Force sale: Q&A

The bidding war for Luke Skywalker continues to rage. At the moment it’ll only set you back $3.76.

It is attracting some important questions from ebay user Bluesky_Mike. I have two theories for the identity of Bluesky_Mike based on some revealing previous purchases. I have one friend named Mike who is a VirginBlue employee and a Parramatta Eels fan, I have another friend named Mike who is also a Parramatta Eels fan. Bluesky_Mike purchased some Boeing memorabilia and a retro Eels Jersey so my money is on the first candidate.

Here are some important questions you may want/need answered if considering a purchase:

Q: Is ok for a grown man to make the lightsabre “woosh” with this figurine? 12-Feb-09
A: I would think it’s always ok for a grown man to make the lightsabre “woosh”. I’m not sure the figurine is required for that. It will however help you figure out the best grip and stance for your lightsabre bouts. But be careful, making the lightsaber “woosh” at inappropriate times can have serious consequences. I would recommend warning people prior to “wooshing” in order to minimise the effect.
Q: After the purchase of this item, can I change my name to be known as Luke Skywalker? 12-Feb-09
A: You can do that before you purchase the item. A quick trip to court and a small fee and you’d be set. However, I suggest purchasing the item is a good way to help start your new life as Mr Skywalker. The figurine provides an essential guide to dressing like a Jedi and Jedi posture.
Q: Just enquiring about local pickup?? 11-Feb-09
A: As I said above – local pickup can be arranged. There is a tax on people who ask the same question twice.
Q: Will I become a Jedi if I buy this item? 11-Feb-09
A: I can’t really answer that question – except to say that you almost definitely won’t become a Jedi if you don’t buy this item. Purchasing for an exorbitant price and placing it on your mantel piece as something to aspire to will no doubt take you small steps closer to your Jedi dream. Failing that you can tick “Jedi” on the next Australian census and your dreams will become a reality. You should still definitely buy it though. It will be a useful token of your progress to fully fledged Jediism – and a real seal of authenticity to ratify your quest. Thankyou for your question. I look forward to doing business with you. I will be selling more of my unopened Star Wars collection in coming days. Stay tuned. May the Force be somewhat closer to you.
Q: Does it include “The Force”? 11-Feb-09
A: No, the Force will cost extra. Please contact me upon completion of the auction to negotiate a rate. Being trained in use of the Force requires licensing and registration of your mind as a weapon under Australian law. Please check with your state’s criminal code to see if you can actually engage in this training in your home state.
Q: Just enquiring about local pickup?? 11-Feb-09
A: Local pick up is available.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

2 thoughts on “Force sale: Q&A”

  1. Just on a tangent from the whole “registering your mind as a weapon” thing, did you know that a black belt in tae-kwon-do is classified as a weapon… so if you or I attacked someone that would just be battery or whatever, but if a black belt did it, that would be classified as battery with a weapon, which is a worse charge.

    Oh, and light sabres don’t make WHOOSH sounds. Come ON. It’s more of a “woooooom”.

    Ewan McGregor’s uncle was a fighter pilot in the original 3 star wars, when Ewan was a child. Ewan always thought it would be awesome to have his own light sabre. He got his wish :P

    (And had to be told off by George Lucas for making the light sabre sound effects while filming. Haha.)

    1. Yes I did know that.

      Did you know that the expression “rule of thumb” comes from the fact that in the good old days men could beat their wives with anything thinner than their thumbs and it wasn’t classed as assault.

      No I didn’t know that stuff about Ewan McGregor.

      I really am not au fait with the correct onomatopoeia for lightsaber motion. So I’ll let you have that one. I did however only write the answer and not the question.

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