Confessions #4: When I’m sick I wish I was faking it

I’m struck down with a case of man flu today. I don’t really have a voice anymore. My throat hurts. Last night I had a bizarre bout of shivering complete with chattering teeth. I think I’m actually sick. And I hate it. It seems like such a waste of a day at home. There are heaps of things I’d rather do while not being where I’m meant to be. I could watch movies. I could make grass angels in the yard (like snow angels but not).

Today is a rainy and miserable day too. Perfect for watching movies and drinking hot drinks. In front of a fire. But I feel dreadful. I’m still in bed. How I wish I was faking it.

Chucking a sickie is awesome. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off captured the sickie zeitgeist and also provided me, in my childhood, with a foolproof method of creating clammy skin. Lick your hands. Rub your forehead. Wallah. A day off. Faking diarrhea is always good too – because it’s almost completely unverifiable (who wants to check) and it has that awkwardness about it that means people don’t ask questions when you’re phoning it in.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

4 thoughts on “Confessions #4: When I’m sick I wish I was faking it”

  1. hope you feel better by the arvo so you can enjoy it in a fake sickie kinda way

    ps- nice use of ‘wallah’

  2. As a presbyterian padawan you are learning that Tuesday is the best day to take off with flu.
    You’ve probably already had Monday off, so you get a better break, and you are the maximum number of days away from Sunday still remaining, thus pretty much ensuring that you’ll be in some sort of shape to carry out pulpit duties.
    The force is strong with you.

    1. Even better Gary – tomorrow is Ekka holiday (that’s our show for the southerners following along). And we don’t have college on Mondays. So by strategically being sick today I’ve managed to string together a five day weekend. What a waste of a good sickie.

  3. I got a smile out of the references to politicians making appearances at ‘Brisbane’s Ekka show’ or the like in media reports last weekend.
    The tautology was cute. (and also vaguely reminiscent of the Goodies’ ‘ecky thump’)
    It’s either ‘ekka’ or ‘show’.
    If they have to use both they might as well have just called it the ‘Exhibition’ or the ‘agricultural show’.
    Hope you make partial recovery tomorrow with possible chance of relapse Thursday.
    I’ve also been meaning to ask you how much it costs to send a kg of coffee to post code 5290.

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