A bit fishy

After Saturday’s garage sale efforts i’m the proud owner of a new fish tank. Bartering in person is so much more fun than bidding on things on ebay. I got two fish tanks (a 4 foot one and a 1 foot one) for $20. At the next garage sale we went to I bought a brand new industrial fish tank pump for $35 (retails at $160, priced at $50 – the guy selling it used to run an aquarium). My strategy is to have a limited range of bank notes in my wallet – then you can say I only have $X amount – will you take it? Most people say yes. Other purchase highlights include – a fish tank stand $5, a set of Remington Hair Clippers (working) $2.50, two beer mugs – $1 and a set of book shelves (with 5 Ben Elton books thrown in) $20. That was a highlight too – the lady was asking $25 for the shelves and $1 each for the books. I already own copies of all the books so these are my lending copies. The experience on the whole was, in the words of the mastercard adds – priceless. Tim and Craig – my garage sale companions – were suitably excited by their tuperware purchases.

The absolute purchase highlight deserves a paragraph of it’s own. I am now the proud owner of a golden, plastic bust statue of our illustrious former Prime Minister Robert (Bob) Hawke. But wait, there’s more. Not only is it a life like representation of Labors woolly haired union powerhouse – it doubles as a drinks dispenser. With a lid on his crown and a tap in his chest it’s the perfect party centrepiece. And how much would you pay for this item? Mum’s probably wondering how much I would pay for this item. Cast aside your fears. While the woman selling this triumph of political humour was almost unwilling to part with her effigious (I hope that’s a word – what do you reckon Kutz?) masterpiece. She had priced it at a fairly reasonable 50 cents. Not 50 cents the rapper – 50 cents the currency. Not to be deterred by this desire to price said statue out of the market – I approached the vendor with my counter offer of 30 cents which she duly accepted. It now sits atop my recently purchased bookshelves. I’m trying to decide whether Bob needs a hat to complement his golden brow.

The other highlight of our morning’s jaunt down garage sale lane was an actual “Garage Sale” – a used car yard had advertised its garage sale in nominal garage sale column in the weekend classifieds.

Unfortunately my quest for both Kitschy and kitchy glass ware will have to be continued in another time at another place.

Other weekend highlights included my stint as a Big League vendor (I got to use the word vendor twice – now three times – in the one entry. That has to be some sort of record.) at Friday night’s grand final rematch between the Cowboys and the Tigers. We took our place amongst people promoting worthy causes such as junior rugby league and returned veterans – their spiels were eluting a much emotive response from patrons. I felt it was my responsibility to take a stand for the poor, big, multi national media conglomerates behind the NRL’s official match programmes. Cries of “support junior rugby league” and “raise money for our wounded veterans” were soon drowned out by my best, most boomingest (not a word – unless Kutz has an opinion to the contrary) voice yelling “GET YOUR BIG LEAGUES – SUPPORT NEWS LIMITED.” Needless to say – I got some dirty looks, but I sold a lot of copies so that’s ok. That’s the price you pay for success I guess and I’ve always got the cold, approving stare of former Prime Minister Bob Hawke to go home to.


Mel says:

I hate garage sales, 2nd hand shops etc. You never really know what they’ve done with the items. Eg. with the clippers – they could have used it on a dog with rabies. There is always a reason why someone is trying to get rid of it. Maybe the fish tank was used in a crime.. Murder by drowning? Think about that next time you are bargaining. You could be talking to a criminal!

mel says:

Hey Maddie – are you playing netball next thursday? you played really well last week. great work!

Mel says:

Jo – where were you at church last night? – we missed you

Nathan says:


This is not a forum to send messages to my sisters. If they wanted to boost their internet popularity they could start their own blogs.

it’s funny that the words sanity and sanitary are so similar. I am sane enough to consider the possibility of the clippers having been used on a dog with rabies so will take the necessary sanitary precautions before use.

Nathan says:

Oh, I also bought a power drill for $5 – I’m a real boy (man) now. Pinnochio references are all the rage in my little world.

Anonymous says:

totally agree mel… my mum once smacked me on the bottom with a wooden spoon and then sold it at our garage sale. now someone is probably eating cake with bottom germs on it

jo says:

mel in answer to your questions:
I was down the coast, missed you too. Maddie wont be at netball cause she is up the coast.

matt says:

Sam, sure you don’t want the little box-fan I offered on Wednesday night?
If you don’t want it I will make it available to anyone who wants it – just leave a message in the comments.

Ben Eastgate says:

I want a picure of the statue.

Nathan says:

When we finally get internet at home I will provide said picture.

miriam says:

nath, i reckon you need to try ‘hard rubbish day’ as victorians call it. all you do is go crawling through people’s big rubbish items such as chairs, t.v.s etc… One man’s junk, another man’s treasure. plus, it’s free!!!!

daniel says:

Yeah – I’m with Ben. Although your description of the drink dispenser makes it sound incredible, at a price of 50c I reckon you’re all talk.

Surely everyone in Townsville knows that you’re around and would therefore be asking a “kings ransom” for such a great piece of Australiana.

Nathan says:


I’ve always wanted to do that.

Nathan says:

That’ll teach you for trying to edit my blog.

To paraphrase an old song

“it’s my blog and I’ll punctuate how I want to.”

I propose a new grammatical rule – a comma can be used in the place of a conjunction – because it’s presence implies the presence of a conjunction linking two clauses. I like that rule. It’s much more efficient.

I could have written “Craig is someone I’m developing a healthy respect for because he invented the word procrastineating.”

“Craig is someone I’m developing a healthy respect for, he invented the word procrastineating” makes just as much sense to me.

Nathan says:

Also – if you’re going to post a message in response to a grammatical issue in one of my posts – at least have the decency to respond to the right post.

Anonymous says:


Anonymous says:

But I knew you could delete… like you can with this one.

Anonymous says:

BTW, it’s only cos the blog is worth keeping up to the current high standards. (And how many other blogs have the benefit of an editor?)

Aaron says:

hey smiley,
I understand talking down the price for the fish tanks and stuff. But talking down Bob Hawke from 50c to 30c! That’s just a little pathetic.

what did phil say!! It was probably the best thing ever!