Tumblrweed: Yelping with Cormac McCarthy

Yelp is an online review/recommendation/gripe service which has recently launched in Australia. Cormac McCarthy is a southern gothic novelist, famous for such works as The Road.

Allegedly, if Cormac McCarthy were to Yelp, it would look like this:

Urban Outfitters

Union Square – San Francisco, CA

Cormac M. | Author | Lost in the chaparral, NM

Three stars.

And they come there in great numbers shuffling into that mausoleum that was built for them like some monument to the slow death of their world and among those tokens and talismans of that faded empire they forage like scavengers their faces frozen in a rictus of worldweary their clothes preworn in some tropical factory and they shop and they hunt with dullbrown eyes through that cavalcade of false trinkets and those shrinkwrapped mockeries laying there in silent indictment and they reach out to touch those trite things and their faces are slack but in their gullets a scream lies stillborn for they are the kings and the queens reigning over the death of their people and the world is not theirs and never was and the suffering and the horrors are not their doing but the work of their bankrupt forbears and before them stretches an abyss beyond man’s imagining and within their lifetime the promise of a coming reckoning measured in blood and in pestilence and they shuffle through that store near paralytic and finally they take a metal thing with a feather on it and they buy that thing.

If only YouTube comments and other feedback 2.0 looked read like this, the internet would be a more bearable place.