Just how do astronauts go to the toilet?
Author: Nathan Campbell
Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the pastor of City South Presbyterian Church, a church in Brisbane, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus. If you'd like to support his writing financially you can do that by giving to his church.
YouTube Tuesday: A Hinnderance
Apologies if you have seen this already (3 million people have). But this made me laugh. In a sad way. I know that ultimately Hinn and his ilk are harmful, but treatment like this can only lessen their influence… right?
Anyway, somebody set Benny Hinn’s “spiritual slayings” to this song that I only know of as a theme song from a wrestling show. His stuff is about as real as wrestling (ie only as real as the people in the audience think it is).
He even Hulks up in this video… watch it brother…
I don’t think the verse he’s looking for is in the Bible. And I’m almost certain this bit isn’t:
But his wife takes the cake…
The man scarf
I pride myself on being a bit of a manly man. I like football, red meat, and tinkering with bits of technology until they no longer work. I don’t wear v-neck t-shirts, or pastel colours, I can barely tell which side of most clothes shops is for men, and which is for women. And don’t get me started on modern shorts… alright. It’s too late.
A shorts digression
In summer I like to wear shorts. I don’t really like wearing board shorts (except to the beach) and I have lots of denim shorts (I don’t know why) – but nothing really in between except a trusty pair of cargos. Cargos are practical. Manly men wear them. They have lots of pockets.
So I went to DFO in Brisbane. It’s factory outlet mecca. The females of the species love it. It has lots of clothes shops, bag shops, and shoe shops. I searched high, I searched low, but other than designated sportswear and outdoor workwear there was nary a pair of shorts to be found that didn’t have stovepipe type legs with a folded up hem. These are girls shorts. Even I can tell that. Popular only with practical women and effeminate males. When did it become acceptable for men to wear shorts that tapered and finished above the knee, with the excess fabric folded up and stiched into a hem shape? And why can’t I buy normal shorts? Just regular. Practical. To the knee or below (but shorter than three quarter pants). Shorts. It drove me bonkers. Luckily it’s winter now so I don’t have to worry about the situation for another three months.
Back on topic
It is winter. And having spent the last four years living in the tropics, in Townsville, where the weatherman taunts the southerners by reminding them that it’s still 27 degrees during the day, I am no longer acclimatised to cold weather. Anything below 20 degrees requires three layers. My wife, who has blue blood (she tells me it’s a broken hypothalamus) can’t leave the house in less than four.
And it’s only going to get colder.
One piece of sartorial style of women and gay men that I envy is the scarf. It’s practical. It warms the neck. But in most senses and uses these days is a fashion accessory that is the realm of the metro or the homo:
Beckham even wears a scarf in the summer:
I think real men, if they’re going to wear scarves, wear them like this:
Though, according to this article, the way men are meant to wear scarves is:
“A man’s scarf should be worn inside his overcoat and exposed an inch above the collar, with the tie on view.”
But I don’t own an overcoat.
Apparently wearing a scarf, in this style, in New Zealand:
Prompts people to question your sexuality.
Pilots can wear scarves without similar questions being raised:
When I googled “man scarf” I found this “fresh off the press” article from news.com.au suggesting that man scarves are “in” this winter, and given my conformist tendency to non-conform I now have to suffer a cold winter, or invent some sort of leg warmer for the neck… Which somebody on instructables has already done for the ladies…
Or I could throw my lot in with the cowl wearers – there are worse things than dressing like Batman…
Here’s a man’s guide to knitting one…
He looks manly.
The cowl is a hoodie without the jumper. Practical and fashionable. Form and function. A triumph of winter wear. Problem solved.
Keen on Keanu
So Keanu Reeves is apparently a really nice guy. So says the Reddit forum, and it knows everything. This comment thread even spawned a website in his honour – Thank you Keanu Reeves.
This is the anecdote that gave birth to what could be a Hollywood meme to rival Chuck Norris facts.
Back in the late 90s and fresh out of college I got my first job as an assistant prop designer on the set of Chain Reaction (Keanu was a supporting actor with Morgan Freeman). EVERY DAY for the last few weeks of filming, Keanu treated the stage hands and “grunt workers” (including myself) by taking us out for free breakfast and lunch. He was genuinely a very nice guy to work with.
Since then, I’ve worked on about 30 different sets and have never met an actor as generous and friendly as him. Most actors I’ve seen and worked with are total douches who always think they are better than us. Keanu on the other hand, at the very least, was socially approachable and definitely kindhearted.
That was one example (that involved me directly), but (on the same set), I remember him going out of his way to give my friend a ride to the repair shop to pick up his car… I’ll write more as I remember, but its been a while.
I hope our turtles don’t grow up to look like this…
This guy looks like Bowzer, the bad guy from Super Mario Brothers.
He’s an alligator snapping turtle. Apparently people keep these for pets.
This is what our little guys look like…
If I fail Greek…
I still won’t enroll at this college…
So, last night, I decided to do some research on the fellow from this post. He has an Australian accent, so I figured he was probably one of ours… I was right. He’s in Brisbane. And he is an utter nut case. There are people who are on the fringes of Christianity who I don’t agree with, and then there are people so far gone that I think it’s ok to insult them.
This guy might have Tourette’s – but he’s also permanently drunk. He calls it “drunk in the spirit” – he claims to have been taken up to God for three days when he was converted 11 years ago, and to have been a “whacked prophet” ever since. He runs a college in Brisbane – I think he has two students. They are featured in this video.
His church, based on what I’ve seen in the background of his videos – appears to be his house. It looks like he’s painted the logo on one of the walls. He has pretty good graphic design, video production, and social media stuff going on – which is weird, because he’s otherwise completely insane. Here’s a bit of his “bio”…
Matt has been intoxicated (drunk in the Spirit) on the Father’s love since 1998, and at times is not able to function well in the physical realm due to the glory that rests on his life. He is a God pleaser. He is about his Fathers business….. drinking in the wine of Heaven and setting the captive free. Even though Matt has been in full time ministry for 11 years, he has kept himself out of the church “scene” so as to allow Holy Spirit to do His work in his life. Matt carries a strong prophetic revelatory, anointing and preaches whilst in a trance… or preaching whilst inside an encounter with Heaven.
Matt has a really simple style of ministry. He gets whacked (drunk… filled with Holy Spirit) and ministers from the glory realm. He spends hours a day drinking in the presence of Heaven so that he can unleash the torrent of the Fathers love every time he preaches. We have a staffing structure in place which enables Matthew to carry out his call and be filled with the “too much” anointing… continually.
It’s ok though, according to Mr “pisseth against the wall” himself – Steven L. Anderson – Bible College is a sin and will lead me out of fundamentalist KJV only soul winning orthodoxy…
Want to speak TED style?
TEDtalks are inspirational. Revolutionary. Amazing. And now you can create your own TEDTalk thanks to this bloke who conducted a careful analysis of the transcripts of every available TED Talk and counted up the most common words. Coffee was one of the results. These words are connected by the top ten four word phrases, and the final pieces of the puzzle are computer generated. I did have one combination of keyword options that started “It’s not nose picking” – I can’t get it back.
Here’s my speech.
When you look at the student’s, they rely on coffee that is quite nuanced in the same way that our neurons are. Efficient trimming causes the brain to recognize the exact way it’s supposed to think et cetera, et cetera. It is like French products becoming a very ecological choice. You don’t have to like it, but it is a choice that I often discuss in my seminars. When you look at the student’s, they rely on coffee which makes you both happy and excited. How many of you would prefer that to tea? I think it’s just like when the middle of it all, you could see the situation running the same way that a downward spiral would. It makes you yearn for coffee making you jittery et cetera, et cetera. So I thought maybe a mirror does not always reveal pleasant surprises. How many of you would rather consider coffee sponsored for by the administration of the United States. Who wouldn’t agree that happiness can only be achieved by connecting with the world.
Rallying the troop(er)s
Stormtroopers365 is a Flickr set that features photos of two stormtrooper toys doing stormtroopery things. It’s quite brilliant. I can’t remember if I’ve posted it before (which is happening a lot lately). But it’s worth checking out.
The land of the generous
Australians are generous people, and we’re always prepared to give from our own pockets to others, even if the others are multimillionaire actors in costume as a homeless person. This is what happened to Lord of the Rings (amongst other things) star Sir Ian McKellen, while sitting in Sydney a few weeks ago:
What your email address says about you
Via The Oatmeal… where else. But what he’s missing is what the stuff before the @ says about you. Which is probably more telling. If you thought sk8erboi45 was cool (like the 44 people before you), or anything similarly asinine, then you were wrong. If I were the type of person who hired people I’d look no further than the email address on most resumes before dismissing 85% of the candidates.
Pull up a stool
I know what keeps my customers satisfied. Poo jokes. Have you heard of the Bristol Stool Scale? This is a public health announcement – but I don’t want you sharing in the comments. Here’s a nicely rendered chart for your bathroom wall – it’s better than the wikipedia image.
From the never more aptly named “Flowing Data.”
Theatre of Crushed Dreams
Ahh. Sport. Home to such brilliant examples of myopic legalism…
Did you hear the one about the guy who pitched a perfect game on Wednesday (US time) – except that an umpire missed a pretty obvious out on his final play, calling the batter safe and crushing the dreams of the young pitcher? No. Well, the Major League Baseball administrators had to consider whether or not to overturn the decision giving this kid an achievement as rare as hen’s teeth (there have been 21 in history – but three in the last month), and they decided not to. Check out the story.
But better than that… The World Cup comes around once every four years. It’s the biggest event in sport (despite what the Olympic PR machine might say). North Korea (who probably should have known better), decided that the arbitrary three goalkeepers in a squad of twenty-three was excessive. So they named two, and picked a young striker to double as a goalkeeper, in the unlikely event that his presence between the sticks was required.
The catch is, that this player must play in goals. I didn’t know that was a rule. I thought goalkeepers could swap upon notifying the referee… but a 27 year old from a nation that isn’t a guaranteed qualifier for any future World Cup, ever, has had his dreams have been crushed by sporting administrators applying the letter, not the spirit, of the law. Brilliant. Here’s hoping the other two keepers get injured forcing him to make a stirring, Hollywood style debut between the sticks, only to win the World Cup for Korea. Then, in the celebrations, Kim Jong Il will adopt him as his heir. It could happen…
Diff’rent strokes for different folks
How does one appropriately remember Gary Coleman, the start of Diff’rent Strokes… one gets a live Christian prayer TV show to read its theme. Reminiscent of similar efforts with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air (that I’ve posted somewhere before).
Is eye contact really that important?
I am never, I guarantee it, never, going to preach like this guy (though I think he actually might have Tourettes)…
Why on earth is this on YouTube?
“You can’t stick your finger in a live power point and not have something happen.”
Commenting Rules
Commenting rules on blogs are generally pretty passe.
Mine can be summed up as:
There are times when I wonder how Christians should be governing their behaviour online. Justin Taylor had some good guidelines. He took the high road and used the Bible.
Those are great if your commenters are Christians… I like these ones (via Gordo) from Triablog (they expand on each point in this list on the post).
These are the first five, of ten.
*He sometimes gets the last word.
June 5, 2010