Communication – Page 56

Bridge over troubled water

Ok, ok, so I might be going overboard with my enthusiasm on the Simon and Garfunkel reunion – but humour me. A toll road is not a bridge. But it’s close.

Have you heard the story about Nick Bolton. He’s the shareholder threatening progress on Australia’s biggest infrastructure project.

Nicholas Bolton - From the SMH

His story is a lesson in always reading the fine print when snapping up a bargain. He thought he’d found one when he bought 47 million shares in the company building the Brisbane Airport Toll Road – BrisConnections. They cost him $47,000. The small print pointed to two future payments of $1 per share. But he missed that bit. Ouch.

Not to be deterred – or overly concerned about the looming $94 million payment he’ll have to make – Nick is trying to close down the company. He’s almost a majority shareholder – and there are others who are in the same boat.

He’s currently in court. It’s a funny story. Shame he doesn’t listen to Muse. Their lyrics may prove prophetic in his case. Ahh Muse. They’ve got a song for all seasons…

“take, take all you need
and i’ll compensate your greed
with broken hearts…”

“Say, it’ll make you insane
and it’s bending the truth
you’re to blame
for all the life that you’ll lose and
you watch this space
but i’m going all the way
and be your slave to the grave”
– Lyrics from The Small Print, by Muse

April 3, 2009

PETA patter

It’s been too long since I last bagged out PETA. Far too long. They are stupid. Let that be on the record here. If in 15 years someone is vetting me for some high powered role and this disqualifies me… so be it. I’ll stand by this. PETA is stupid. People who protest about animal rights are generally stupid – there’s a generalisation for you… but they’re particularly stupid when they’re protesting about people shooting dogs. In video games. Where they’re also shooting ze Germans. And the dogs are nasty attack dogs. They’re not puppies.

PETA’s real beef should be with those who train vicious attack dogs, but then they don’t like beef either.

If PETA were normal humans they’d be much more worried about the fact that the game involves people being shot, but no, it’s all about dogs.

A PETA statement says:

“Not since we were pitted against Nazi attack dogs when we first escaped from Castle Wolfenstein 17 years ago have we seen such barbaric treatment of dogs in gameplay as we did in Call of Duty, World of War.”

This case was prosecuted by equally stupid students – who started a petition, because:

“Killing dogs as a form of entertainment … over and over again. That’s one of the objects of the game,” says Lucci, 19, a senior at NDA. “Parents need to know what they are buying their kids. Killing animals should not be a form of entertainment.”

“My little 12-pound Pomeranian, Winnie the Pooh, is sitting next to [Lucci’s brother as he plays the game], and I’m thinking, ‘This looks horrible!'” Lucci says.

Lucci then adds, “My brother is a sweetheart. He won’t be killing dogs after playing. But some people might.”

Those of you concerned about animal welfare in the gaming realm should apparently play Fable 2. It won PETA’s award for most animal friendly game release.

“In this virtual fight between good and evil, characters powered by tofu are just as powerful as their meat-eating counterparts—and are more fit and attractive to boot. Featuring a strong pro-vegetarian theme, eating a plant-based diet helps you rack up “purity” points, whereas eating meat makes your character fat and evil.”

“A fun and innovative game, it’s also an effective tool that teaches gamers the real-life benefits of a vegetarian diet.”

Here’s a video of Call of Duty’s dog killing exploits… warning contents may offend if you find the shooting of pixelated canines trying to rip the throat from your pixelated character offensive…

April 1, 2009

Having a gBall™

Tim asked if I’m planning to blog about April Fools news stories today. I was thinking about it. But hadn’t decided.

I was watching the Today Show this morning – and I never cease to be amazed by the number of people fulled by a pretty poor April Fools joke – just because it’s on TV.

The Today Show had school speed zones being manned by speedo and bikini clad “SPEEDOS” (an acronym they kept repeating) holding speed signs to remind drivers. Prompting much outrage.

Google’s joke is classier – the gBall would be a triumph of modern convergence technology…

The features:

Weighs an extra 107g
Extra 35.8mm in diameter
Kicks are automatically measured using special in-built equipment
You get personalised online kicking tips and suggestions, based on kicking data
gBall vibrates if player agents or talent scouts want to speak to you
Find your lost gBall online using Google Maps

The Link – gBall™.

April 1, 2009

Silencing the knockers

Today I feel tough. And manly. And have no insecurities on the basis that I drive an Excel – not that I ever feel particularly insecure on those points… it is after all, a purple Excel.

But Excels are for tough people. Bikies even. When they’re not riding their Harleys and bashing each other to death in airports.

And Excels are bulletproof (almost) and will keep you alive in the face of gunfire. Apparently. So there.

April 1, 2009

No no offence

“They make for a strange trio of bedfellows, Peter Jensen, the Anglican Archbishop of Sydney, David Marr, the journalist, and Janet Albrechtsen, the columnist – public figures whose views on politics, society and religion could not be more different.”

There’s an interesting debate taking place tonight. It’ll be online. It’s about freedom to offend (protecting freedom of speech). The above is the team for the affirmative… details are here.

It’ll screen here.

March 31, 2009

Fat chance

Morbidly obese pregnant women ‘commonplace’

Does this mean it’s ok to ask a large lady if she’s pregnant now?

Really though, this is another one of those irresistible headlines from the SMH.

Particularly when coupled with this picture:

Insert “your mum’s so fat” joke here.

This article really poses more questions than answers… but lets not go there. This is mostly a family friendly blog. Perhaps no more.

That is all.

March 30, 2009

Sub edit fail

The Townsville Bulletin’s sub editors have made a slight mistake today – incorrectly identifying the Member for the Burdekin – Rosemary Menkins – as Gandhi. Obscure political statement? Warranted kudos? No, I say mistake. Or joke.

It appears next to this comment by perennial political bridesmaid (and never the political bride) – Greens candidate Jenny Stirling.

“Jobs, justice, climate. That’s the theme of the protests at the G20 conference of world leaders and it hits the mark fairly and squarely. In Britain alone, 35,000 people marched and there was no violence, no ramaging crowds or damage to property, just real people fed up with a system that ultimately sees ordinary people’s lives and well-being as expendable. The only way we have ever had any sort of real and lasting social progress has been through non-violent expressions of people power: Mandela in South Africa, Martin Luther King and civil rights movement in the US, Gandhi in India and so on. And if all things are equal, the ballot box. ”

March 30, 2009

Get cremed

Cadbury Creme Eggs are a masterpiece of Eastery goodness. There’s a Facebook group calling for them to be sold all year round – and I’m all for that.

Cadbury ran a pretty awesome “egg death” marketing campaign where fans had to bring about the untimely demise of their favourite culinary creation.

Here’s something special – make sure you watch right until the gooey end.

March 29, 2009

You can take the girl out of the country

But as it turns out – you can’t take the “ladette” out of the girl. Despite what TV might attempt to teach you.

We watch Ladette to Lady. It continues to be one of my wife’s favourite programs… so we watched the reunion special the other night. What we didn’t see – but what those staying at the hotel the girls were reunited to did – was this:

“A hotel source confirms the ladettes drew at least a dozen complaints after having a topless romp in the hotel swimming pool at 1.30am, throwing objects from windows and trashing a hotel room, resulting in a cleaning bill worth several hundred dollars. “

The SMH story also demonstrates that the Herald’s sub editing department has an issue captioning people with just their first names… see below

The Australian Ladettes ... students (from left to right) Nicole Skye, Emily Krisyn, Bianca Maria, Sarah Zoe, in class with teacher Mrs Liz Brewer.

March 26, 2009

Adventures in TV

We caught Lawrence Leung’s Choose Your Own Adventure last night on the ABC (post Gruen Transfer). It made me laugh until I cried. It’s Safranesque – and produced by the Chaser team.

If you missed it you can watch it here thanks to the magic of iView.

Very funny. I’ll never be able to pick up a copy of the Queensland Presbyterian newspaper, New Directions, again without catching subliminal messages.

One of my favourite bits was when his mum told him what he was doing (trying to track down the object of his grade 3 affections) was creepy.

Here’s the trailer. It uses lego. He’s also a Rubiks Cube master. And used that to get a girl’s phone number. Chicks dig guys with skillz.

March 26, 2009

An ode to one

Channel Ten is launching a new. Free. 24 hour dedicated digital sports channel today. That’s pretty exciting. I’ve been waiting for this for a while – and Craig kindly reminded me with his post.

But. It seems we may not be immediately getting it in the regions…

“Network Ten broadcasts ONE in our markets of Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, Brisbane and Perth. For viewers outside those areas, our programs are carried by local affiliates.

We understand our affiliates are progressing well towards carrying ONE in their markets but for further information please contact:
– If your station is a Southern Cross station, please call Southern Cross TV on (02) 6242 2400
– If not, please contact WIN’s head office on (02) 4223 4199.”

But not to worry readers – I’ve contacted my contact at Macquarie Southern Cross and will let you know as soon as I find out.

I hope this isn’t one of those examples of regional areas losing out through the tyranny of distance.

March 26, 2009

Whoops

Sometimes letting a computer do all your work for you seems like a good idea. Other times it just gets you in trouble.

“The parents of a girl who died suddenly two months ago have been sent a letter from her school demanding she improves her attendance.”

“The letter – dated March 16 – said `students must have at least 92 per cent attendance and Megan’s is currently 60.4pc”

“At the time of her death, headteacher Mr Ward led tributes to Megan. He said: “Megan was a popular, bright girl, with a promising future ahead of her.”

For the full story click here.

March 26, 2009

Piece offering

How would you advertise Lego? It pretty much sells itself. Here are 39 clever Lego ads. A mix of inspirational and controversial. And a periodic table for good measure.

March 25, 2009

Things I’ve learned from advertising: Easter

Apparently the God’s of Olympus celebrated Easter by chowing down on Ferrero Rocher.

Depending on which camp you come from Easter is either the ultimate Christian holiday or a pagan festival for the Goddess of fertility.

Probably both. Historically at least. In terms of the position in the calendar.

It is regardless of your position, enshrined in the western world’s calendar as a chance to reflect on the death of Christ and celebrate his resurrection.

It is not a celebration of the Greek gods who accidentally dropped some chocolates from the sky.

March 24, 2009

Australian Traveller – goes to town on Yamba

I received an email today with a media release from Australian Traveller magazine. They’ve named Australia’s 100 best towns. Top of the list is pretty close to my childhood stomping ground of Maclean, Yamba. Awesome. Go the North Coast.

“Residents of Yamba, the sleepy and secret fishing village (population 5600) at the mouth of the Clarence River on NSW’s North Coast, may be upset at being named the Best Town in Australia. Their idyllic secret is out and they may have to share.”

If you’ve never been there you should definitely go. After holidaying in Townsville of course.

Dalby didn’t make the list. A travesty, obviously, but Picnic Bay on Magnetic Island did.

The methodology was pretty scientifically sound:

“A panel of tourism & travel experts decided the 100 Best Towns. The panellists were presented with a shortlist of 300 towns and asked: “On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to recommend a friend add one hour to their trip just to visit this town?” The answers were tabulated and the 100 Best Towns revealed.”

The full list will be available on the Australian Traveller website tomorrow.

March 24, 2009