Playing with knives and part 2 of the story of the crazy Japanese man

Well I do believe I’m a prophet… I’d just written that heading and was going to talk about the exquisitely sharp leatherman I’d just been playing with when BAM (or more correctly SLICE) I shut it on my thumb. It hurts. Blood tastes funny. Metallic in fact. But the med students I’ve asked can’t explain why. My guess is that it has something to do with the iron content, and because I’m an iron man my blood must be extra metally tasting. So I’m feeling pretty retarded at the moment (sorry to all the politically correct people out there – but it’s technically true – my movement and thinking is somewhat inhibited). I was using the knife to stab myself in the arm anyway, so I probably deserved it. I haven’t gone all emo or self harm crazy or anything – I just had a funny pimple that needed probing… that’s probably a pretty disgusting thing to put on my blog – but that’s what you get here – you get my life, pimples and all…

So yesterday’s Japanese man story has a sequel. There maybe some ethical ramifications for posting this story on the internet – so to protect the identities of the parties involved I’m going to rename them. For the sake of this story the Japanese guy who was last seen handcuffed and heading off to the hospital yesterday will be called Bob. And the med student who handled the admission of said patient, and tracked down his family, will be called umm Nyrrik. Don’t go reversing either of those names, because the first one is a palindrome anyway so there’d be no point, and the second one, well that wouldn’t really protect anyone’s identity would it.

As Bob was pushed into the back seat of a police car (note the indefinite article – it wasn’t “the police car” because there were multiple police cars on the scene… that’s what happens when two different people call the police and one uses 000 while the other dials the direct line) I realised that Bob would probably be being taken to some sort of mental health type place – given that he’d exhibited all the signs of being slightly (well probably more than slightly) crazy. So I sent a message to Nyrrik, who is currently on a mental health rotation for her med studenting… or for her degree… to tell her to watch out for the crazy Japanese guy we’d just sent to the hospital. It turns out she was on duty and got to spend the day making important phone calls to educational institutes and diplomatic organisations trying to track down Bob’s family. I’m told this was a successful process. Bob is now under observation in the hospital. I’ve met plenty of crazy people before (I mean really crazy, not crazy like umm… Annod or Noraa or umm… some other people that none of you know) but this guy took the cake. Bob appeared to have led a fairly normal and competent life before this whole incident so I guess we can only hope he’ll eventually snap out of it. I blame drugs. I’m not sure that they’re actually responsible in this case, but they make a convenient social scapegoat.

Part three of the story is that the girl from work who looks after the Visitor Information Centres and volunteers gave me a packet of Tim Tams today which just goes to show that heroism pays off. I’m thinking of resigning and donning a cape and some tights. Actually, I wonder if I’d have to resign to do that…

And finally, as promised, I have a photo from my fishing adventure with I Fish. I’m not sure when the episode will air – but I’ll be sure to keep you posted. This fish was actually a lot bigger than I remembered it being – but in answer to your questions – yes I caught it, no it’s not trick photography, and no I’m not a wimp who’s afraid of touching fish… That rumour circulated in our office for a while today. I’m going to put a stop to it by going to a fish shop, buying some bait fish, and throwing them at people.