Spiderman

I’m sure you remember David Thorne – even if his name isn’t immediately familiar. He’s the guy who tried to pay an outstanding debt with a spider drawing. He’s back. This time inviting himself to a neighbour’s housewarming after he received this note in his letterbox:

I won’t spoil it for you, but this is one of my favourite bits from the lengthy exchange of emails:

“Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won’t be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.

It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived ‘through’ the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.”

January 6, 2009

Youtube Tuesday: Goal

I think this might become a regular feature if I can find at least one YouTube (or other online video repository) video worth posting each week. The guy doing the kicking is the same guy in the Super Mario Kart Video I posted a couple of weeks ago. He’s obviously very talented – if this video is to be believed.

January 6, 2009

Things I’ve Read

January 6, 2009

New Zealand Photo Album

How did they know I was coming?

How did they know I was coming?

Our New Zealand highlights are being shared via this picasa album. Enjoy. This post is sticky so will greet you at the top of the page each time you come here. There will no doubt be new stuff you haven’t seen below this post. Maybe. Enjoy.

January 6, 2009

New Zealand

So we’re in New Zealand. We being my wife, two sister-in-laws and brother-in-law-in-law. We arrived yesterday at 3.30pm here time (midday ours).

The cross cultural feel didn’t kick in until we left the airport. Everything looked the same – and having kiwis doing menial jobs for you is nothing out of the ordinary. That was a joke.

As we travelled to our salubrious digs in the Christchurch CBD in our hire car we all had a little giggle at the following ad:

“Million dollar beard sale for a limited time only.”

Everything but the beard was clearly understood. I know bagging out the accent is old hat – turns out it was a clearence sale for beds.

Our first stop was nextdoor to our 3 bedroom unit – in a funky refitted warehouse called Living Space – at an equally funky little cafe called The Honey Pot. They made very good sandwhiches and ok coffee. Robyn’s video review of the coffee will be posted at some stage when I complete a more comprehensive travel journal.

We trapsed through the streets of Christchurch until the wee hours of the morning – it was daylight until 10pm. I took close to 600 photos with our new camera. Taking photos is now too easy. Deleting unwanted ones is going to be a nightmare. Anyone fancy a slide night when we get back… No. I didn’t think so. We still have 12 more days to amass photos for your viewing pleasure. That’s a lot of photos.

January 6, 2009

Things I’ve Read

January 5, 2009

Listmania

I’ve been sharing a lot of lists using Google Reader lately – which means a lot of list links on this ‘ere blog. If you like having all of the good bits of the internet in one place I recommend Alltop – the self described magazine rack of the internet. Sorted by topics, or alphabetically.

January 4, 2009

Separated at birth?

Watching the cricket today I’m struck by how much new recruit Doug Bollinger looks like Gollum from Lord of the Rings…

January 4, 2009

Thinks it spoils the magic whe…

Thinks it spoils the magic when Kerry O’Keefe appears on TV.

January 4, 2009

Green on the black list

There are a number of words I’d like to blacklist at work. Identified, sustainable, showcase… a bunch of buzzwords robbed of their meaning by overuse and the ability to fit into any context. I don’t like weasel words – and I recommend removing them from anything you write/produce/say lest you fall into a position where your colleagues play bingo based on the predictability of your speech.

The Lake Superior State University has published a list of banished words. They’re not arbitrarily selected. They give reasons. And also include popular, overused phrases. Words on the list include: green, first dude, bailout, maverick, carbon offset and others.

What words/phrases would you ban given the chance?

January 4, 2009

Things I’ve Read

January 4, 2009

Daily bread

The bread of life

The bread of life

This unleavened (probably kosher) pita bread Jesus is on sale via New Zealand auction site TradeMe. The story is here at the SMH. There are plenty of good bread puns to be made with a story like this. But I won’t. They wouldn’t be in good taste, and would likely be stale.

This bread immediately reminded me of this Museum of Idolatory that keeps track of modern Christianity’s dalliance with commercialism.

iJesus

iJesus

Robyn and I failed miserably in our attempt to read the bible in a year last year. Largely because I’m slack when it comes to personal motivation to chew through the boring bits of the Old Testament. Chronicles anyone? Maybe this year will be different – perhaps Jesus shaped toast is the motivation we’ve been missing.

January 3, 2009

I spy

Spy vs Spy

Spy vs Spy

This cartoon reminded me of a scene from NCIS the other night. It’s one of those TV shows I’ve probably under appreciated- the other being Bones. This post is largely about the things that I’ve been occupying my time with so far these holidays. I really like xkcd. I find their blend of stick figures and humour quite appealing.

I’ve been on holidays for a week now – or just over a week. My holidays thus far have consisted of time spent with family celebrating Christmas and having idiosyncratic family “moments” and the inevitable resolutions that follow. I’ve been filling the time reading books, and watching some cricket, and some Prison Break (series 3).

The cricket has been largely frustrating. Honestly, how our bowling attack seemingly duel handedly rested on the shoulders (how’s that for mixed metaphors) of Warne and McGrath for so long without our esteemed selectors doing any succession planning is beyond me. How can we be so devoid of bowling talent in a nation that prides itself on the depth of our domestic competition. I blame twenty20 or however they write the name of that abomination that causes desolation… anyway, I digress.

I’ve also managed to plow through a David Baldacci thriller. I don’t know about you – but I like my holiday reading to be pretty mindless. So “The Whole Truth” appealed to me much more than it did to the reviewer quoted on the Amazon page:

“Usually a sophisticated plotter, bestseller Baldacci (Absolute Power) offers a story line and villain on a par with an average James Bond film in what’s billed as his first international thriller. Nicholas Creel, the head of the Ares Corporation, a huge defense contractor, hires a perception management firm to start a second cold war by planting fake news stories on the Internet about Russian atrocities.”

Really it’s Wag the Dog for the Web 2.0 generation. Where once movie studios were used to create conflict for political gains – the protagonist in this novel employs blogs and youtube. I enjoyed it.

Not quite so mindless was the next holiday read – Final Theory. It’s like science fiction – only fiction about science, rather than the traditional sci-fi.

I find injustice in books slightly frustrating. When the central character is under unwarranted scrutiny or being mistreated by the “good guys” – the authorities. Which is what happens at the start Final Theory.

I watched the Get Smart movie last night for the first time. It was funny, and it’s the common thread that links the title with these other ramblings – other than the fact that they’re what I’ve been “spying” in the last few days. I enjoyed Get Smart.

I am in a little trouble though – I’m now almost at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the books I have to read during the holidays (and we’ve got a bit of flying and driving ahead of us with our New Zealand jaunt just around the corner). I walked around Angus and Robertson yesterday and was pretty uninspired. Any suggestions would be welcome.

January 3, 2009

Things I’ve Read

January 3, 2009

Mallrats

I was walking through Pacific Fair today. It was jam packed. From carpark to K-mart – everywhere was teeming with busy consumerism. And I liked it. Despite what the hippies might say. I buy therefore I am. With that out of the way (and without revealing any purchases made ahead of my family-in-law’s Christmas celebrations in the brighter hours of this morning), I was struck by a thought as I ducked and weaved through the crowds holding tightly to my wife’s hand. Nay. I was struck by three thoughts…

1. There are literally billions of people in this world who I will never ever meet, but may walk past fleetingly in a shopping centre. That could be my sole interaction with them. Ever. Being in the same place at the same time. Competing for that single spare space in the car park – a coincidental intersection in the space time continuum. That is mind boggling. Each of these people has a life, a history, a story of their own… and each has a different reason for being at the shops at the same time as me. Robyn and I were sitting in one of Pacific Fairs many food courts tittering at the idea of standing on the table and doing some street evangelism. What would the police say as they dragged me away on trumped up public nuisance charges? I do like to watch people as they walk around and judge them by their clothes, snippets of conversation and the way they discipline their children. I like to speculate what their life story is. What life is like for them. Why they’re buying 50 rolls of no frills single ply toilet paper in one go (that sentence could do with some hyphenating). Nobody needs that much TP. People watching is fun. I can almost understand the tantalising appeal of reality television at that point. Almost. Only real life is more fun.

2. Krispy Kreme deserve to be famous for their coffee – not just their donuts. Their stores are always immaculately kitted out with cutting edge coffee machinery – and staff who seem to know their way around a Mazzer grinder and aLa Marzocco machine. I guarantee Krispy Kreme will produce a better coffee than any other global franchise. They leave Starbucks and Gloria Jeans for dead. Every Krispy Kreme store I’ve been too has the same coffee kit – and it works like a charm.

3. If I ran a candy store I would be as happy as a kid in a candy store. Lolly shops are great. I’ve only been to one or two in my time that had an owner straight out of Roald Dahl’s “Boy” – a sour, dour old person. Lolly shops seem to attract nice people. How could you not be happy surrounded by so much sugar? If I weren’t so enamored with the other careers I plan to pursue then I would quite happily start up a lolly shop/cafe.

3a. Simply because I want to add an extra point while adhering to my “three points” promise – I’d like to point out that cookie shops always smell the best of all. I love the smell of fresh cookies at cookie man. That must surely be their sole marketing pitch. Krispy Kreme at Pacific Fair hand out little paper hats to children so they’ll wear them as their parents shop. At least their unruly behaviour may draw the eye of passers by. Cookie Man doesn’t need such trivialities. They have an aromatic weapon that works like the pied pipers flute. I did hear at a tourism industry workshop with Tom O’Toole – owner of the Beechworth Bakery – that one of their successful initiatives was to pump the smells from the bakery kitchen out onto the street. If I were to start up a lolly shop/cafe I’d have to think up a similar scheme.

January 3, 2009