1. Actually be too sick to turn up to work.
2. Phone in yourself, and don’t put on a “sick voice”.
3. Offer to do work from home.
4. Actually do work from home.
5. Take cold and flu medication and try to indulge in the “natural remedies” suggested by your blog readers.
6. Accept your condition with well practiced stoicism – don’t complain about the bouts of dizziness, condition induced sleep deprivation, hacking cough and nose that feels like it has been punched several times by a 400 pound heavyweight boxer.
7. Go to the doctor and get a medical certificate to justify your continued absence from work.
8. Sound as cheery as possible when your wife wakes you up as she leaves for work.
Have I missed anything?