On a thing and a prayer

A few weeks back I made the suggestion that I was looking for something meaty to post about. But it had to be something that wouldn’t in any way disqualify me from future Presbyterian ministry. Simone suggested I write about prayer in church. I’m sure this was mostly prompted by a comment I made on her blog about a frustration I have about the “quality control” some churches employ when it comes to prayer time.

So here goes.

I think prayer is important in church. That’s obvious. I am in no way diminishing the fact that talking to our heavenly father is an integral part of church life – and must be part of the church service.

Public prayer is an interesting creature. Done well it can be encouraging and uplifting. Done very well it can spur people on to Godly thinking and concern for others – not to mention that faithful prayer is important to the spiritual life of a church community.

Done badly prayer can appear to be nothing more than a press release about the upcoming activities of a church. “We pray for the upcoming dinner socials, we pray for the car wash, etc…”. When prayer points are pulled straight out of the church notices they’re neither informative or insightful – it’s fair enough to pray for the fruit of an evangelistic event, or for an important training event, or in fact to pray for any ministry or event being run by the church in question. But to do it from the notice sheet verbatim is an easy trap for the nervous prayer – and serves nobody.

The other trap I think churches can fall into is forcing (or teaching or instructing) prayers to write down their prayers. Unless you’re a trained reader reading will always sound like reading not like natural speech. It’s unavoidable. Inevitable even. If you’ve got someone reading their prayer it doesn’t matter how well prepared they are – it will sound read. And things that sound read don’t sound like they’re from the heart – and prayer should be (and public prayer should sound) from the heart, not from a script. Especially not from a script that sounds overly honed for the benefit of keeping tight and presentable.

But… I hear you say. “But if people don’t write their prayers down they ramble and umm and ahh and that sounds so ungainly”… well I say “so what”. And if that’s really a problem train people in public speaking rather than get them to write down their prayers. Nobody wants to hear ramble – so train people to pray from points.

When Jesus was teaching his disciples how to pray (ie when he taught them the Lord’s Prayer), and later when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to the crucifixion, there was no mention of putting your thoughts to paper first. He prayed from the heart and with purpose, and subject to God’s will. Those should be the criteria by which we judge church prayers.

I struggle to come to terms with the idea that prayer is like music – and that those serving the body of Christ through prayer should be as prepared as the musician or the preacher. I know where the intention comes from. I too am a pragmatist. But I don’t think there’s anything worse for outsiders than praying to our living God in a stilted, unfeeling manner – a manner I think is encouraged by insisting on scripted prayer.

That is all. Next time I feel the need to write something that will make people angry I’m going to pick on church music. Sacred cows are fun topics.

Finally

My iPhone has arrived.

Thanks to the power of persuasion and a sympathetic employer.

Make your next barbie a swordid affair

What could be more fun than stabbing your sausages with a makeshift sword?

Stabbing your sausages with a makeshift sword while wearing a free mask… that’s what. And now, make that dream come true, this product doubles as a great prop for the next time you want to reenact Zorro in your backyard.

If you need some more help or guidance with your backyard culinary exploits or you’re more of a “cook by numbers” type – then take your barbecuing to the next point in the grid with this spreadsheet grill.

Shirts of the Day: League of cliched comic characters

Two shirts today folks. Variations on a theme if you will. A comic book theme. Featuring every single type of comic book character known to man. An encyclopedia of comic book media…

The good guys

and the bad guys

Both from Threadless.

This runner up (also from Threadless) features famous authors. 20 of them. Can you name any?

Kick out the jam

I’ve mentioned GraphJam before. It’s a fun site. It has funny graphs. Now it has a graph that I made. I’m unsure whether I think it’s funny or not. Making graphs for GraphJam proved to be particularly easy. You can do it here. If you do, and send me a copy, I’ll post it under mine. We’ll have a GraphJam jam. If you made a graph about jam we could have a jam GraphJam jam.

Bridge over troubled water

Ok, ok, so I might be going overboard with my enthusiasm on the Simon and Garfunkel reunion – but humour me. A toll road is not a bridge. But it’s close.

Have you heard the story about Nick Bolton. He’s the shareholder threatening progress on Australia’s biggest infrastructure project.

Nicholas Bolton - From the SMH

Nicholas Bolton - From the SMH


His story is a lesson in always reading the fine print when snapping up a bargain. He thought he’d found one when he bought 47 million shares in the company building the Brisbane Airport Toll Road – BrisConnections. They cost him $47,000. The small print pointed to two future payments of $1 per share. But he missed that bit. Ouch.

Not to be deterred – or overly concerned about the looming $94 million payment he’ll have to make – Nick is trying to close down the company. He’s almost a majority shareholder – and there are others who are in the same boat.

He’s currently in court. It’s a funny story. Shame he doesn’t listen to Muse. Their lyrics may prove prophetic in his case. Ahh Muse. They’ve got a song for all seasons…

“take, take all you need
and i’ll compensate your greed
with broken hearts…”

“Say, it’ll make you insane
and it’s bending the truth
you’re to blame
for all the life that you’ll lose and
you watch this space
but i’m going all the way
and be your slave to the grave”
– Lyrics from The Small Print, by Muse

Bombs Away

Bombs can be beautiful. They’re design is often streamlined for aerodynamic purposes which creates a certain aesthetic value. They often feature nice curves, and the symmetrical wings on their tails are a designer’s dream. Perhaps. Isn’t it a shame they’re used for such destructive purposes. Those peaceniks reading this should buy one of these vases to really make a statement.

The armamentophiles (my new term for people who like armaments) out there should buy them to complete the World War II chic decorating theme they’re going for in the bathroom with these – and these beautiful stickers. Bombs away.

That 70s Show

It’s 70’s reunion week this week. Apparently. Two of the best duos to come out of the 60s and 70’s (who also both split somewhat acrimoniously) have reformed recently and both have just announced tours of Australia.

Both these duos have been seminal influences on my taste in comedy and music, and musical comedy.

Cheech and Chong – everybody’s favourite stoners – are coming out of semi-retirement for a series of stand up dates around Australia.
And perhaps more importantly – and much more excitingly – Simon and Garfunkel will be touring Australia later this year. They’re playing a show in Brisbane (and a few others around the country) that will no doubt sell out instantly and be exorbitantly priced…

The Beginners Guide to Taking Over the World – The Power of the Dollar

A Modern Day Example – The Power of the Dollar

As time went by, and society progressed, it became apparent to those seeking unimaginable power that the killing of one’s enemies was something that was generally frowned upon. These would be power brokers were forced to look for new ways to demonstrate their dominance over the common man. They didn’t have to look far to find a common currency of power. In fact they only had to look to currency. Power is, as we’ve all no doubt heard by now, money.*

If we take for example, a company, who for the sake of this text I shall just call Microsoft, we see the archetypal modern day superpower. These days the best way to gain unlimited power without raising any significant opposition is to do it legally, corporately and globally.

The story of Microsoft is one that is both inspiring and interesting. Basically, Microsoft started out as a dream in the heads of two young university students who had nothing really going for them. No social skills, no interpersonal communication skills, they weren’t good looking, they were (probably) on the university chess team. In fact all they had going for them was intelligence and a desire to succeed. They saw a hole in the market that they believed they could fill and they filled it. So a worldwide corporate empire is not out of the reach of the ordinary man, or woman.

However, there are plenty of other books and websites for those of you who want to take over the world by making lots of money. This book deals more with the conquest based method of expansion. Even there we can learn something from Microsoft, every time any significant opposition, or competition as the business minded prefer to label it, Microsoft got rid of them. Admittedly the getting rid of usually involved buying the company at a fair price but the result was the same, the other company no longer existed. In this day and age you’re better off buying your enemies into submission.

_____________________
*Therefore by syllogism – time is also power, power is a root of evil and power makes the world go round. In fact if you think of any sentence containing the word money, you can pretty much always replace it with the word power, for example, the ABBA song Money would be called Power and go something like this – power, power, power must be funny in a rich man’s world. Again by syllogism we see that if power “must be funny” then power is funny. Neat hey.

Scales of justice

Another cool idea from Ji Lee.

These could only be helpful in my quest to earn an Xbox. I’m 15% of the way there I think. Last time I weighed in. Just 8.5kg to go.

Special Occasion? Rubber stamp it



More from Ji Lee
– the ultimate in sustainable greeting card production. Who wants to spend more than 50 cents on a card anyway…

Bakers delight

Zombies eat brains right? Human brains. So we should totally eat zombies. But they don’t really exist. So they should be eaten in cake form.

But if you want to have your cake and eat U2. Or it too. Or eat something a little more human themed and realistic.

Mmm. Cake. The making of is incredibly detailed – and pretty spectacular.

Here’s a sample.

A bunch of links – April 2, 2009

The Chicken Dance

This “Subservient Chicken” will do just about anything you ask it to. Provided you use words that can be generally applied and don’t want him to adhere strictly to a literal translation of your instructions.

chicken

It’s clever. And an ad for Burger King. Tell him to punch himself in the head. I did. And was pleasantly surprised.

Redesign

Dear feed readers – do youseselves a favour ay and check out the all new design of the still amazing and cool http://nathanintownsville.com.

I don’t want to brag, I made it myself. By myself. Using a piece of nicely designed design software called artisteer and then doing some coding stuff myself. Oh, and if you happen to use artisteer without buying the real version it’s pretty easy to remove the “trial” watermark they put all over your site.

You’ll also notice that I’ve moved to a two column design and now my much more frequently posted “oddities” from around the interwebs will appear on the right hand side only. Keeping the more serious stuff on the left.

This is because my wife told me she was sick of trawling through the odd bits to get to the good bits. Other people no doubt only read me for the odd bits so hopefully I’m keeping you all satisfied.