Franz Josef, Fox Glacier, Wanaka

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now my pain it is a here to stay… ok enough Beatles inspired parody blogging. The Beatles were on high rotation in a café yesterday – so I’ve got them on the brain now. I wonder if a whole generation of children have no idea how to spell beetle thanks to that band.
I am very sore today. Sorer than I’ve been since yesterday. I think on the pain scale yesterday scored higher. But I haven’t really walked around much today. The cause of all this pain and misery? Walking. I don’t know why people pay money to be tortured. Robyn and I made that mistake yesterday. We paid money to walk the Fox Glacier – currently renowned through all the lands as New Zealand’s deadliest glacier thanks to two silly Australians who ignored a bunch of warning signs to get up close and personal. The fact that a corpse retrieval operation was underway should have served as a warning.
Actually, truth be told I enjoyed the experience despite the burning pain in my legs. Or at least I enjoyed the destination and the sense of achievement. The four hour walk involved scaling 700 steps up a hillside before fitting “crampons”, special ice walking spikes, and trekking over hand cut stairs in the glacier. That was cool. Actually, it was cold. Our guide made sure the experience was a didactic one – I now know more about the ins and outs of glaciers than I ever thought I’d need, or want to. I can tell you that this glacier is currently advancing – not retreating – at a rate of 20cm a day. It moves forward 30cm but 10cm a day melts.
Now, after the four hour walk and five hour drive that followed, I think I could be forgiven for curling up into the fetal position and moaning for a day. But I’m not that kind of guy. We spent last night at Lake Outlet Park, Wanaka – possibly the most picturesque park we’ve stayed in to date. The park in Franz Josef offered terrific glacier views. Lake Outlet Park overlooks an amazing mountain fringed lake – like so many other amazing mountain fringed lakes we’ve passed. So it’s a close thing. Today we’re off to Puzzling World – conceptually Robyn’s favourite shop/theme park in all the land. We’ll see if it works out that way…
Yesterday’s drive from Franz Josef to Wanaka included passing over a lot of one lane bridges, which I still don’t understand, and interestingly named creeks and culverts. The best creek name we crossed was “Random Creek” – seriously, who names these things. There was a Joe Creek, a Roy Creek, a Canavans Creek, a ubiquitous “Six Mile Creek”, a “Chink creek” and a “Bishops Error Culvert”… I’m sure each creek, like each person, has a story.
In closing, if perchance you happen to undertake the Fox Glacier walk – literally following in our footsteps – and you have not yet partaken of your morning coffee – do not, under any circumstances, attempt to receive this fix from the Hobnail Café attached to the company. There are plenty of other cafes in the vicinity – don’t make our mistake twice.
The internet connection here is pretty patchy – but I am trying to put some of the photos from the glacier walk and all the lakes we drove past on the way online. Stay tuned.

Things I’ve Read

Picton: Widowmaker (almost)

New Zealand is a dangerous country – filled with opportunities for the daring to get their adrenalin pumping at a price. Free, as it turns out. I can’t understand why people will fork out big dollars for some “extreme sports” action when you could just come for a simple bushwalk with us. We are able to turn even the tamest activity into a real chance for death. Lesson learned. Don’t wear thongs on a bushwalk. Especially on rocky crags overhanging deadly ravines. More on that later.

We arrived in Picton having only visited one winery on our merry winery adventure. Wineries it seems, like everything else in New Zealand, close at 5pm. I don’t understand why tourist attractions like wineries don’t stay open to capitalize on those of us who are driving around enjoying the sunshine.

Our one and only winery pit stop was the Yealands Estate winery just outside Blenheim.

Yealands Estate

Yealands Estate

It’s about as close to brand new as you can get – and it’s a significant development. The storage facilities on site will hold over 3 million litres of wine at various stages of the production process – the vineyards will produce grapes capable of producing at least that much wine per crop.

I’m no wine drinker – and I have no idea about the scale of the average winery, but this one seemed big by comparison to those we drove past.

Our helpful British guide, Hayley, took us through the inner workings of the winery – including a cool “science” room complete with test tubes, beakers and an alcohol tester for the winemakers to fine tune their drop.

After the tour of the facilities we made our way to the “cellar door” for a tasting session. If I ran a winery my tasting bench would be an actual door – it’s odd that “cellar door” now just means wine bar in a winery, although to be fair the Yealands Cellar Door is in a temperature controlled “cellar” where they’re storing a bit of wine.

The Yealands Estate Sauvingon Blanc was the favoured drop of most in our party. It lived up to what are often very loose aromatic descriptors.
Having sampled six of their best we hit the road to Picton. Picton is a nice little harbour town, complete with marina. It’s quite picturesque, and after our holiday park cooked (as opposed to home cooked) Lamb curry we decided to head towards a nearby lookout for some happy snaps and post food induced exercise.

The lookout was nice enough – and offered a walking track with some genuine Maori culture – as signified by the totem pole at the entry.

Feeling adventurous we hit the footpath. Things were tame enough – we stopped in the foundations of some old Maori dwellings for a group photo and decided to head to the signposted beach before turning back.

Coming to a fork in the path we chose to head to the right – a path fraught with danger. Narrow. Rocky. Sandy. Slippery. We could only manage single file on the trip down – and the road led to a very narrow strip of rock, already occupied by some local fishermen (or fisherboys). We turned to head back, and after taking just a few paces up the track Robyn’s thongs gave out under her. She slipped. Fiona was right behind her. I was next. I looked up to see her on the ground. What I didn’t at first realise was that only her torso was on the ground – the rest of her was hanging off the side of the precipice. As she clamoured to get up the ground underneath her gave way and she was left hanging on by her forearms, legs pawing at empty air. Fiona helped her scramble up the rocks – and we were both left shaken, not stirred.

The (almost) deadly ravine

The (almost) deadly ravine


I was probably more shaken than she was – I’m quite attached to my lovely wifey. In my mind I was thinking of all the disaster stories you read where people meet their untimely demise while on holidays. She’s fine. Although she is sporting a new flesh wound on her already injured (at home playing indoor soccer) toe.

This morning we said farewell to our travel buddies – and picked up our own downsized hire car. The farewell was done in a style typical of my holiday accounts – over coffee, at a great café in Picton called Gusto. Robyn voted it the best coffee of the trip so far – I put it slightly behind Kaikoura’s Sugar. The French toast with bacon, banana and berries was absolutely sensational – with the toast component a perfectly sliced French stick and the bacon cooked to just the right side of crispy.

Robyn voted her ham, brie and tomato croissant the best croissant she’s ever had. Gusto was a win. Farewelling our traveling companions was a loss. We really enjoyed our time with them and continuing our holiday solo style is bittersweet. We cranked out the miles today though – to ensure the separation is more than just a separation in spirit – they’ve left for Wellington by boat, while we drove eight hours to Franz Josef before glacier walking at the Fox Glacier tomorrow morning.

Things I’ve Read

  • BK Sacrifice
  • – If there was a nearby Burger King in London, and my Hacker was seriously in trouble he could have earned 60 free whoppers with this Facebook app that provides a free burger for every ten friends culled – and a notification that a burger meant more to the user than their friend. Nice.

  • Poladroid Digital Polaroid App Released For Windows
  • – I was one of those people who was frustrated by the mac only deal with this online polaroid generator a while back – but there’s now no reason to feel frustrated. You can give all your images a nice, clean white border, for free. Without having to use photoshop. Well, there was actually a reason I wanted that originally…

  • Tetris Wipes Out Bad Memories, Say Scientists
  • – “Apparently Tetris—which requires serious brain power on your part—blocks your brain from storing those bad memories” – no wonder Robyn and I are so happy go lucky – if you play as much Tetris as we do you’re bound to have only positive memories…

  • Go Green, Get 100GB Online Storage Space
  • How not to teach children to gamble: Some biblical advice
  • – Interesting take on gambling from a Christian perspective. I’d have to say I’m nonplussed on the debate – it seems a bit like alcohol. Moderation and self control are key…

Things I’ve Read

Seal of approval

This morning’s activity involved some very cold water, hooded wetsuits and a colony of New Zealand fur seals. Oh, and some snorkels. It was cold. Did I mention that already? It was also great, there are hundreds of thousands of seals living on the New Zealand coast. Their numbers were significantly reduced as a result of the fur trade about 200 years ago. These particular seals were thought to be extinct. Luckily for us – they weren’t. Our tour guide informed us that a particular type of seal – I can’t remember which one – is actually more like a dog with flippers.

We finally found a good coffee – at a cafe called Sugar on the main street of Kaikoura. The temperature was perfect. Their big breakfast was also very big. We did have an abysmal failure from the cafe next to the seal swim place – it must have been over 100 degrees – it was scalding.

I think a general rule for picking somewhere to have coffee in New Zealand is avoiding anywhere serving vivace or hummingbird coffee.

There are photos from our last couple of days worth of activities now stored in our New Zealand picassa album – seal photos will be coming once we get the film developed from our underwater disposable camera.

Today is winery day – which I must say I’m particularly looking forward to. Must be off. The grapes await.

The road to Kaikoura

After an eventful morning farewelling Hanmer Springs in the best possible style – coffee at a Yak shack – aka an animal farm cafe complete with llamas, alpacas and what we think was a yak. We’re unsure because we weren’t prepared to pay the $10 each to leave the confines of the cafe for the greener pastures of a series of animal enclosures.
We hit the road – route 70 to be precise – although that’s from memory so it’s probably wrong and started the journey to the coast. We took a “scenic route” although I am unsure whether there are any non-scenic routes in New Zealand. I was struck by the lack of suitable shoulder areas on the road for drivers to stop to take photos. As my passengers were sleeping in the seats around me I was composing a letter to Tourism New Zealand suggesting they create better “lookout” facilities for drivers wanting to capitalise on the rolling hills and forests. But then I realised creating lookouts the whole way along would be an inefficient use of taxpayers’ money. We did stop for a few happy snaps – including the obligatory photos of sheep. Robyn thinks that sheep in New Zealand have reached plague proportions as every mountain is littered with them.
As we drove past a number of farmsteads heading into our eventual destination – the township of Kaikoura – I noticed that each had a unique letterbox – some where weatherboard, others were 40 gallon drums. I thought about commissioning a coffee table book of photos of the letterboxes of New Zealand – but didn’t want to end up with a collection of photos of bins (litter boxes). Something may get lost in translation there.

Tonight we’re in Kaikoura. I’m still unsure how that should be pronounced. We’re staying at a reasonable (both in price and quality) “Holiday Park” that’s Maori for Caravan Park. It’s The Alpine-Pacific Holiday Park. It’s an appropriate name. Kaikoura is situated at the base of snow capped mountains and on the coast – a blend I’ve never before experienced. The combination of New Zealand’s long twilight, the rocky beaches and a combination moonrise/sunset made for some great photos. Fish and chips on the beach is not the same without sand – but I’m happy to report the seagulls here are just as pesky as those in Australia.

We spent an inordinate amount of time throwing rocks at the ocean – well the brother-in-law-in-law, and I, started off trying to skim rocks, but that was an abominable failure. Then it became a chance to be like the children sitting next to us who were chastised by their family for throwing stones only minutes earlier. There was no fear of corporal punishment though – so it was an impressive effort by the parents to get their offspring under control. Robyn’s discus prowess was equally impressive. She could hurl a stone a mile (that’s a small bit of hyperbole) and it glided through the air with perfect form.

We’re going “swimming with the seals” tomorrow morning – so tonight was a great opportunity to scout out our prospective swimming buddies with a trip to the seal colony on Kaikoura’s headland. There was an impressive array of seals “sunning” themselves on the rocks by the water – and a bunch of really smelly kelp to add to the atmosphere. At this point the sun started to go down leading to a pretty spectacular photo opportunity on top of the hill.

I’ll have to add all the photos I plan to insert in this post at a later date, we’re about 4 minutes off running out of our hour of prepaid wireless. Hopefully some of them will be up on the picasa album before our time is through – tonight’s time that is. You should check it out now.

Hanmer Springs

Day three of our New Zealand adventure began with an early morning departure from Christchurch. We picked up a quick caffeine hit from the now thrice mentioned Honey Pot café and then hit the road. Christchurch has an inexplicable array of streets with changing names. Streets change names without warning for seemingly no reason at all. This made following googlemaps directions hard. We got a little lost. Tempers were frayed because we were late, late for a very important date. It wasn’t Alice in Wonderland and we weren’t risking decapitation at the hands of the queen of hearts – but we did receive an icy welcome when we did arrive at Hanmer Horses – the specialists in horse tours of the surrounds of the quaint ski village. We were asked to arrive with half an hour to spare, and got there with 20 minutes up our sleeves. Not a bad effort considering we’d run the risk of quite literally “running on empty” to get our troupe of equine adventurers to the ranch on time.
Hanmer’s very own Queen of Hearts greeted us with possibly the grumpiest reception I’ve ever experienced from anyone in the tourism industry. Actually, make that the second grumpiest. The grumpiest was a deckhand on the Dunk Island to Mission Beach ferry – who when informed that the journalists and Tourism Australia media representative I was travelling with had not been issued tickets upbraided us with a series of cuss words that only a mariner can truly command. But I digress. Tourism is a people industry. If you’re not into people – but like the company of a horse – perhaps vet science is a better career path. This lady yelled at her staff and then quite literally “took the reigns” before they’d had a chance to heed her commands. She harangued us for being late. For having the nerve to expect to pay with credit card using a signature rather than a PIN and was abrupt and sour the whole time she interacted with her customers. She was a blight on what otherwise was by all accounts a pleasant ride through picturesque New Zealand territory.
I was left to my own devices for a couple of hours while the intrepid “four horsemen” where off gallivanting and galloping around the hills, I used the time wisely acquainting myself with the birds and bees of Hanmer Springs. Literally. For that to truly make sense you’ll have to check out some of the photos in our web album – I’d link to them, but we’re very close to running out of time with our hour of wireless internet.
The riding experience left our party saddle sore and weary – and it was time for respite and repast. We made haste to the Springs Deli – where we supped on salads, and other such delights. All this eating and merriment left us in need of a nanna nap – so our troupe trouped off to our holiday house to emerge hours later ready for dinner. We decided to head back to the town centre to pick up some meat from the supermarket but decided to make do with an antipasto platter when we determined meat was not so forthcoming in these parts. The platter sated our hunger somewhat as we tried to negotiate a recalcitrant wireless hotspot.
We decided to go for some real food – and experienced what was roundly acclaimed as the best food we’ve eaten all trip, probably all year in most cases. Stone grilled meat is something I’d never experienced before – and I can only wonder why. This pub specialised in the fine art of stone grilling – which means they basically bring you a really hot slab of stone and some raw meat and you cook it yourself, to your liking. It was superb. The Moroccan chicken pizza we had along with the meat was also superb – and you’ll hopefully find pictures of both in our album – or here if we locate reliable internet before you’ve digested this post.
After this meal it was time for a movie and bed. We had to be up the next day (today – or yesterday depending on your timezone) for some whitewater rafting thrills and spills at the appropriately named “Thrillseeker’s Canyon”. Thrillseeker’s Canyon seems to have its approach to staffing just right – our experience there was nothing but positive. We were a little nervous to begin with because we’d been told this was a category 4 rapid run – and that apparently meant some serious rapids and danger. In reality the journey was smooth sailing with just a few bumps along the way. Our Maori guide – Darren – was excellent, and made sure we had an enjoyable trip with some forced “abandon ships” to make sure we had the rescue and recovery process down pat should problems arrive further downstream. The typical rafting run covers about 7km and includes stops for jumping off high rocks into water, and general aquatic frolicking. Our atypical trip ended with a nice surprise. The trip ends at a swimming hole – and I had asked at the outset how we’d be getting back from b to a. A to b seemed pretty straight forward. Our very helpful kiwi leader told me with a straight face that the river was round – and we’d just paddle back. That was all the answer we were given – and I was inclined to believe this was the case, however improbable it may seem. We were pleasantly surprised then when a jetboat arrived to pick us up. Generally these jetboats ferry passengers back to base – in this case we were treated to a surprise jetboat experience. It seems there’s a rafting/jetboat combo, and some of the group we paddled with had purchased that option. It’s a case of one in, all in. If only a couple of passengers on a trip order the combo everyone gets upgraded (shame airlines don’t offer the same level of service). We scored. All morning I’d been watching these boats hoon past with a sense of envy. We were given the run down at the outset – these boats sport twin Lexus V8 engines, at full speed they glide in just one inch of water. They’re aluminium, with the walls just 4mm thick. Our very experienced driver had been handling the boats, and the rapids, from the age of 13. This would have been comforting to know before he’d hurtled upstream drifting towards and away from the rockface at incredible speeds. There are photos of these boating adventures (or there will be soon) in the picasa album.
Hanmer Springs is a nice little village – and it’s easy to picture it filling up during ski season. Hopefully the coffee improves during peak time. We didn’t manage to find anything spectacular – and suffered through a couple of shockers picked up in pubs. Even if a pub advertises its coffee on its roadside A-frame it’s unlikely to be good coffee. I can say that now, with the benefit of hindsight.

Things I’ve Read

Things I’ve Read

Things I’ve Read

  • Who’s Going Where?
  • My year in beans: The cost of coffee
  • – Roasting your own is a guaranteed way to drop the cost of your coffee way lower than $2.70 per day. Also, cutting milk would be a substantial saver… but then don’t go out and buy a machine that adds about 40c worth of electricity to the cost of a couple of cups.

Arthur’s Pass

Day two of our New Zealand adventure (we’re now on day three for those who came in late…) saw us hit the road in our Mitsubishi 4WD hire car. We travelled from Christchurch to Arthur’s Pass stopping for an unexplainable number of one lane bridges. Seriously. How hard is it to build a two lane bridge?

Driving out of Christchurch past a number of farms we were struck by New Zealand’s fencing method of choice – a large hedge. We’d noticed it from the air coming in. Every farm we went past had hedged boundaries. It looks cool from the air – but more impressive on land. Speculation as to why they’re there came up with a number of nefarious solutions – probably the pick of the bunch was that they were actually “smack farms” where parents could go to punish unruly progeny. Smacking is illegal in New Zealand.

The other thing I noticed (other than the rolling hills, mountains, creeks, lakes and valleys) was that New Zealand – or at least this stretch of road (and the stretch travelled today) has a lack of roadside advertising. There were no billboards. None. I wonder if this is a result of legislation – or just because there aren’t that many people interested in advertising. I suspect the former. Given tourism’s significant slice of the economic pie in New Zealand I suspect there are a number of “keep New Zealand beautiful” strategies – possibly including a ban on billboards. I’ll look that up later.

It was very cold yesterday – the car’s thermometer had the outdoor temperature hovering around the 10 degree mark – I don’t think that took wind chill factor into account. It was cold.

Coffee enroute came courtesy of a small cottage cafe called “Espress yourself” – I am of the opinion that there is a very limited number of coffee puns appropriate for cafes.

Espress Yourself - coffee in a cottage

Espress Yourself - coffee in a cottage


By the time we got there I was deep into caffeine withdrawal. The headache was a killer. I ordered a bowl of coffee.
The 50c piece is there for scaling purposes

The 50c piece is there for scaling purposes

Robyn scored the coffee here a 6/10 I think. She’s pretty fussy these days. We’ve had her doing video reviews at each stop – but she won’t let me post them online.

Today sees us in Hamner Springs – where the other four have taken a horse trek. While I, not relishing the thought of four days of post horse pain, have chosen to explore the little village – and here I sit, posting this. I should probably go collect the others now.

Christchurch

We’ve spent our first couple of days in New Zealand in and around the city known by airlines all over the globe as Chch. Actually that’s not true. By Australian standards we’ve been around it – but two hours travel in New Zealand is a relatively long distance. In the truest sense of the word. Relatively that is. Whether or not it’s the truest sense of the word distance is a subjective matter and for you, the reader, to decide.

Christs church?

Christ's church?

Christchurch is a city that resonates with me. Maybe it’s the name – which for a Christian is about as theologically “home” as I can be. It feels like Melbourne – or at the very least the block we’re staying in does. Other parts feel decidedly country townish. The fact that the sun doesn’t go down until 10pm makes the CBD feels a bit like a ghost town.

Christs church? Even the pubs get on theme in Christchurch

Christ's church? Even the pubs get on theme in Christchurch.

The surprisingly large number of cafes and restaurants are still closed for the Christmas period adds to that effect. But there are some nice bars, cafes and pubs within the immediate vicinity of our accommodation, and a nice creek/river/brook running through parks around the city centre making the city aspect altogether pleasing. Trams are another similarity with Melbourne. The restaurant tram would be an interesting experience I’m sure – but our desire to see New Zealand without breaking the bank meant tonight’s dinner at least was bolognese – with the ingredients picked up at the local “Pak’n’Save”… which is a grocery experience unrivalled by anything I’ve seen in Australia.

I mentioned the Honey Pot in my last post – but their open grill sandwhiches deserve another plug for outstanding flavour combinations, especially the homemade chutney.

The appropriately named Joe Bloggs - Chicken, bacon, brie, mayo and mushrooms

The appropriately named "Joe Bloggs" - Chicken, bacon, brie, mayo and mushrooms

The coffee on the other hand – in this case a cappuccino – came garnished with so much chocolate powder Robyn suggested spooning it off to make hot chocolate back in our hotel room.

Robyn still scored this a generous 7/10

Robyn still scored this a generous 7/10

Last night’s dinner was at a Chinese restaurant with a generic, forgetable name. Having a Chinese speaker (or a learner) at the table with us was an advantage – the Chinese pages of the menu were designed to obfuscate dishes the owner felt westerners like us would not appreciate. The helpful waiter recommended the place up the road if we were on the lookout for authentic Chinese cuisine. But we stayed. The crispy duck was sensational – as duck is wont(on) to be. The Chinese beer – the Tsingtao – was also good.

Mother duck said quack, quack, quack, quack and one less little ducky came back

Mother duck said "quack, quack, quack, quack" and one less little ducky came back

I told Robyn’s little sister that we’d book some haunted accommodation to really make her first (and mine) overseas jaunt extra dramatic. She’s a dramatic person. There’s a wind tunnel type effect creating ghost noises outside our room at Living Space – and we had to furnish the room with our own ghosts to complete the experience.

Who you going to call?

Who you going to call?

Today we made the trek to Arthur’s Pass – from the comfort of our car. I’ll have none of that stuff the kiwis call “tramping” on my holiday. I’ll have to write about that later – we’re off to Hamner Springs early on the morrow.

Spiderman

I’m sure you remember David Thorne – even if his name isn’t immediately familiar. He’s the guy who tried to pay an outstanding debt with a spider drawing. He’s back. This time inviting himself to a neighbour’s housewarming after he received this note in his letterbox:

I won’t spoil it for you, but this is one of my favourite bits from the lengthy exchange of emails:

“Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won’t be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.

It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived ‘through’ the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.”

Youtube Tuesday: Goal

I think this might become a regular feature if I can find at least one YouTube (or other online video repository) video worth posting each week. The guy doing the kicking is the same guy in the Super Mario Kart Video I posted a couple of weeks ago. He’s obviously very talented – if this video is to be believed.