French prankster Remi Gallard has won a couple of nathanintownsville guernseys* in the past for his outrageous stunts. Today he wins a feature for his real life Pacman efforts – the funniest I’ve seen so far (real life Pacmans that is). Especially when he eats someone’s golf ball for a power-up. There’s a subtitled language warning hear (and possibly a spoken one too – I didn’t have the sound on)… but it’s funny. And thematically appropriate…
Author: Nathan Campbell
Dear producers
Producers of news programming in particular – and those who force clips from “…’s got talent” down our throats in the specific.
I don’t watch these shows. I choose not to. I am sick of seeing contestants who needed the platform your show provided paraded before my eyes everywhere I look. They are not news. They are not a “reason to hope” in these gloomy times any more than a lottery winner. They are the products of a vociferous, voracious, voyeuristic viewership – a body I do not wish to belong to.
Leave me alone. Keep your singing cat ladies to yourselves and viewers who have a nominal penchant for these trivialities.
I do not want your singing spam, I do not want them Sam I am.
That is all.
Self Help Books for Dummies – A beginner’s guide to writing self help books – Introduction
The book bestseller lists in the last few years have been dominated by works of non-fiction. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, as pieces of non-fiction, creative or otherwise, are much easier to write than a novel. Rather than relying on creativity and conventions of narrative, like plot, description and characterisation, non-fiction writers can rely on careful research, experience and the ability to string a cohesive sentence together – never suffer from writer’s block again. Writing is much easier when you don’t have to use your imagination.
While this trend has been worrying to many novelists, the news isn’t all bad. Books in the “self-help” genre have been selling particularly well. The self-help market requires very little research and a writer can achieve success with only a small amount of expertise and a lot of creativity. For those frustrated creative writers out there this piece should be seen as a guide to finding success in the dog-eat-dog world of self-help writing.
The most important thing to have in any industry is a plan. The fewer steps involved in the plan the more efficient and impressive it sounds. However, finding a balance between too much and too little is a very exact science, while a five step plan sounds impressive and well rounded, a two step plan looks like you just haven’t put enough thought into things. Here is this writer’s six step guide to writing a self-help book.
Step 1 – Picking a topic
Step 2 – Choosing a title
Step 3 – Establishing your credentials
Step 4 – Writing the book
Step 5 – Designing the Cover
Step 6 – Getting published
Promises fulfilled
I often make promises here that fall by the wayside – like a post listing all my best posts. That’s turning out to be a bigger ask than I thought… anyway, last week I mentioned I’d follow up my self help guide to taking over the world with a self help guide to self help writing. And here it comes. One post a day for five days.
Our holiday by the numbers
1807 pages of novels read by both of us.
780 photos taken.
1188km driven.
5000+ unread Google Reader items upon our return.
Victim of my own success
I’ve pretty much doubled traffic to my blog in the last few months. Which isn’t that impressive when you start from a low base, but it did bring an unexpected bandwidth issue. Readers, you have cost me $4. But I’m back. And these things only seem to happen when we’re on holidays. Also, I wrote this post on my phone while Robyn is driving over the Cardwell range.
Posts you might have missed
- Bacon gun will kill you
Posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 in OdditiesAnyone reading my blog over the last few weeks may think I have an unhealthy obsession with guns. They’d be wrong. I have an obsession with unhealthy guns – most perfectly epitomised by this the Ba-K-47. An AK 47 made entirely out of bacon. Mmm. Bacon. There are many more pictures of this piece of bacon architectural awesomeness here.
- I hate the bands that you like
Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in ChurchGenerally speaking I’m not a big fan of Christian music. Usually because it’s a cheap and nasty rip off of perfectly acceptable (if not sanctified) secular music tailored to a gullible Christian audience who will fork out money for poor quality material thus perpetuating the existence of bad Christian music by creating a market for it. Wake up people. Stop buying bad Christian music just because it’s Christian. Here’s some of the baddest Christian music ever released (at least judged by the album art) – while these are all thankfully stuck in the past there are modern equivalents who were no doubt performing at Easter Fest over the weekend.
- Stimulating questions
Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in PoliticsHas anybody out there received their stimulus money yet? I’m curious. Townsville readers probably haven’t – but I’m wondering what percentage of people have.Apparently the Government is essentially casting lots to determine who gets paid when.All cheque and EFT payments will be made using a post code selection process that is randomly generated, ensuring all post codes are evenly distributed to each state and territory each night (using the Australia Post predetermined percentage spread).
- Twistered towel
Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in OdditiesAdmit it – you’ve always wanted to play twister at the beach. Sand is the perfect surface for contortion induced falls. Now you can engage in your favourite floor game with these functional game mats that double as a comfy towel. They’re not so good for 3D twister – because beaches don’t have walls. For those not in the know – 3D Twister involves 3 mats in the corner of a room with two fixed to the walls.
- YouTube Tuesday (a day behind)
Posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 in CultureOne of my favourite EA sports games was the Rugby League 96 game featuring commentary from Channel 9’s commentary team – with no Phil Gould. I hate Phil Gould (except when he’s coaching NSW). One of Paul Vautin’s frequent pieces of commentary advice was for people who did something stupid to “give themselves an uppercut”. This guy took that advice literally…
Modular storage
This Tetris furniture brings a new challenge to the concept of modular storage and makes the gaming experience nice and tangible.

It’ll no doubt go nicely with the Tetris dinner set featured yesterday.
Bacon gun will kill you
Anyone reading my blog over the last few weeks may think I have an unhealthy obsession with guns. They’d be wrong. I have an obsession with unhealthy guns – most perfectly epitomised by this the Ba-K-47. An AK 47 made entirely out of bacon.
Mmm. Bacon. There are many more pictures of this piece of bacon architectural awesomeness here.

This grass spins me out
If you’re a city person itching for the feeling of grass between your toes then this one is for you… if you’re a country person itchy because of grass between your toes then it’s probably not.
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Methinks the creators were inspired by a “hamsterdam” joke – and decided to combine a hamster wheel with grass…
Accessories to murder (with)
Getting your hair to have just the right balance is vital if you’re a villain. You don’t want to end up looking like Kim Jong Il. To make sure you’ve got a killer do you need a killer comb. One of these might help. It’s a comb with a hidden stiletto dagger in the handle. Found here.
Or perhaps you just want to get in the right head space. This one’s not quite so subtle – or dangerous. Found here.
