How to sell a dodgy washing machine

So you’ve got a monstrous washing machine sitting in your laundry and it’s time for an upgrade. Landfill is so last millennium so you should probably just sell it online…


The best way to do this is to follow this guy’s lead

Honesty is always the best policy…

“On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.”
Thankfully it’s bite is not as bad as it’s bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it’s supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it’s running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I’m still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.

Dinosaur scare thing – I forgot to mention that – if honesty fails, introduce dinosaurs…

“Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze.”

“I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw incase people didn’t believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.”

And again, if that fails, suggest upgrade options – it’s a renovator’s dream…

“I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.”

I don’t know what the regular market for second hand top loader washing machines in New Zealand is – but this one’s going for more than $800.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

One thought on “How to sell a dodgy washing machine”

  1. Ah Nathan – you made my day so much more enjoyable with this one (and did you know that it is now up to $2600 – I am sure there is something in that for your marketing guru man)

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