On my depth

I mentioned in a post a while ago that a dear friend and brother in the Lord suggested that I am “not deep” in a conversation before we left Townsville.

The comment stung, and I have been pondering it since, as deep people are wont to do.

I have come to this conclusion.

It’s not that I’m bad at being deep, I’m just better at being shallow.

I think, reflecting deeply (as capably as I can), this applies to relationships as much as it does to thought.

Furthermore, I wondered if using long and complicated words and explanations would give the appearance of depth. But I don’t think complexity is deep. And I think it’s harder to be clearly understood than it is to be complex. I’m not afraid of complexity – I just prefer the elegance of simplicity.

So there.

That is all.

2 Comments On my depth

  1. simone r

    Nathan.

    It sounds like you have been thinking very deeply on this. Well done.

    Can I offer some advice on appearing to be a deeper thinker?
    1. In a conversation, I imagine that what often happens is that someone describes a situation and you know immediately what's going on or what needs to be done. (Most often your assessment is correct.) My advice is, sit on it. Don't say it. Then come back the next day and say that you've thought about their situation and you think….. They'll think you are amazing (instead of arrogant)
    2. Let others take responsibility for the movement of the conversation. Don't sulk, but just don't say much. If you are asked a straight question, answer politely, but in such a way as it doesn't lead to more conversation. While you're not speaking, look as if you are wrapped up in your own deep deep thoughts.
    3. Carry around an anthology of indecipherable poems. Quote from it occasionally.
    4. Take your fonting and general desktop publishing style back to 1990. I know that it will hurt, but to some people, any attention to the more superficial things indicates a lack on the deeper levels.
    5. Read lots of self help books (or at least, buy such books and leave them on your coffee table) that try to get to the heart of the reasons why you are such a lousy sinner – daddy issues, heart hunger… whatever. When someone asks about one of your self help titles, wipe a tear from the corner of your eye…

    Yes, I see the irony in all this. Here is a superficial solution to the problem of lack of depth…

    I think it's all in how you define 'deep'. For many, depth is about obsessing about yourself – endlessly asking yourself why you are as you are and … There are whole aisles at koorong devoted to this kind of stuff. It takes an awful lot of time and energy.

    For me, deep is something else. It's about imagination and creativity – being able to take a situation/book/conversation, reflect on it, and turn it into something new. Produce something out of it that can be seen or heard, that moves people- a poem, a flyer, a helpful insight…

    For you it might be something else.

    I think we need to clarify terms. If we don't, 'depth' may be something only achievable by introverted melancholics.

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