Ninjas in the Bible

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Two of the passages I’ve been preparing for exams this semester have made me ponder a theology of ninjas. Some might say it’s anachronistic to read ninjas back into the pages of the Bible. But Ninjas are everywhere. Check out this passage from Isaiah 49…

“He made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
he made me into a polished arrow
and concealed me in his quiver.”

Ninja. Right. And let us not forget Ehud. The Left Handed Ninja Assassin.

No convinced? How about this… ninjas were also out to get Jesus. Luke 20:20-21.

“Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be sincere. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said, so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth.”

Which doesn’t look like much at face value, but in the Greek it reads:

“So they watched him and sent those hired to lie in wait who acted/pretended to be sincere…”

The word acted/pretended is the word we derive hypocrite from. But these guys were hired to lie in wait, blending into their surroundings, before striking. Ninjas.

5 thoughts on “Ninjas in the Bible”

  1. i think that paul was attacked by ninjas in 2 cor 11

    26 I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers.

    bandits = ninjas.

    1. I’m pretty sure the Zealots were also ninjas.

      I’m equally sure that having pointed this out the ninjas are now out to get us.

  2. My 6 year old agrees that 1 Samuel 26 proves David and Abishai are ninjas – creeping into Saul’s camp at night and taking his spear and water jug.

    1. Nathan Campbell

      Ooo. Yeah.

      Though I reckon 1-2 Samuel (and perhaps Judges as a prequel) is perfect narrative fodder for a mafia novel depicting two rival Godfathers (David and Saul) and their gangs. In a battle for one town. Joab is a Luca Brasi type. Abner is like the general who changes sides as the tide in the war is turning because his boss is going crazy. And if any of you steal that idea there’ll be horseheads. In your beds.

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