Escaped animals

Some animals should be kept in cages. Certainly these emos should be kept safely in their paddocks. Goats should definitely never be ‘scaped. Having played the role of the scape goat professionally for the very first time I can reveal that it is an unpleasant experience.

I now thoroughly endorse Eddie McGuire’s policy of terminating the employment of all the stupid people at Channel 9. Hopefully he’ll leave the locker room pretty stale (as in not Fresh).

It would seem Fr*sh were less than happy with a few elements of their Townsville visit – and the AFCM director was less than happy with Fr*sh, and in turn less than happy with me. As the most junior member of the Fr*sh trip I became the “fall guy.” Luckilly I’d kept all my correspondence with the Fr*sh Producer and AFCM so the buck was passed back up the chain. Not before Townsville Ent*rprise’s good name (and my reputation) were besmirched in certain circles. If you want a happy career – never work with children, animals or television personalities. The Fresh producer is the first woman I’ve met with short man syndrome. I’ve never met such a belligerent** and vindictive person – she was so lovely to deal with – until something came back to bite her. It’s not my fault that she couldn’t schedule a film shoot properly. I didn’t force her crew to stay up drinking till 3am the morning before a shoot. Grrr (that’s the first and last time I’ll spell out a sound like that on my blog. It’s a little hackneyed. It’s not even onomatopoeia – i’m pretty sure “growl” would be the word I was looking for there – I’ll make up for it by using cool words wherever possible tonight).

On the bright side, a number of really cool people backed me up. Which was nice. Our Chairman, CEO, and my manager in particular. And the totally awesome AFCM Public Relations guru who is now writing me a glowing reference which I can use to fight the good fight against the opression of the national media powerhouse that is Lyndey Milan. I hope she googles herself today. I wouldn’t put it past her to be doing that every day. I’ve never met anyone who’s been directly two faced before. This blog entry is slightlty cathartic. Maybe I should make it slightly defamatory as well, but at this point I’ve managed to keep it tied to the truth – despite the Fresh team’s flagrant* disregard for virtuous conduct.

And here I was thinking the trip had gone well. Ignorance truly is bliss. I think I’d prefer to be oblivious of any machinations behind the scenes (are machinations always behind the scenes? I guess they can be transparent) that are not my doing.

There ends the rant.

I really have no other news actually. Homestarrunner has finally been updated again.

So the words I taught the kids today were umm fangoriously, besmirched, belligerent, hackneyed, flagrant and umm linebacker…

Somebody needs to go get an icecream sandwich…***

*I told someone I’d use that word today.
** and that one.
*** for the uninitiated that was from here

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

6 thoughts on “Escaped animals”

  1. What’s the AFCM? I’m sure you’ve expanded it before, but I couldn’t be bothered looking.

  2. I’ve been taught that in protection from machinations, overt or covert, “He who has the most [relevant] documentation wins.”

  3. The new Marzipan answering machine isn’t as funny as the old one. I only laughed once – at the money pie one.
    Nothing can beat ‘goatface’ and ‘this your friends, you owe us some money w/ bake us a cake rap’

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