Mathematicians like to ponder infinity. I think this is particularly stupid when it comes to fractions.

I heard some maths person on the ABC talking about how there’s an infinite number of numbers between two integers. That was a bit dumb.

The reason I’m talking about maths at all is because I just read my second favourite maths joke of all time, from Bill Bailey, via Wikipedia…

“An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first goes up to the bartender and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager, please.” The next one says, “and I’ll have half of what he’s having.” The bartender says, “You’re all idiots,” and pulls two pints.”

And this my friends, is a mathematical limerick.

The solution –

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

For the record, this is my favourite mathematical joke in condensed format…

An insane mathematician gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: “I’ll integrate you! I’ll differentiate you!!!” Everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one lady stays. The guy comes up to her and says: “Aren’t you scared, I’ll integrate you, I’ll differentiate you!!!” The lady calmly answers: “No, I am not scared, I am e^x.”

That, and other mathematical jokes, can be found here…

KutzBill Bailey's one was cool. The e^x one is horrible. Horrible. Horrible. (Like the opposite of holy, holy, holy)

Perhaps it was made worse by the fact that my high-school maths teacher told us at the beginning of year 11 that he knew the funniest joke in the world, that it was a maths joke, and that he wouldn't tell it to us until the last day of year 12.

That last day of year 12 was not a pretty one for our maths teacher.

Daniel Saundersthanks.