Author: Nathan Campbell
My piece of the “is that American Idol Contestant a Christian” group checklist
I’m participating in a Stuff Christians Like experiment. Because Stuff Christians Like is one of those things that Christians like. I am “part 14” of a checklist for answering the question “is that American Idol contestant a Christian”… I’m not American, I don’t watch American Idol (or the Australian iteration)… but here’s how you tell:
14. The contestant sings a Lady Gaga song … with an acoustic guitar = + 1 point (You can make almost any song feel kind of spiritual with an acoustic guitar.)
To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit the post on stuffchristianslike.net.
Six questions that make you a better writer
George Orwell was a good writer. I’ve shared six of his tips for writing before. Here are six questions he says you should ask of every sentence you produce…
- What am I trying to say?
- What words will express it?
- What image or idiom will make it clearer?
- Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?
- Could I put it more shortly?
- Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?
This is from this feature – writing tips from six greats.
I also love these 11 tips from Elmore Leonard.
1. Never open a book with weather.
2. Avoid prologues.
Which can be annoying, especially a prologue following an introduction that comes after a foreword. A prologue in a novel is back-story, and you can drop it in anywhere you want.
3. Never use a verb other than ”said” to carry dialogue.
Said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied.
4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb ”said” . . .
5. Keep your exclamation points under control.
6. Never use the words ”suddenly” or ”all hell broke loose.”
7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.
8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.
9. Don’t go into great detail describing places and things.
10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.
For example, thick paragraphs of prose.
11. If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.
And I love this quote… it reminds me of Jed Bartlett’s “next ten words” debate speech in the West Wing…
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? He thinks I don’t know the ten-dollar words. I know them all right. But there are older and simpler and better words, and those are the ones I use.” – Earnest Hemingway after he was told that Faulkner said he “had never been known to use a word that might send the reader to the dictionary.”
A proposition on artistic success
We spent yesterday afternoon at Brisbane’s Gallery of Modern Art (GoMA). Prior to hitting the corridors of culture I had a little “discussion” with Simone. Here is a proposition she vehemently disagreed with – for you to critique or agree with. Please, join in in the comments.
The true difference between a great artist and a successful artist is marketing.
I’m defining “success” as being “featured in a gallery” and I’m describing “great” as in “of a quality suitable to be featured in a gallery”. I think that for every artist that makes it there are several others of an equivalent level of ability who do not taste success.
I’ll share some further thoughts either in the comments (if you join in) or in a subsequent post.
Almost fresh idea
In the spirit of cardboard milk cartons that change colour when their contents are off, comes this milk pitcher that does pretty much the same thing…
From here.
Puppet paradox
From here.
Brotherly love
There’s nothing like toying with the emotions of a young child on Christmas morning to score a few cheap laughs. Here’s a life lesson for a little brother…
For those not bothering to watch – the little kid unwraps his present to find an Xbox box, he gets excited, he opens the box to find a pair of pajamas. What a rip off. There’s then a minute or so of the family laughing at him as he gets teary.
Does anybody else want to send this kid an Xbox 360 after watching this?
Creepy bear does your parenting for you
If you’re a paranoid parent – and what parent isn’t a little bit paranoid – and you want to know your child’s secrets, the type they’d only tell their talking teddy bear, you need one of these.
Sure, it might look a bit creepy, but it’ll ask your children questions and then email you the audio of their response.
Product specs:
- Your child’s closest confidante serves as your eyes and ears
- Cuddly bear talks to your child, encouraging them to share their secrets
- Says over 20 phrases, including:
- “I love you. Do you love me?”
- “You’re my best friend and I think you’re special.”
- “Best friends always share their secrets.”
- “Sometimes I feel sad. Does anything make you feel sad?”
- “Sometimes I get angry. What makes you angry?”
- “Sometimes I’m scared. What scares you?”
- “Do you have a secret, best friend? You can tell me anything.”
- Trigger phrases turn on the audio & video recording, which continues until child stops talking
- The confession files are then emailed to the parent (WiFi network required)
- Integrates seamlessly with Twitter, Facebook and Gmail.
- Retractable USB cord allows child to “charge” the bear (and secretly transfer files to parent’s computer)
Obsessives make for compulsive viewing
Chow (a food blog) interviews people who are obsessed about particular foods or beverages and posts the videos as a regular feature. People who love what they do are fascinating.
Here are a few.
On coffee…
On tea
On pizza
What your Easter service needs…
Is an all singing, all dancing, choir of middle aged people who all wear the same thing.
It actually gets worse.
Love your wife? Say it with manure
If there’s one thing I have learned about farmers this week it’s that they’re always in the poo. You’ll be in the poo too if you replicate this guy’s efforts in your living room or backyard… unless you have a big backyard or a wife who doesn’t mind the smell of fresh manure.
It’s not often that a woman will say that her husband gave her a gigantic pile of crap for her birthday — and she loved it.
But Carole Kleis isn’t just any woman — she’s the wife of a farmer, and a little natural fertilizer doesn’t bother her a bit, even if this particular usage is rather unusual.
“He’s done weird things before for birthdays,” she said. “But maybe not this weird.”
It took Dick Kleis of Zwingle, Iowa, about three hours to spell out ‘HAP B DAY LUV U’ — shorthand, he says, for “Happy Birthday, Love You” in 120,000 pounds of manure.
“I was going to put a heart out there after the happy birthday, but I ran out of manure,” he said.
“It’s not hard. Any manure will work but the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff works the best. It kind of melts the snow.”
Celebrity science
When I’m not suggesting that some science is bad science I’m laughing at bad science. An organisation called Sense About Science collects a litany of celebrity science gaffs and publishes an annual report (PDF).
My favourite comes from PETA activist Heather Mills…
“Did you know that when you eat meat, it stays in your gut for 40 years, putrefies and leads to a disease that kills you? “That is a fact,” according to the model and charity campaigner Heather Mills”
Via New Scientist