot lots of empty desks. They move up to the management level. There are nice paintings on the walls. The people driving the tanks were good guys. They set up outside. The bad guys shoot up the executive offices – incliuding a fish tank. They are looking for Chuck. There is no Chuck to be found. They realise it’s a trap and try to escape. They run outside and are confronted with lots of tanks and guns. Chuck is upstairs where Blondie tries to escape. One bad guy tries to shoot down an army helicopter and the assembled soldiers open fire. It’s hard to tell who’s winning.

Chuck is walking through the offices. He’s in middle management. He shoots one bad guy.

The tanks are crushing the armoured cars outside. Chuck kicks another bad guy in the head then shoots him – he was wearing a beret so he deserved it.

There is more fighting outside. Chuck shoots four more men in the office. Some hide in cubicles. Chuck goes to reload. He realises he’s out of ammo. He ditches his machine pistols (which are joined together by a leather holster) and picks up a much larger weapon from his fallen prey. He enters a very dark room. There’s a suit hanging on a coat rack. He keeps walking. There’s a closed door. He approaches. Quietly. He raises his gun and steps inside. It’s empty. He approaches another closed door. He has a knife in his belt. There are two men behind the door – their ears are pressed against the wood. Chuck steps back and uses the grenade launcher to blow two holes – one either side of the door. One of the bad guys stirs. Reaching towards his gun. Chuck drops his machine gun and the bad guy reaches for his pistol. Chuck throws the knife at him. And kills him. Now it’s just Chuck and Blondie. Chuck is unarmed. Chuck runs around the office calling Blondie’s name. The walls of the office look like those peg board things you put up in your tool shed to hang your tools from. Blondie enters a dark room. Chuck waits for a few moments. Then pounces. Like a panther. Blondie squares up like a boxer. Chuck kicks him in both knees and then the head. This isn’t one of those fights wear the bad guy gets to take a swing. Chuck kicks him in the head again – and then disappears. Blondie runs into the room with the two big holes. He picks up a rocket launcher. We see more gunfighting outside. The tide has turned in favour of the US army. The bad guys have brought their pistols to a tank fight.

Blondie is walking the hallways with his rocket launcher. Very slowly.

There’s a cease fire called outside. The evil army lay down their weapons. The army men cheer.

Blondie is still walking the corridor very slowly. Chuck appears behing him, out of focus at first, he has his own rocket launcher. He locks and loads it. He says “it’s time”… and we have a rocket launcer duel. Blondie grunts and swings his rocket launcher around to shoot Chuck – but he’s too slow. Blondie wears Chuck’s rocket and goes flying out the window.

Credits roll. The end. Stay tuned for Robyn’s review. Here’s the final scene.

And some sort of trailer.