I continue my fascination with the sort of psychological make up that leads people to don spandex, leather, and bulletproof vests to patrol the streets as super heroes. This article has done nothing to convince me to put an end to such fascination, but nor does it make me think the heroes in question are even remotely sane.
Here is Phoenix Jones. I’ve posted about him before. He’s still alive, which is possibly miraculous.
The social media war is heating up. Soon Google Plus, Facebook, and Twitter will be doing just about anything to get you on board. I’m on all three. And I’ve got to say, for the record, that the number of conversations on each platform about the other platforms is getting a little out of hand.
I’ve posted some of these before. But the discovery of a service that turns your ashes into bullets was enough for me to put together a little bit of a digest post. I’m not suggesting you digest your ashes. That would be a little bit too Keith Richards (he snorted his dad).
No. Friends. These are quality tacky. Not your regulation celebrity style tacky.
Holy Smoke will convert you to ordinance for the low, low price of $1,250. A small price to pay – especially if somehow the bullets can be used to avenge you.
What you get for the standard price of $1250.00 –
For the shotgunner:
250 shotshells (with your loved ones ashes loaded per shell) shipped in fifty-round, labeled, plastic shotshell carriers with handles.
For the rifle shooter:
100 cartridges in standard calibers (with your loved ones ashes loaded in each cartridge) shipped in labeled, plastic cartridge carriers.
For the pistol shooter:
250 cartridges in standard calibers (with your loved ones ashes loaded per cartridge) shipped in labeled, plastic cartridge carriers.
2. Become a tattoo.
Apparently it’s feasible, though finding a tattoo artist who is keen on the idea might prove difficult.
3. Become an Hourglass.
Like ashes through the hourglass, these are the days of your life. At least for your relatives.
4. Become a diamond.
If you want people to remember that you rocked… LifeGem. They’ve got you covered.
Heavens Above Fireworks exist to make your space dream a reality. So long as your dream involved being blown up before leaving the earth’s atmosphere.
“We arrange special fireworks displays which include a number of unique fireworks designed or modified to incorporate cremation ashes, allowing for a spectacular memorial event and happier farewell.”
9. Become the paint in some modern art
Famous, well, almost famous, artists are standing by to turn your ashes into a masterpiece to adorn the wall of your nearest and dearest.
10. Become a record.
Most countries will put your name somewhere in a registry. If you want a real record though, the previously featuredAnd Vynyly will turn you into a meaningful mixtape for your friends. If you pick the right songs they can enjoy some special backmasking messages too.
So there you have it. There was somebody who at one stage looked at turning ashes into pencils – but their site is now down. And there are plenty of people who’ll send you into space.
Wow. These are part disturbing part, well, disturbing. Zombie themed ten pin bowling balls. Smash some heads with pins. Perfect practice for the Zompocalypse.
What do you get the German skinhead who has everything? Especially if you want them to reform form their Skinhead ways? You get them a nice skull and cross bone t-shirt. And you give it to them. For free. But you make it so that after one wash the shirt changes completely.
Brilliant.
“With a skull-and-crossbones logo and the message “Hardcore Rebels – National and Free,” some 250 black T-shirts given away at a recent right-wing extremist rock festival were quickly snapped up. But there was more to the tough-looking image than met the eye.
Once the rightist rockers washed their new shirts, they were dismayed to find an entirely different message: “If your T-shirt can do it, so can you. We’ll help to free you from right-wing extremism.” The offer, complete with contact information, came from a group called Exit Deutschland, which helps people get out of the neo-Nazi scene.”
That’s a mock up of a tugboat towing an iceberg. The plan is to stop letting fresh water melt into the ocean and start shipping it to places where there isn’t much water. Seems clever. Though pretty inefficient.
“The cost of iceberg transport have not been made public yet, but pilot programs–initially just try to tow a mini-iceberg a short distance, says Simard–are underway. And there is talk, at least, of a real-world trial in 2012 or 2013.”
I’m sure there’s some sort of sermon illustration here. And it’s less ecumenically problematic than talking about bringing the mountain to Mohammad.
Here’s a sign of the times. Stockbrokers with their hands on their faces. It’s funny when you contrast it to the brash way stock brokers present when they’re giving stock tips or talking about the market when they’re on television.
Now, it may be that playing baseball and dressing up as a police officer has suddenly become popular in England, but this is one particularly alarming little tidbit from an already particularly alarming situation.
We went to a shopping centre on Sunday. A big one. I was shocked by the awesomeness of the Apple Store, the way shopping centres have almost entirely replaced the function of church on a Sunday in Australian culture, and the incredible number of outlets selling sparkly covers for mobile phones. None of them were quite as disturbing as this…
Pretty excited to be seeing Gotye in Brisbane in October. He’s playing with an orchestra. Should be awesome.
Also, Boy and Bear’s new album Moonfire is the goods. One of the guys in the band is named Killian. I really don’t mind that name, but Robyn has ruled it out for any sons we might have in the future.
