Cannibal (press) corps(e)

The battle for the hearts and minds of the average stupid Australian (or the below average Australian, or the 2.6million viewers who tune in nightly to Current Affairs programming on Australian commercial television) between Channel 7’s Today Tonight and Channel 9’s A Current Affair stooped to an all time low this week with the mission to save little Papua village menu item Waa Waa. Waa Waa is an example of nominal onomatopoeia – he’s a very sad little boy. Sad because his parents died horribly and suddenly when he was a smaller boy. And sad because as a result his village have decided he’s cursed and like all cursed little Papuan children he must be eaten. Now, not wishing to make light of little Waa Waa’s situation – it’s no laughing matter really. The media feeding frenzy surrounding his situation is causing a bit of a stir as each media outlet seeks to save the fortunes of the little fella. Today Tonight’s queen of shtick, Naomi Robson, and her crew made a secret dash to Papua (partially to escape the negative stigma surrounding her decision to don the khaki in tribute to Steve Irwin)… only it turned out to be not so secret… and not so legal – the team were discovered to be working on tourist visas and were promptly deported. Their head of programming has accused Nine’s 60 minutes reporter who covered the original story of shamefully (or shamelessly) tipping off the authorities and leaving the poor boy to his fate. Claims Nine vehemently deny. They also believe leaving Waa Waa in his village in the foreseeable future is better than forcibly removing him at this tender stage of life (hopefully not too tender) as he’s not scheduled for the dinner plate for another 10 years or so. The story provides both networks with a little fodder for doing what they do best – and that’s eating one another.

The title of this post of course refers to popular(sic) death metal band the Cannibal Corpse and is a play on the situation and the press corp. Clever hey.

In other news it seems the best way to earn a stay of metaphorical execution in a high profile case under the Australian judicial system is to attempt suicide (at least if you’re Steve Vizard’s book keeper).

It seems the SMH have answered my long standing economics and employment theory – supply and demand means the crappiest jobs require the highest pay – it’s all about scale really – cleaning toilets in outback WA is probably worth 4 times what I earn…

Beazley and Howard seem determined to have all Australians singing from the same songbook (quite literally – at least in the mind of a talkback caller who suggested all Australians should know the words to the national anthem). They’re putting mateship on top of the pile of Australian values – which is all nice and stuff but the SMH has different ideas about the priorities and the issue at hand here, and here, and here.

Former Lord Mayor of Brisbane, Jim Soorley is a first rate spanner (that’s a tool). I can’t read his column without wanting to simultaneously write some form of complaint about his poor standards of intellectual engagement with an issue, blow up his letter box, and punch the nearest inanimate object. Luckily, impulse control is something I’m working on.

Stay tuned for my in depth profile of the seminal influence on my Art Rock career – it should be online in the next couple of days.

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago… you can look up that sign off online if you want a clue.


Tim says:

It was Papua not PNG which is a part of indonesia which is why they got expelled. PNG wouldn’t care how they got there

Nathan says:

I knew that. And I knew I made a mistake as soon as I sent it. Here comes the correction…

leah says:

Wesley Willis.

And 120k for cleaning toilets?… I’m not entirely sure I believe it. Probably on a mine site somewhere.

Someone get rid of Naomi Robson, what has she actually done right…

Joel says:

This is one time we will actually agree on the topic of media Leah. Naomi Robson embodies everything I dislike about the media.

Anonymous says:

Opinion poll:

Tracy vs Naomi

Mel vs Jessica

Karl vs Kochie

Grant vs Steve

Joel says:

I think thats an even call between channel 7 and channel 9.
I would go for Tracy, Mel, Karl and Grant, more for a dislike of their counterparts than a like for them (apart from Grant and Steve, they are cool. It appears that short, kwirky (sp?) weather men are the oder of the day).

However, channel 9 just might pip channel 7 to the post because they have a better music/hollywood guy in Richard Wilkins. Sunrise has that annoying gay guy who actually thinks that people care that we finally have pictures of baby Suri.

Heres a question. Who annoys you more? Bert Newton or Andrew O’keefe (that annoying host of that annoying show deal or no deal). Ignore the fact that they both host terrible game shows. I think I would have to go for Bert Newton, just because he makes me want to vomit every time i see him.

Joel says:

Short funny weather men are actually the order of the day as opposed to the oder of the day.

Nathan says:

Tracy, Jessica, Karl, neither.

I like people with journalistic credentials. As much as Jessica’s giggling annoys me she’s actually a fairly qualified reporter. Karl is a QUT graduate. I don’t like either short weather guy. I also hate/detest/loathe Richard Wilkins.

Having seen a little bit of the Big Bite on pay TV I actually really like Andrew O’Keefe – he’s a very funny sketch comedy actor. Bert used to have some panache but now he’s just a sleazy old man with a round face.

Mark says:

The polarisation and extremity of opinions (love/hate, loathe, detest, etc) against or for public figures/pop culture is something that bemuses me.

On what basis is that depth of emotion generated at such a personal level?

Can you really claim to know who they are based on their public persona (unless it’s Steve Irwin)?

Nathan says:

His hair. His manner. His saccharine smile.

On those three basis I condemn him. (Richard Wilkins that is)

Mark says:

Oh, that’s ok then.