A Panda walked into a bar…

It strikes me that it’s been a while since I actually wrote anything substantial (ie of substance) on this blog. I’m not sure that this trend will be broken in this post – but I am trying to think of something serious and important to write about.

You may notice, if you’re bored enough to go to Tim’s blog (and bored enough to read it when you get there), that he’s posted some form of response to my diatribe on hippies the other day. You may also notice in the comments on that there’s a comment there from a guy who looks like he’s stepped off the set of a Star Wars movie. That is Scooter. For the benefit of my Brisbane readers – he’s related to the Poysers. For the benefit of my blog readers – he’s related to MIP. For the benefit of people who have no idea what I’m talking about – MIP is a Poyser, and Scooter is a cousin of said family. Anyway – Scooter also now has a blog.

On Thursday night at 12am I got on a 68 foot boat to go fishing. I was accompanying I Fish – Channel Ten’s very popular fishing show. In short… I caught one fish, and didn’t get sea sick, so the trip was considered a success. I also didn’t manage to catch any sleep. I can’t take a photo of the sleep I didn’t catch, but I will be able to upload a picture of my fish sometime next week. When I got home from fishing I smelled like I’d been fishing, and I was very tired. When I say home, I mean when I got back to work. I had an afternoon appointment with a marketing salesperson from the Financial Review. She gave me an umbrella. It is yellow and white. It was almost worth going to work for. Have you noticed that when you write short sentences it immeadietly sounds more childlike? Or maybe I’m using less erudite words. I am still tired.

Last night I went to my first Youth Surge event. Somehow I always managed to be busy when Youth Surges were on in Brisbane. I’m happy to report that it wasn’t bad. It was in fact good. We had a youth group leaders training session this morning which was also good. I’ve been doing some thinking about how youth groups work over the last few weeks – and when I’m in a less tired state I’ll share my thoughts on youth group via my blog.

Tim and I dined at Sizzler this afternoon and I’d like to make a point about the importance of grammar, and particularly punctuation, based on my experiences. I ordered the special of the day – rib eye and prawn skewers. I was looking forward to my nice juicy steak with a side of prawns… It turns out I should have looked more closely at the sign, because I was shocked when the waitress delivered my sizzling prawn skewers with some meat coloured vegetables on the skewer and no juicy steak on the plate. I think they should have more clearly deliniated words on the menu board. Only the Grammar Nazi, and Scooter, would have picked up on that subtle distinction. It’s like that old joke about the panda who walked into a bar.

Have you ever noticed that when you write lol it looks like a man with his arms in the air? I’m not going to write much on what I think about people who write “lol” when they’re not actually laughing out loud. I should point out that with inverted commas it looks like the little man has just moved his arms there. So now I’d like to present you with a series of excercises based on the lol man.

| |

( \o/ )
( || )

_/ \_

( \o/ )
( /\ )
‘ || ‘

I guess by series I meant one star jump. You have no idea how much time I wasted figuring that out. There’s a whole range of artwork out there created using letters – it’s called ASCII art – very, very, nerdy stuff.


Anonymous says:

12am on Thursday night hey…that doesnt make sense at all. It would either be thursday morning or friday morning…

Andrew (weather nut) says:

I sit just me or does this entry seem well, a little bit askew. I think the author keeps saying the same thing from different angles, or reversing things and changing his mind, almost like he has nothing of extreme importance to say…..

Perhaps he is distracted. I know that I have being, well, having my mind on other things recently, in the pas few weeks anyway….. (did you miss me?)

Nathan says:

maybe you’re tired. I told my humble readers several important things.
1. Tim updated his blog
2. Scooter started a blog
3. I went fishing and caught a fish
4. the fairfax marketing lady gave me an umbrella
5. I went to Youth Surge
6. We had a youth group leaders training day today
7. I went to Sizzler
8. Punctuation is important
9. I’m very, very nerdy and have too much time on my hands.

Unfortunately I didn’t make it to 10.

What’s distracting you weather nut? Have you met some nice weather girl or something?

RjB says:

Is is just me or does your previous comment (point two) need punctuation? I don’t understand what you are trying to say (other than the fact that anonymous’ comment was stupid, but I think that we all understand that).

Nathan says:

you’re right, it does require punctuation.

Nathan says:

anonymous I’m not speaking to you for three reasons.

1. You posted as anonymous.
2. Your point is stupid. It wasn’t a nonsensical statement. I’d argue that is wasn’t a redundancy either, but a further clarification because many people are confused when it comes to the whole morning/night conundrum. 12am is still night time even if it’s morning – night time doesn’t run from 12pm till 12am, it’s based on when it’s dark.
3. You’re clearly not the kind of person I should be answering because I struggle to speak the truth with love to you based on points 1 and 2. You’re lucky I’m such a nice guy and didn’t have the heart to poke fun at your stupidly unoriginal name.

Anonymous says:

You’re right. I would have picked up on the rib eye skewer things. Maybe.
Or it’s possible I would never even had noticed just ’cause I never order things with prawns on them.
I have a bad track record with prawns.
I like the Panda joke. Not because it’s especially clever, but just ’cause I like stories about people/things shooting up bars.
Assignments are the devil. I’m using your comment page as a procrastination tool. A thousand apologies.
*more silence*
So I guess I’ll just go now.

Andrew (the opera singer) says:

What’s the Panda / bar joke?

Madd says:

WOW- http://www.chris.com/ASCII/….that stuff is amazing. People just have too much time on there hands, but i appreciate the art form.

Scott says:

Hmm.. I had no idea that “lol” looked like a little man with his arms in the air.

Thankyou, Nathan. Your blog has opened my eyes to view life from an entirely different perspective.

Of course, it only works in certain fonts, and because it’s an acronym it should really be in upper case letters.

But thanks for advertising me in your blog! Now I don’t have to do a shameless auto-plug.

Scott says:

Hey cool. I also feel special because I get a little photo next to my name.

Anonymous says:

You should do a blog on the word ‘it’
eg. when ‘it’ rains. What is it?

Anonymous says:

And I agree with Andrew, what is the panda joke

The Grammar Nazi says:

So this panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly-punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

This particular version of the panda joke probably copyright to the chick that wrote the book, “Eats, Shoots and Leaves: the Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.”
I accidentally posted as anonymous before. Oops.

Mark says:

According to Nathan’s numbering scheme:

2. Hi Scott. Long time no see/talk/write/email/telepathize/otherwise communicate. How’s things in NQ. Since I tried out Jo’s delete-your-own comment thing I’ve been using a blogger id with “mark” rather than “MIP”

3,4. Glad you caught a fish Nathan, did you get to be on TV? Have you needed to use your brolly?

7,8. I think it’s endemic to Sizzler Nathan. Since my last bad experience with ordering a “special” that wasn’t what was actually advertised, and a rather rude manager I don’t go to Brookside Sizzler any more.

(He went over to the board, wiped away the offending bits, and then came back and ignored my order.)

8. The panda book is very cool. On my “to buy” list – which probably cements me firmly in the nerd category, though I’m not in the same class as Nerds FC.

Mattias says:

Oh, you deleted a post, was it an interesting one? 5+ material?


hm, may look like a man digged into the sand with his hands and head sticking up? bent both his hands with the wind as well. Which is actually quite uncomfortable… having serious trouble actually doing it.. with my arms straight..

The Grammar Nazi says:

Owning the Panda book doesn’t make you a nerd!
*kicks Panda book under the bed, just in case*

Mark says:

onwing the panda book doesn’t make you a nerd – it could have been a gift

Donna says:

SCOOTER!!! Why didn’t you TELL me you had a blog too?? Gosh. Everyone in the whole world has a blog now, except for me. And that isn’t going to change any time soon… And it would have made a whole lot more sense to post this in YOUR blog, where you’re more likely to read it… Going there now. Bye.

Serge says:

SMiley… i still can’t believe you had all that quality for a fishing trip… and u caught one littly Nannygai. But i guess it’s better than catching a cold. When is the report on the hunt for the ladies going to be posted? or have u nade the mistake of letting them know u have a blog? Big mistake if tbat’s the case