May contain nuts

Vegetarians have struck a blow for good taste and Mars have backed down from a controversial decision to revisit a traditional method of chocolate making which involved the use of animal products in their chocolate bars – the anti-animal crackers* have stormed the offices of Mars Inc demanding they cease and desist – 6000 complaint calls were made from the UK’s estimated population of 3 million vegetarians and vegans. Methinks Mars would have saved themselves the trouble if they’d included a “May contain traces of cow” warning on their label and listed the ingredient rennet as “cow stomach” right from the beginning.

The powerfully stupid lobby group known as the general populace (also known as the audience of Today Tonight and A Current Affair) have struck a few blows lately with the Howard Government introducing a fairness test to placate those voters who are worried that the new IR laws will lead to a decrease in working conditions for ordinary Australians. Does anybody actually know anyone who has been personally disadvantaged by the IR laws? There’s plenty to suggest that employment has gone up since their introduction – and only anecdotal and occasional news stories about the abuse of the new IR freedoms. Labor and the unions have been peddling their idealistic opposition to the IR platform like a deviant drug dealer dishing out dime bags of dope to school children – repeating the mantra “a bridge to far” like a group of monks hell bent on hypnotising the electorate.

Crikey contained a very interesting opinion piece on politics today which made some good points about the way the government seem to be unable to get their fairly compelling message (a good track record of managing the economy) across to the electorate. I guess their handling of the “emotional” issues like climate change, David Hicks, the war on Iraq and other hot topics (a little climate change joke there…) has overshadowed any other achievements they may like to hang their hats on. I’m still not convinced that wall to wall Labor governments is in our best interests. One look at water, health, infrastructure and education – areas the State Government is meant to look after suggests Labor aren’t doing their job at a state level – and they’re all the one party people… Maybe I just don’t like Rudd – and maybe it’s because everyone else seems to (a little like my disdain for U2) and maybe it’s because the Prime Minister called me an “enterprising Townsvillian” when I met him last week, but I don’t like the idea of the polls translating to actual success on election day.

Anyway, one last thing for all you conspiracy theorists out there – the Townsville Bulletin ran a small ad on page 3 today which has uncovered what I believe is a very scary possibility – the existance of a Secret Government Agency (SGA) dedicated to creating an army of psycho psychics who have no qualms about murder and other unconscionable crimes. Brian Pedder was a human lab rat who was regularly abducted by this SGA – for some reason he now remembers the atrocities he committed while under their power. It’s compelling reading, but a little scary that this guy paid for advertising space in a regional newspaper seeking anyone who he may or may not have committed crimes against in the past. I can only wonder if it’s not some sort of viral marketing campaign for these web designers. But I think he thinks he’s for real…

* At the very least they don’t like animal crackers in their soup…

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

One thought on “May contain nuts”

  1. is there a way you can change the colour of hyperlinks on this thing? Light grey on white really ain’t good… even normal-colour-seeing people have problems seeing that ;)

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