Playing with knives and part 2 of the story of the crazy Japanese man

Well I do believe I’m a prophet… I’d just written that heading and was going to talk about the exquisitely sharp leatherman I’d just been playing with when BAM (or more correctly SLICE) I shut it on my thumb. It hurts. Blood tastes funny. Metallic in fact. But the med students I’ve asked can’t explain why. My guess is that it has something to do with the iron content, and because I’m an iron man my blood must be extra metally tasting. So I’m feeling pretty retarded at the moment (sorry to all the politically correct people out there – but it’s technically true – my movement and thinking is somewhat inhibited). I was using the knife to stab myself in the arm anyway, so I probably deserved it. I haven’t gone all emo or self harm crazy or anything – I just had a funny pimple that needed probing… that’s probably a pretty disgusting thing to put on my blog – but that’s what you get here – you get my life, pimples and all…

So yesterday’s Japanese man story has a sequel. There maybe some ethical ramifications for posting this story on the internet – so to protect the identities of the parties involved I’m going to rename them. For the sake of this story the Japanese guy who was last seen handcuffed and heading off to the hospital yesterday will be called Bob. And the med student who handled the admission of said patient, and tracked down his family, will be called umm Nyrrik. Don’t go reversing either of those names, because the first one is a palindrome anyway so there’d be no point, and the second one, well that wouldn’t really protect anyone’s identity would it.

As Bob was pushed into the back seat of a police car (note the indefinite article – it wasn’t “the police car” because there were multiple police cars on the scene… that’s what happens when two different people call the police and one uses 000 while the other dials the direct line) I realised that Bob would probably be being taken to some sort of mental health type place – given that he’d exhibited all the signs of being slightly (well probably more than slightly) crazy. So I sent a message to Nyrrik, who is currently on a mental health rotation for her med studenting… or for her degree… to tell her to watch out for the crazy Japanese guy we’d just sent to the hospital. It turns out she was on duty and got to spend the day making important phone calls to educational institutes and diplomatic organisations trying to track down Bob’s family. I’m told this was a successful process. Bob is now under observation in the hospital. I’ve met plenty of crazy people before (I mean really crazy, not crazy like umm… Annod or Noraa or umm… some other people that none of you know) but this guy took the cake. Bob appeared to have led a fairly normal and competent life before this whole incident so I guess we can only hope he’ll eventually snap out of it. I blame drugs. I’m not sure that they’re actually responsible in this case, but they make a convenient social scapegoat.

Part three of the story is that the girl from work who looks after the Visitor Information Centres and volunteers gave me a packet of Tim Tams today which just goes to show that heroism pays off. I’m thinking of resigning and donning a cape and some tights. Actually, I wonder if I’d have to resign to do that…

And finally, as promised, I have a photo from my fishing adventure with I Fish. I’m not sure when the episode will air – but I’ll be sure to keep you posted. This fish was actually a lot bigger than I remembered it being – but in answer to your questions – yes I caught it, no it’s not trick photography, and no I’m not a wimp who’s afraid of touching fish… That rumour circulated in our office for a while today. I’m going to put a stop to it by going to a fish shop, buying some bait fish, and throwing them at people.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

15 thoughts on “Playing with knives and part 2 of the story of the crazy Japanese man”

  1. Nathan I’m concerned that two of these stories are history repeating itself. Is the new scar on the same thumb?

    I still love you, Mum xox

  2. Different thumb, different part of the thumb, different kind of cut – I couldn’t see bone or tendon – just blood.

  3. Glad you put in that explanation for why you’re not Emo. Emo was the first crime I was going to accuse you of.
    Although Emo isn’t really a grammatical crime, so technically it’s way out of my jurisdiction.
    I can’t believe you have a job where you can throw bait fish at people and not get fired. I’m in the wrong profession, dammit! (I should really be an ice hockey player, because my favourite activity in the world is hitting people with sticks.)

  4. You know i saw a documentary once about people up north boiling cane toads and inhaling the fumes to get high. Maybe crazy Japanese man tried this? Townsville is weird!

  5. As soon as I read “Nyrrik” I thought “right, what’s that backwards?” Anyway… turned out my look-at-it-backwards instinct was indeed correct. I didn’t know you knew Nyrrik.

    But yeah, good blog today. Entertaining and you got to show off your fish. :P

  6. That is really quite an amazing fish. Did you name him?

    ‘Tony’ is a good name for a fish, but you can’t have it. After thirteen or so years, I’ve finally decided to name my piano.

    I shall call him ‘Tony’, and shall be mine. And he shall be my Tony.

  7. Here goes my 6 replies in one comment post again…

    Grammar Nazi – you could become a kendo instructor.

    Jo – toads up here are being turned into fertiliser up here – I’m not sure that was it.

    Leah – yes, I know Kirryn. I’ve known her for almost 2 years. Yes today’s blog was good wasn’t it.

    Do you want to do some press release writing for a local business?

    Andrew – yes it is a wonderful tool – but all I did was brighten the image so that you could see me behind the fish.

    Scott – I haven’t named my fish – but I did name my car, or at least two slightly intoxicated girls who Tim and I provided transport to named it Percy, Percy the purple excel.

    Miriam – would the police arrest a hero? I think not…

  8. People are being quite complimentary about your blog. I would have to agree, and have done some quick research to provide some evidence that there are far worse blogs out there than yours. Here’s a quote from one, if you can handle reading the whole thing:

    Right now I’m sick and dead tired lol.. Couldn’t understand a single thing my physics lecturer was crapping about lol~.. talking about dimensions and stuff etc, though she spent more than an hour trying to explain to all of us, I doubt none of them understood as I could see some of tehm dozing off in their seats and nodding their heads regardless the what she said was right or wrong, LOL.. Well, IT maths was ok i guess, practically a revision of addmath and a few additions here and there, but then attending this lecture totally concludes something, MY BRAIN HAS TOTALLY ROT!! lol~ almost 6 months of pure piggyness at home, watching anime whenever i have the time has totally turned me into a super duper piggy lol, great~ lol.. i don’t think that’s something to be proud of, huh? lol.. ended up sleeping quite late last night due to my early bedtime for the past few nights, imagine me, sleeping as early as 1030pm, that is soooo totally not me lol, so i suppose i took a “night off” and chatted with my friend till it was quite early in the morning lol~

    Interesting, no? My brain has totally rot after that.

  9. It’s nice to know that the 5 years I spend completing a 3 year degree were not completely wasted.

    I can blog better than a maths student and I can write press releases.

    And I can write post modern musicals – check out philnsmiz.blogspot.com

  10. Evidently the above blog quoted by Matt must have been written by a student who goes to QUT. Bad grammar, bad lecturers and a lack of understanding of basic teaching…..

  11. and the over use of the accronym- lol…at least nine times in that convo. I would like to introduce a new accornym into the internet scene. It is IAGTWLOLTMYTIFETIN-MLIARB, which stands for I Am Going To Write Laugh Out Loud To Make You Think This Is Funny, Even Though Its Not – My Life Is Actually Really Boring…i think it will take the world by storm…at least people who tell the truth might use it. Or- IANLOLBIKTTWABF- I Am Not Laughing Out Loud But I Kinda Thought That Was A Bit Funny. ….these will be all over the net soon- so you better start learning.

  12. Maddie, I just checked Google, with this disappointing result:
    “Your search – IAGTWLOLTMYTIFETIN-MLIARB – did not match any documents.
    Suggestions:
    Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
    Try different keywords.
    Try more general keywords.
    Try fewer keywords.”

    I’ll check again tomorrow to see if your helpful acronym has made more progress in getting all over the web by then. Here’s hoping -lol!

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