Life is like a box of chocolates

Below is a complaint letter I just sent to Cadbury. Lets hope something comes of it.

Name of Product: Favourites
Weight of product: 600gm
Best before date and batch number: 12/07/10 N 01:50
Where did you purchase this product: Gift
Subject for your Email: Favourites box comes without favourite chocolates

Dear Cadbury Chocolatiers,

I am a long term fan of your product. I consider myself a chocolate aficionado and believe that Cadbury’s quality is unmatched on the supermarket shelves – and indeed is on par with the expensive stuff you can only buy at fancy chocolate shops.

A box of Cadbury’s Favourites is one of my favourite gifts. It’s much better than one of those Whitman’s Samplers or other generic chocolate box.

Cadbury’s Favourites are a yardstick for quality.

But you might notice I checked “complaint” when submitting this feedback. And I have a complaint, just a small one (though not about the reduced size of the chocolates in your Favourites selection – but I did notice the Cherry Ripe squares seem to have lost a centimetre or two… no doubt a casualty of the Global Financial Crisis).

Nay, my complaint is more serious. We recently received a 600gm box of Favourites as a gift. Which was terrific and very thoughtful. My wife is a teacher and you’d be surprised how many students think miscellaneous craft will suffice as a material reward for her year of service. It won’t.

I opened this box of Favourites – as is my due (I do, afterall, contribute to the report writing process and offer general moral support throughout the year), I opened the box and lo and behold there were none of my absolute favourite to be found. “A mistake,” thought I. An issue with distribution in the box due to density… perhaps. But no. I am now at the bottom of this 600gm box of Favourites – and to my dismay have only managed to unearth two Turkish Delight chocolates. That’s two. You can count them on less than a hand. A captured English Archer could still count them (the French historically chopped the fingers off archers captured during conflicts with England). Two. How can a product call itself “Favourites” while offering such lip service to the notion. Well, lip service is a misnomer – I certainly didn’t feel served. I know my wife didn’t eat them – she doesn’t like them. And it seems unlikely (though they are of value) that anybody has broken into our relatively secure home just to steal those chocolates from the box.

I was most disappointed Cadbury. I believe you can do better. Perhaps the balance of chocolate in these boxes needs to shift from the boring “Dairy Milk” squares (which I assume are designed to cater for the lowest denominator of chocolate consumption) to the fun stuff – like the Moros, the Picnics, Cherry Ripes, and of course my beloved Turkish Delights.

You are no doubt sick of hackneyed Forrest Gump references in these feedback forms – but the problem I have with this particular box is that I know exactly what chocolates I’m not going to get from the box. And they’re my favourites.


Nathan Campbell


Anika Q says:

Turkish Delights are my favourites too. (Can't stand the real thing, but Cadbury's version is wonderful.) Still, how many Cherry Ripes were in the box? Could be a pay-off thing….

Andrew says:

You should have included this photo of me as 'The English Archer' to illustrate your point:
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