Ninja Turtle Fish Killer
Our pets know me too well. It seems that they sensed Nathan’s absence and thought they’d have more chance surviving in the big wide world all on their own. If I had a video camera and some dramatic music there’s a good chance that the following recount would make the cut for Animal Rescue.
My students are the proud owners of two cute little clownfish named Coral & Reef, thanks to a visit from Mr Moorhead last term. They’ve been on an extend holiday at our house so that I could look after them over the holidays and on weekends until I could find an automatic fish feeder. Three days ago I bought the said feeder from a local pet store and set it up according to the directions. All going well so far. Over the subsequent few days I checked the tank carefully for excess food, of which there was none. Starting to think I’d solved the problem and could return the fish (and silence the nagging) I relaxed a little. Until yesterday. The feeder dumped an extremely large dose of food into the tank overnight which was now lying all over the sand, on the plants and had caused the water to turn a colour somewhat akin to apple juice. The poor little fish were not doing so well under these conditions. I started to panic. I’m sure most people would have, knowing that 27 little people were depending on you to keep their pets alive. Nobody likes a fish killer. My kids have already accused me of being a potential baby nemo killer by buying the wrong sized filter and that didn’t go down so well. I sprung into action, scooping out the fish and excess food, changing and filtering new water, and I began trying to ascertain the problem with the feeder. This process involved scraping out mushy fish food with my fingers and siphoning stinky water, neither of which took my fancy.
During this time, I thought I’d also feed our pet turtles, Frankie and Rosie. Frankie is by far the larger of the two, both in personality and size, and has had to separated from Rosie when he tried to kill her with a ninja death roll. We put the turtles in ice-cream containers for feeding so they don’t mess up the tank. In keeping with his Raphael persona, Frankie decided that he didn’t want to confined to the constraints of the feeding bucket and that leaping out of it, hitting the metal grate and landing the on the top of the buffet was a much better option. Not to be satisfied with the mediocre, Frankie started heading towards the edge of the buffet and a 75cm drop, which is a long way for a little turtle. He did this quite quickly as, contrary to popular perception, turtles are not slow. Thankfully I got there in time to stop him and return him to his tank. He gave me a good hard bite to show he was grateful for my efforts.
Now I have some much happier clownfish, a cranky turtle and fish food and stinky fish water all over my floor.
Audience of One
I’ve attacked my weekend task list with gusto*. Having successfully hijacked Nathan’s blog, I began violin practice.
Let’s just say that my violin isn’t the most exquisite of instruments. Nathan got it for $60 from oo.com.au and when I took to the highly esteemed violin teacher at school he suggested that I throw it out and get another one. Not wanting to waste a real bargain, I thought I’d get some practise under my belt before upgrading. I also know that a beginner violinist sounds a lot like cat claws on a tin roof or nails on a chalkboard so, coupled with a poor quality instrument, I don’t have a good combination going on. This in mind, all of my practise so far has been done while Nathan is at work, either on a Monday or if I got home earlier than he. So far, I’ve been a quite considerate learner, or, so I thought.
Shortly after I began playing this morning I heard a knock at the door. I quickly realised that all of my windows and doors were open (I usually shut them so nobody can hear me) so I thought it must be one of the neighbours coming to plead with me to stop. However, much to my surprise, it was a man from the unit diagonal from us who had come over tell me that my playing sounded “just wonderful” and that I should “keep up the great work”. My first ever compliment.
Quite chuffed with myself I returned to my playing, moving on from ‘Hot Cross Buns’ and ‘Ode to Joy’ to ‘Jingle Bells’. It’s then that I realise that, due to my ‘kindness’, I haven’t given Nathan much of a chance to hear me play. Never mind, I shall make up for lost time when he returns. Lucky boy.
*I tried to use this word on a child’s report card once. It got rejected. I was very disappointed.
Chaos
A large number of the men from Willows are roughing it on men’s camp this weekend. Last night I learnt that at such camps they “don’t need soap” and “probably won’t shower anyway”. Charming.
Nathan chose the optimal time to begin preparing for camp – 11pm the night before a 7am departure. This resulted in some difficulties arranging a few of the essential items he needed including a sleeping mat, crockery, toothpaste, a tent and a lift to camp. Thankfully he didn’t need to take his own food but the second thing that went into his bag was some freshly roasted coffee beans, a grinder and the stove top espresso maker. Even when camping there are a few luxuries one cannot go without.
During his mad scramble last night, I came to the conclusion that Nathan is probably not the most organised person that I know. At which point I began to wonder if women tend to be more organised than men. Probably not the question to ask Nathan at the time but I asked it anyway. And this led to a discussion. A long discussion. Very late at night. Which had no conclusion. We tried to come to some agreement by listing the couples in which the man is more organised but found this very difficult as sometimes perceptions are deceiving. What is true in your experience?
My theory is women are better able to multi-task and are more attentive to details which make them more capable of being organised. I haven’t yet found an argument to support that men are more capable of organisation.
Hijacked
Nathan has gone away this weekend to learn how to be a better husband. He’s left me at home, alone and sick. Does anybody else see the irony in this?
I’ve given myself a somewhat ambitious task list to complete over the weekend despite my absent husband and ill health.
1. Hijack Nathan’s blog.
I think I can successfully tick this one off. Off to a good start.
2. Master Greek. At least the first page of vocab anyway.
This one I think I’ll struggle with. I’ve been sporadically learning them for the past few weeks now and they are sticking in my brain very well.
3. Finish my 1st grade violin book.
I haven’t played my violin for at least 6 months because I broke the rosin. Having replaced this yesterday I’m ready for another shot.
4. Design an outdoor setting which I could possibly build.
So I know that this one is far too ambitious but I thought I’d do some research away. Maybe Dad will be able to help…
My intention is to give you an update by the end of the weekend.
Card bored?
Business cards are over-rated, well the standard ones are anyway. I get a lot of business cards in the average work month – and most of them are average. And they end up in a bowl on my desk – much like my own in house business card draw, only without prizes. Boring and conservative cards don’t get noticed. They get filed. So a nice card is a nice point of difference.
A while ago I posted 10 novel business cards. Here’s a collection of 100. Most of the ten I posted are there, but there are others that are nice. 90 of them in fact…
Want a youth ministry that rocks?
Let Ignatius ignite you.
His essential ingredients of Youth Ministry:
- An Xbox 360
- A copy of rock band
- A book deal
- A moderately priced hair cut
He’s edgier than Mark Driscoll.
“Ignatius makes Song of Solomon look like Dr Zeuss”
And all about rigourous training and preparation…
“I’m very serious about preparation – I’ll spend two or three hours doing prayer lattes.”
It’s 10 minutes of awesome Youth Ministry instruction…
Relax children, it’s a mockumentary…
Killer craft
If you want your kid to look this awesome you can get the low down here. And why wouldn’t you? It’s quite a finning design. Found here.
Ball loon
This is quite incredible.
It really wouldn’t be out of place in a circus – and I feel like I should know. Because last night Robyn and I hit big top for the Great Moscow Circus. It’s in Townsville for three weeks.
It was worth the price we paid for admission (free through a work contact) and probably worth the price others will pay.
There was a disappointing scarcity of scary animals – unless you’re scared by miniature ponies. Which Robyn isn’t – she wants four for the yard. She dreams of running our very own menagerie of rare and bizarre animals. That’s why ordinary people have pet dogs – and we have turtles.
It was actually a thoroughly enjoyable night – despite Robyn’s head cold/flu thing (she caught my man flu but it’s bashed her about a bit) – and it’s pretty cheap.
There are 13 performers (by my count) who each take on multiple roles (including selling pop-corn before the show and flashing trinkets and refreshments during intermission). It’s impressive. As is the guy on the ball – who prompted the post, and was discovered here…
Twix or treat
Instructables is a veritable goldmine of ideas – a repository of human ingenuity – a hotbed of innovation… I could go on. It’s brilliant. Particularly when somebody gives you the run down on how to produce your very own giant Twix.
The instructions are in some sort of Spanglish – but the pictures tell the story.
Ingredients
2 packages of cookie Maizena
1 package of caramel candy
2 pounds of chocolate to milk
From what I can gather you need chocolate, caramel and some biscuits – based on my experience with Twix, I’d say Milk Arrowroots would suffice…
Shirt of the day: Swinedled
It’s been a while since I posted a shirt link. Mostly because I haven’t found any great ones for a while. But this is vaguely amusing.
Quick reference calendar
I’m genuinely bad at keeping a track of commitments in diaries, although thanks to the iPhone and it’s brilliance I’m getting better.
I’m not sure that having the months of the year etched into your fingernails like these guys did is helpful – but at the very least it’ll teach you not to bite off more than you can chew… perhaps. Found here.
A mug’s game
I like dunking biscuits in a nice frothy mug of hot chocolate – but never in a cup of coffee. Unless it’s a plunged or brewed cup without the smooth microfoamed texture of a well made espresso based drink… The problem (other than the somewhat dubious rules of etiquette surrounding the dunk*) is that I never have enough hands to carry a stash of biscuits and the mug. It’s seriously inefficient. The “Dunk Mug” is here to help.
What a concept.
* The Tim Tam Slam is an exception.
